z

Young Writers Society



Untitled

by Shine


I was just bored so thought of writing just any thing and posting it.

You write…
What you think,

You think…
what you see,

You see…
what you feel,

That’s what we say
You write your feelings.


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Sat May 26, 2007 10:10 am
Shine says...



hehee...ya poetry is weird!




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Fri May 18, 2007 11:32 pm
theron guard wrote a review...



Random, and kind of weird. I really had no meaning, but sometimes that is what poetry is. :? :)




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Mon Mar 26, 2007 6:20 pm
Shine says...



Thanx Shadow!


Thanx chocolatechipmuffin...mmmm may be i got carried away too.




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Mon Feb 26, 2007 11:21 pm
chocolatechipmuffin wrote a review...



It had a nice flow and feel, but...it needed more meaning. With a little work, you could get some emotion into it, but right now, it's just a nice-sounding set of slightly disjointed phrases. Okay, I take that back. Not disjointed, just...
It felt like you had a point to make but you got caught up in the rhythm and flow, and abandoned your point on the side of the road, in the cold and the rain, to watch you speed away and...sorry. I got carried away. :D




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Mon Feb 26, 2007 6:42 pm
Shadow120 says...



I prefer poems like this. With an original kind of structure. Short and snappy, too.

x




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Sun Jan 21, 2007 10:19 am
Sohini says...



you definately were bored...i can tell.

anyway, this is a fairly nice poem.




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Sat Jan 20, 2007 9:46 am
Shine says...



glad that you think it works well.:)

Thank you to all.




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Mon Jan 08, 2007 7:14 pm
miyaviloves wrote a review...



Hmm true it didnt mean much and it didnt really make sense, but maybe thats the simplicity of it, of course it would be nice to know what something is really about but this is so short and simple i think it works very well.

Keep up the good work.

Miyaviloves




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Mon Jan 01, 2007 6:34 am
Emerson says...



the only part that made sense was the first stanza. You think what you see, doesn't make sense. And I see what I feel? No, not that either.

Though I certainly write what I think.

And right now, I think it was worked a little backwards.




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Sat Dec 30, 2006 3:04 pm
misspriss wrote a review...



You write…
What you think,

You think…
what you see,

You see…
what you feel,

That’s what we say
You write your feelings.


This word makes almost no sense whatsoever. Did you mean to say when? Also, this really doesn't have much of a meaning...




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Sat Dec 30, 2006 11:21 am
Swires says...



A little random and it didnt really have any meaning to it.





On some days, my will to write disappears faster than a donut at a police station.
— Arcticus