Untitled

by Shine

Published December 30, 2006

In poems

I was just bored so thought of writing just any thing and posting it.

You write…
What you think,

You think…
what you see,

You see…
what you feel,

That’s what we say
You write your feelings.

Comments & reviews · 13
User avatar
Shine
Comment
Shine commented Comment · May 26, 2007

hehee...ya poetry is weird!

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theron guard
Review
theron guard wrote a review Review · May 18, 2007

Random, and kind of weird. I really had no meaning, but sometimes that is what poetry is. :? :)

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Shine
Comment
Shine commented Comment · Mar 26, 2007

Thanx Shadow!


Thanx chocolatechipmuffin...mmmm may be i got carried away too.

chocolatechipmuffin wrote a review Review · Feb 26, 2007

It had a nice flow and feel, but...it needed more meaning. With a little work, you could get some emotion into it, but right now, it's just a nice-sounding set of slightly disjointed phrases. Okay, I take that back. Not disjointed, just...
It felt like you had a point to make but you got caught up in the rhythm and flow, and abandoned your point on the side of the road, in the cold and the rain, to watch you speed away and...sorry. I got carried away. :D

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Shadow120
Comment
Shadow120 commented Comment · Feb 26, 2007

I prefer poems like this. With an original kind of structure. Short and snappy, too.

x

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Shine
Comment
Shine commented Comment · Feb 20, 2007

Thanx!

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Sohini
Comment
Sohini commented Comment · Jan 21, 2007

you definately were bored...i can tell.

anyway, this is a fairly nice poem.

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Shine
Comment
Shine commented Comment · Jan 20, 2007

glad that you think it works well.:)

Thank you to all.

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miyaviloves
Review
miyaviloves wrote a review Review · Jan 8, 2007

Hmm true it didnt mean much and it didnt really make sense, but maybe thats the simplicity of it, of course it would be nice to know what something is really about but this is so short and simple i think it works very well.

Keep up the good work.

Miyaviloves

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Emerson
Comment
Emerson commented Comment · Jan 1, 2007

the only part that made sense was the first stanza. You think what you see, doesn't make sense. And I see what I feel? No, not that either.

Though I certainly write what I think.

And right now, I think it was worked a little backwards.

Random avatar
misspriss
Review
misspriss wrote a review Review · Dec 30, 2006

You write…
What you think,

You think…
what you see,

You see…
what you feel,

That’s what we say
You write your feelings.


This word makes almost no sense whatsoever. Did you mean to say when? Also, this really doesn't have much of a meaning...

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Swires
Comment
Swires commented Comment · Dec 30, 2006

A little random and it didnt really have any meaning to it.



You sound like you're becoming emotionally involved with the custard.
— Nikki Morgan