Little Wind-Roses

Hello! I really enjoyed your poem-it had great imagery and used personification (I like personification). I like the way the wind-roses' (as Deanie said) are very much like us human's. To be honest I think your rhyming scheme is good-better than mine and it didn't seem that forced so yeah.

I can't really find any obvious flaws let alone more subtle ones-it's a good poem!

The flowers have feelings-I like it!

Well done!

Thank you!

tiggpanda145

Hi Sapi. Deanie here,

First off, I really liked the message here in the poem. It was a beautiful little story about the wind-roses, and even if we think about it I suppose it can also relate to how people are. Some cluster together and stay closed and ignorant of what happens on the outside. But there are those few flowers who bloom and show the world what they're made of. I liked it.

There are no obvious mistakes or anything in your writing. But I think that sometimes the rhyming scheme was a little bit forced. I might of liked it more if it didn't rhyme. This is because sometimes you unbalanced the syllable levels to make sure the sentence made sense whilst rhyming. I think the rhyming should either be taken out, or you work hard to make the rhyming and the flow work together. I know rhyming is hard, I've had a lot of difficulty before, and it takes a lot of tries. But once you get it right, it's beautiful. I think you just need to get there

I really liked it, and want to read more of your poetry. Keep it up, and keep up the beautiful descriptions.

Deanie x

Hey Sapi, thought I'd review your work since you were so encouraging on review day!

It wa a very cute poem! One definate chane I feel would make it better though is in the last line of the whole poem, take out the first two words. To me saying "that child" felt just a little ...strange? I loved everything else though and nice grammer and punctuation there. I've never heard of wind roses and this poem left a lot of questions.Like why is one all alone on the hill?

Overall very elegantly executed and nice flow and idea. cute >.<

~Kat

Hey what a good poem! It's creative and interesting!
And I wanted to say that it's cool that you are writing about nature!

It was neat-o (I'm a dork by writing neat-o haha) how you wrote about the flower as if having a mother and personality's and things like that!

I loved how you wrote, ''Her face bright and opened wide'' It conveyed it like it had feelings and such....

Well, hope to see more of your work soon!

-Neonmask.