Beauty is a mindset,
Not diet, exercise and cold sweat.
It is not an end to reach
Even though that's what they preach.
*
Don't hate your weight
Because this is no debate
That society can dictate.
*
Don't stress and obsess,
About the mess
That is you
Don't let them fall through,
The walls of your skin
Don't ever scream "All I ever want to be is thin".
*
A message so crashing,
It is slashing,
The skin of your neck,
"God I'm a wreck"
*
But never mind that
Because you are in combat
Between you and the stars
With all your freckles and scars
*
You are beauty and grace
And so much more to interlace.
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140,113 Literary Works • 673,017 Reviews
Hey there! Eli here for a short lovely review of your piece!
The vibe of the piece is sad and maybe slightly miserable but it brings courage and understanding of the situation someone with body issues goes through. I am sure that each person is familiar with that in their life. They have passed through it or they are still in it, one day in their life they felt not good enough or not put in good enough body. Which is a matter that will forever need to be discussed because it is one endless struggle for all of us.
Usually I have problems with rhymes when they come in each line but the two for two rhyming method seems to be great in this poetry. The rhymes are not forced or meaningless. They actually make sense and it shows the writer thought about it instead of just writing the first word that rhymes, without caring for the exact concept of it.
The only issue I am having with this piece is that the balance is not stable. Which is shown in the amount of lines you are having in each part. They are not equal to each other and it might break the flow. I think you start well with the four lines each part method with bring me a great setting.
Keep on writing!
Thanks for this review! You are so nice!! I'm glad you liked it! Body image is something I think everyone struggles with and so I wanted to make something of it.
Welcome! I am just honest and all of that jazz. Keep up the good work!
That was really good. You've got a knack for describing simple and painful truths in a straightforward manner, not under the disguise of elaborate imageries which can take a lot of time to decipher and understand. Despite this, your poem succeeded in conjuring up various images in my head, and the right ones to accompany the message behind this poem.
I would just like to point out that the format looks quite off balance. 6 lines, 2 lines, 3 lines, 4 lines - you've got paragraphs of such varying lengths that it gives a cluttered effect to the poem. Obviously content is the king, but when someone sees a format like this it leaves a bad effect somewhere in the mind even after being satisfied with the content. Also, in the second para, the third line though rhyming with the second one leaves a kind of opening there for a fourth one (ok weight rhymes with debate, dictate rhymes with...?).
That said, formatting and structuring are things that can be easily learned and edited. I would like to congratulate you on the brilliant use of words here. That is something hard to get. Keep writing. All the best.
Thanks for the review!
Hey! Dogs here to review!
I can so relate to having "body issues" and I can so relate to this poem.
First off let me start by saying I really liked this poem and found it very inspiring.
Rhyming ~ So you rhymed at every end word (if that made any sense) for example.
Combat rhymed with that
Stars rhymed with scars.
Rhyming with every line like this can sometimes be hard and I know I have a lot of trouble doing it (but we are not talking about me now are we...? XD) but you did an amazing job with it! This is some of the best rhyming I've ever seen when reading poetry and I read a lot of poetry (you don't even know).
Rhythm ~ When you have a poem that rhymes you have to have rhythm in your poem. Without the rhythm the flow could get messed up and so could a lot of things such as the rhymes themselves. (If that makes any sense at all). You had amazing rhythm which is why I think the rhymes were so good as well.
As for grammar and spelling you did a good job. Not many issues there since in poetry you can make it your own and make it look however you want for the most part.
Now onto the good part of the review!
I'm glad to finally read a poem about inner and outer beauty. Beauty is found on the inside and it doesn't really matter what you look like on the outside, which was the message or theme of this poem. I thought you did a good job following along with your theme throughout this poem which is something I really liked.
I'm also glad this poem was short. It was short and sweet. Sometimes when poems are too long they get hard to follow, could lose rhythm and flow, as well as start not following the topic, theme, or message. (No, I'm not saying all long poems are like this, just a lot of them that I've read are...)
I'm so, so grateful that you wrote this poem. I think this poem will help a ton of readers and other people realize that they don't have to be beautiful on the outside and that beauty is found on the inside!
Once again I really enjoyed reading this poem, and hope I can read more works from you in the future!
Keep up the great writing,
Love,
Dogs
Hey thanks for this! I was having a bad day and you just made it a lot better! I'm glad you liked it!
Aww! Glad I made your day better! I always love being able to cheer friends up!
I'm so very grateful and happy that other understand the body issues going on today. The rhyming was smooth and had something of a song feel to it. Good job on that.
But what I don't like is that there aren't any stanzas or indents. Those are always a plus to have when writing a poem with this good of rhyming, or for any poem in general. In my opinion, I don't really like how you put it in the center. I personally prefer it to be on the left, but do what you want.
Overall, this is one of the better poems I've seen in a while. You picked a fragile topic, the rhyming is on point, and I didn't see no grammar or punctuation mistakes. Great job, make sure to keep writing!
Thanks for the review!!
I'm glad you liked it!!
I'm so glad other people realize that about beauty. I believe too much today that the world looks on your outter appearace to judge your beauty. I strongly believe beauty I inside someone. If someone has love, kindness, charity, understanding in their life that's what makes them beautiful. I am not a poet so I love how you put thsoe words together and where you put your spaces they give good effects to the flow, wow I sound so stupid trying to phrase that right, but anyway I hope you get what I mean.
You don't sound stupid!! I perfectly get it! Hahaha! Thanks for the review!
Hey there! Shey here for a review!
I'll start this off by saying that I enjoyed this poem because of its message and way of delivering it. You stated said message in a simple but effective way, and it showed that you put a lot of thought into how to do that.
I'm also a fan of the rhyming, seeing as getting a good and effective rhyme is always difficult. Often someone can ruin their poem when they try and rhyme, but your poem only benefited from it.
The mix of rhyme and rhythm put together have this piece a very "rap" feel. I could hear someone rapping this. You categorized this as lyrical, so it's possible you intended for this to be rap-like, but maybe I'm leading too into this.
The only thing I'm not a fan of is the formatting. Firstly, there aren't any stanzas, and with the rhyme scheme you have, stanzas are always a plus. You also don't have any indents or the like, which I think would help when showing what to accent. You only have one formatting feature, which is centering it, and I'm honestly not a big fan of that. I think personally it'll more aesthetically pleasing on the right. It's up to you.
Overall, great poem/rap/song thing! Hope my review was even slightly helpful! Keep writing!
Hey thanks! It definitely helped! What do you suggest for the formatting?
Nothing too complicated, but everything on the right. Have certain lines or phrases which you feel deserve emphasis or are important centered or to the left, and maybe throw in some italics.
Also, glad to help!