Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
Hoo boy. This is prolly the first PC game that I played a lot of, back in my tweens. It's easy to get absorbed in designing, colour-coordinating, and micromanaging these little, little lives.
You make one, you make another to play with while the first one is at work, you make some children to see what their facial features look like when you smush them together, you micromanage the child, you make a dog, screencap the disgusting glitches, buy the goddamned DLCs, make another sim to keep them company, make another sim to match the curtains.
I reinstalled the Sims 3 last year, and played it only twice, spending an hour per sim in Create a Sim, maybe another hour colour-coordinating the house, then a few minutes making them binge study and get jobs.
Installing the game took roughly the same amount of time as all that put together.
(For that reason, I have not uninstalled the game, for despite the fact that I hope to God I never play it again, if I do, I don't want to have all that extra time to spend thinking about it.)
The Sims, I suppose, is no more a waste of time than anything else is, but the Sims is special, in that it makes you feel the existential dread that most other time sponges are able to drown out, as your sims do their homework, get promotions, look after their children, do taxes, make the children match the curtains, colour the swimming pool tiles red to make the water look red because you're an edgy tween who didn't have the Supernatural DLC but still wanted to pretend your sims were vampires- what was I saying?
Watch your sims become forensic scientists right out of high school, the goddamn gifted little fuckers, why can't I be a forensic scientist?
My point is, the Sims, depending on your point of view, is either a curse that drains you of the time you could be spending on being productive in your own life, giving you momentary highs of gratification that you prolong for as long as possible because you know as soon as its over you are left only with a slightly more ingrained sense of self-loathing than you were before, and are filled with the desire to go do things that make you hate yourself in more productive ways, at the very least.
OR. Or this game is a lesson, designed to beat you into wanting to stop playing it, so you can go walk the dog, or become a forensic scientist or something.
If that is indeed the case, then my compliments on the find-the-item loading screens, the Origin program, the loading screens that go most of the way and stay there until you satisfy it with a blood sacrifice, the constant badgering to register your game online, and the microtransaction advertisements that clog up my beloved sim-editing and house-editing menus.
Never before have I felt more motivated to turn off my laptop and clean up the entire house.
No, my real house. My real house that I live in, with my real relatives, that have mild hoarding problems.
Thank you, EA. You helped make me the hard worker that I am today.
Play this game, if you must, just remember- Ambitions and Supernatural are the only add-ons that are worth the bother (unless you need some screencaps for your creepypasta, in which case, get Pets), try to come out of this with the USEFUL type of self loathing, and remember to exorcise your poor obese hard drive as soon as you regain your strength of will.
And don't for the love of God get any of your friends or family into it. This is a test, for which you may come out stronger, but there's no guarantee that your loved ones will.