Young Writers Society

Hello, Sapi! I have arrived to write a fellow review for you!

While reading, I noticed you only mentioned something about fire once. That really confuses me thanks to the title. Maybe something else related to the rest of the poem would make more sense.

I'll be going stanza to stanza!

fire

lamp

I can't see my feet

red

orange

dancing on the street

scream

stand

I think she is dead

pain

pain

it hurts in my head.

This is a really short poem and i dont think this could exactly be called a poem
Yeah , you did use rhyming words but in a poem the format of rhyming words is usually
X
Y
X
Y
OR
X
X
Y
Y
Maybe you could add more words and make this poem a bit more interesting
Yeah the language and all is easy to understand.

It's a very short poem, but the length leaves me wanting more. The poem is really in the zone, right on point, so it's eay for th e reader to understand straight away what you're trying to convey and where you are coming from. The ryhming is good. as i said at the beginning, i think that you should add more adventurous language in the poem, so it doesn't leave the reader unfufilled.

Hmm...Normally I just go from stanza to stanza, but as I am running out of time, this is all I can do:

So, this is interesting, but I feel like there are a few inconsistency's. One of them being the fact that you start with "I can't see my feet" and then the very next stanza go to "dancing on the street." It is important to acknowledge that no matter the type of writing you are writing the way it plays out is important. To me poetry still should have meaning and I think this does, it has some meaning that I just am not getting at this moment. And I think the meaning would be brought forth if you had written it a bit differently. "Scream, stand, I think she is dead" Again I am not sure how it connects, yet I am also not sure what you are trying to say. And I wonder what these type of poems are telling? (This is the first time I've seen a poem like this.)

So overall, I am just not sure the story that is being told, nor have I seen this type of poetry before, but I think that each stanza is too different and perhaps if you had written more stanzas it would have been more understandable.

But then again in just it's art form alone this was really interesting and in a good way. Maybe I just don't get it.

But good try on this one

--Dream on!!

This is interesting.


I like the second verse, its really cool.


I would like it if you added more to it, I feel it needs just a tad more, ya know?

It'd be a good start to a story, or a chain of poems.

I can't think of much to say besides that. I love this poem, and hope to hear more.

Thanks,

pegasusgirl2

wow. As usual, your poetry takes me to a new place. It moves me. And again, I am amazed at how you use c=barely any words and can still move your reader. I really don't have anything to criticize! Sapi, you don't only just love to write, you were BORN to write <3


Thanks for reading until here <3

~Belle

Okay, I love the rhythm of this poem, and the rhyming structure used. It has very good flow to it, and the rhymes blend very well with each other. However, I admit I am a little confused as to the plot in this poem.
The first two sections are good, although the "I can't see my feet." doesn't really make sense to me. If there's a fire, you should be able to see, shouldn't you? The next section is easily my favorite, and the one that makes the most sense.
I think I understand the rest of the work, I'm just a little unsure. Is the author informing us that someone he/she cares about has died in the fire and it hurts, or the fire has hurt the author?
I think that while it is pretty good, you could still use some clarification to make the plot more clear to the reader.

Good job!

I guess I'm a little narrow minded. I don't think I totally understood the point of the poem. Nice and short though and what I got out of it was very interesting. No offene though, you seriously lacked punctuation. "scream

stand

I think she is dead



pain

pain

it hurts in my head."

should be
"Scream,

Stand,

I think she is dead, (or a period here)



Pain,

Pain,

It hurts in my head."

I really loved the poem overall though and it's super epic for something you don't do often

Keep it up
~Speakerskat

This was a really simple poem, yet it was really powerful. The way you wrote it out put emphasis on all the best words and made you really slow down to read it. I thought the emotion was really evident, and I really liked this poem. you should try writing poetry more often, I thought this turned out well.