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fear in Red Underline

by Seirre

A/N - all capitalization, punctuation, and spelling errors are on purpose, I promise! 


Text version:


I told you I collect irrational fears like marbles in a jar
(balanced only half on the edge of my dresser, waiting to skydive off
And rattle onto the floor like all my shaking bones)
And i do. it’s easy to talk about irrational fears -
The way i can wear them like a fashionable boa scarf
that i’m always half-expecting to constrict - bright, colourful, clownish, really -
And so easy to look at. We can use them to play a game of marbles
for all i care; I’ll invite you to point fingers at them, as they roll
with groundless paranioa, and i will do the same. But i don’t tell you
about my rational fears,
Because they are not something to look at. they are a broken piggy bank    

Without the coins; what is there to say except i’ m sorry you were robbed
And what is there to do except roll your eyes at the child
behind her back (while you rub circles into her back).
This is why i sweep up the shardsof a ceramic pig behind closed doors,
and This is why i never say my rational fears, the ones that start im afraid
And end i don’t know what to do. try this out for size: i’m afrid i ‘m wasting the best years
Of my life on hating myself. Or i’m afrad of forgetting about my friends
when we’ve all moved away and grown pu As if we’ll never mean anything
to the future. I’m afraid that i will never know were to put my energy
And i will waste it like dimes from my piggy bank just so there’s nothing left to lose
When it invariably fals apart. i’m afraid i will not invest in building a better one,
Because i will not think i deserve it. I’m afraid I spend too much time
O nfears.
i’m afrraid i don’t know what else to do.

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462 Reviews

Points: 121
Reviews: 462

Sun Oct 23, 2022 3:43 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...

Whoa. I really liked this poem and the intentional errors. :0 It shows that the narrator isn’t thinking clearly. Their mind is in a haze of fear and desperation. And sometimes the poem gets interrupted with pleas of “I’m afraid” to show that fear will always seep through the cracks of thought. Irrational fears are more comfortable to talk about than rational ones because they are irrational. They can be paraded around, which is why many speak of them…

I wish you a lovely day/night.

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1137 Reviews

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Reviews: 1137

Mon Sep 19, 2022 3:48 am
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lliyah says...

A comment for the comment bonanza ~

Oh! love the contrast between rational / irrational fears as that's not one I would have really thought to explore or consider. Especially the anxiety of growing up and losing track of friends is one I think a lot of people will resonate with.

The poem reads a little "stream of consciousness" maybe in how the multiple images are laced together which I think goes with the fear motif well as the poem seems very "internal monologue" / brooding. One idea for a future spin-off maybe - > I was half expecting the words in red / blue underlines to spell out their own secret message / reveal a single statement when put together - that might be something new to add in new years.

Another nice Seirre poem tackling some imagery I haven't seen in your work before I don't think! <3 Lovely work!

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23 Reviews

Points: 143
Reviews: 23

Sun Sep 11, 2022 6:30 pm
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VintageGirl wrote a review...

Hello, VintageGirl here for a quick review.

I love this poem. I relate to it so much, but I don't know how to say exactly what I feel. It stuck in my chest, and I had to sit for a little and digest it. The little grammar and spelling mistakes are perfect. It creates a little narrative about the creation of the poem. I have no idea if this is what you meant, but it gives it the effect of being written in a rush. The spelling cannot be dwelled on because it is the meaning that counts. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it feels raw. Great job! I love poems that are more than the words.

I can't think of any suggestions at the moment! This hit too close to home and was physically painful to read, but it's a good poem!

Keep writing,

Seirre says...

Thanks for the review, VintageGirl! Raw was definitely what I was going for, so I'm glad that's how it felt to you while you were reading.

It creates a little narrative about the creation of the poem.

You're totally right about this, actually! I was having a bit of a writer's block, so I decided to set my font colour to white and just write so that I couldn't go back and edit it or try to perfect it while I was writing. The result was a lottt of typos (many of which I corrected), and I liked the effect so I decided to keep some!

"For a short space of time I remained at the window watching the pallid lightnings that played above Mont Blanc and listening to the rushing of the Arve, which pursued its noise way beneath. The same lulling sounds acted as a lullaby to my too keen sensations; when I placed my head upon my pillow, sleep crept over me; I felt it as it came and blessed the giver of oblivion."
— Mary Shelley, Frankenstein