I’m sitting here watching the rain
Hit the pavement and slip down the drain
Like all the time I spent trying to make things work with you.
Honestly, hand me the blame.
I lock my feelings in a box
place it high up on a shelf
even my daddy says I never express myself
I wish you the best.
Live a life that’s blessed.
I’ll be here watching the rain hit the pavement
And slip down the drain.
Like all time I will waste trying to make sense of you.
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Canary word: Present
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125,025 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Hey Sofie! I am back with another review for one of your fantastic poems today! I hope you are doing very well, it’s been a little while since I’ve seen you around. Anyways, let’s jump right into the review and not least anytime:
to start off your poem, you explain how you were sitting and watching rainfall. You relate this to a time in your life when you were trying to make something work with another person, which I assume did not work out very well. From your words, i sense a lot of contention or anger at this person for not being able to have things work out. You even asked for the blame to be handed to you, which leaves me to think that maybe you feel a lot of regret for this event.
One thing I really like about this poem is how You relate deep and emotional experiences to these different physical things. For example, locking your feelings up in a box on the shelf. Or watching rain fall.
You capture a lot of emotion in this poem, like wanting to make sense of past events that still confuse you. One thing I love about poetry, how it allows me to collect my thoughts and think about how I really feel, which helps me move forward when things are hard. I loved how this was not overly complex, but you were able to get your feelings out in a way that was relatable to me too. You make some really simple statements powerful. You also use some pretty elegant words here too, I like how you even wished this person who hurt you to be able to live a life that is blessed. Overall I love this poem, friend. Have a lovely day and keep writing!
Your friend,
Ellie
Hello Hello, I hope you dont mind me popping in with a quick review. I will apologize that this might be a short one. However, I do hope that my thoughts could at the very least brighten your day. Now I should cut out my rambling forward and start on the review. With that being said let's get into it shall we?
Overall I liked this piece it was a very nice length for what you were trying to convey. I enjoyed the energy it gave off it felt very quiet and down to earth in a very relatable way. I haven't gone through a breakup however I have had friendships fall through and often found myself pondering what ifs. The way you wrote this felt very calm and done in a melancholic manner. Although it didn't use too much imagery I felt I could picture the feel and scene you laid out.
I would normally put feedback here but nothing jumped out on a first read. Instead, I think I will state my closing thoughts.
I enjoyed sitting in this quiet moment that you shared with us. I hope you are doing well. As always keep writing and remember to drink water!
Nice work done by the author.
"Honestly, hand me the blame.
I lock my feelings in a box
place it high up on a shelf
even my daddy says I never express myself
I wish you the best.
Live a life that’s blessed."
The author is really good at expressing his/her feelings and thoughts in words. I love the poem due to its short and to the point format, gaining its readers' interest.
Keep it up.
Waiting for more.
Thank you.
Hello! I'm Ava
I had to write a review for this.
The way I crumbled after reading this piece!
Before I say anything, I LOVED the rhyme scheme, it's perfect.
It's remarkable how you showed the rain to express the melancholy you felt.
The lines,
I lock my feelings in a box
place it high up on a shelf
even my daddy says I never express myself
I wish you the best.
Live a life that’s blessed.
The imagery of locking your feelings in a box tells how you decided to let go of the person you loved and wished your loved one a happy life.
I would also like to highlight that the rain falling in the drain resonated with your feelings which you could never express yourself. Along with the rain falling in the drain is like wasting your time, it almost felt like the falling rain expressed your feelings on your behalf.
Overall, I felt that the rain and emotions of the author resonated each other; I could see the author's loud and hurt mind but calm on the outside. Because of this comparison, I feel that it made this poem delicate, beautiful yet sad at the very same time.
Thank you for this wonderful piece. I hope the author feels okay after expressing feelings through this beautiful poem.
Hope you have a great day!
It's a rainy day in April for me too. The irony made me click on the title as well as the fact that this is featured. Let's get into my review.
What did I love about it? For starters, the full circle moment of repetition from the beginning lines to the end. Secondly, I relate to this ten-fold. It's vague enough that anyone can find some semblance of relatability, yet specific enough that there is a thematic tone. Thirdly, the metaphor of the rain and wasting time. Not only can the aspect of watching the rain go down the drain be categorically wasteful of time, but it can also be peaceful or catatonic, depending on the person and who is judging said use of time. Also, the same can be said for the writer's "you". Additionally, rain going down the drain is also wasteful, especially when that water may be used for replenishing the earth. The "you" that is discussed here could be comparable to this, too. Lastly, the rhyming here is *chef's kiss*. Poems and prose do not necessarily have to have rhythm, rhyme, or a "flow". However, this does each masterfully.
What needs improved? Not a thing! This is *wordery* (words + wizardry). Thank you for sharing such a great piece!
Hello, I am just here to say, this is a really nice poem! Keep it up
Hi names 22Midnight
hope your doing well, let's get into it!
First Impression to me from the title it might be a poem about how wonderful the rain is and how it can sometimes help you wash away your grief.
these first two lines are so beautifully written and then to add the last line two it just made me really sad
I really feel like this is showing a lot of pain and grief in a person that's been hurt so badly by someone but still wants the best for them because there a nice person, and just because someone else broke them doesn't mean there going to wish bad things on that person who hurt them.
Loved these last lines defiantly showing pain and loss but trying to still be a nice person and search for the best in someone that's just really horrible.
Overall altogether even though the poem was short it was wonderfully written, honestly i think it deserves more likes
anyway that's it from me
hope you have a great dawn/dusk/midnight
See Ya
My Interpretation:You are sitting there, depressed, watching the rain. Mourning for your efforts of trying to understand and work with someone. You blame yourself for hiding your feelings in the first place. You wish this person a blessed life, then as you watch the tears of emotion fall and slip down the drain, you are filled with regret and frustration for wasting your time trying to make sense of them in the first place.
My thoughts: This is filled with conflicting emotions I think. You are sad and angry, yet kind of blaming yourself at the same time. I like the rain drain rhymes, they make the poem flow kinda
More: I think it can be more smoother if the rhymes were in a pattern.