hehee...ya poetry is weird!
z
I was just bored so thought of writing just any thing and posting it.
You write…
What you think,
You think…
what you see,
You see…
what you feel,
That’s what we say
You write your feelings.
Random, and kind of weird. I really had no meaning, but sometimes that is what poetry is.
It had a nice flow and feel, but...it needed more meaning. With a little work, you could get some emotion into it, but right now, it's just a nice-sounding set of slightly disjointed phrases. Okay, I take that back. Not disjointed, just...
It felt like you had a point to make but you got caught up in the rhythm and flow, and abandoned your point on the side of the road, in the cold and the rain, to watch you speed away and...sorry. I got carried away.
I prefer poems like this. With an original kind of structure. Short and snappy, too.
x
Hmm true it didnt mean much and it didnt really make sense, but maybe thats the simplicity of it, of course it would be nice to know what something is really about but this is so short and simple i think it works very well.
Keep up the good work.
Miyaviloves
the only part that made sense was the first stanza. You think what you see, doesn't make sense. And I see what I feel? No, not that either.
Though I certainly write what I think.
And right now, I think it was worked a little backwards.
You write…
What you think,
You think…
what you see,
You see…
what you feel,
That’s what we say
You write your feelings.
This word makes almost no sense whatsoever. Did you mean to say when? Also, this really doesn't have much of a meaning...
Points: 1125
Reviews: 368
Donate