Published April 13, 2026
I Dwindle And Dwell
In The Hell
Of Life
Caught Under A Rug
I Wonder, Could I Feel More
More In Control
Of My Soul
I Feel Like It's Drifting In The Tale
And Something Is Taking A Toll
No Luck For Avail
I Feel Like Heavens Far Away
My Hopes Of Reaching Run Pale
As If In Everything I Do, I Seem To Fail
Like Bread In The Sun
With Discomfort And Disdain I Am Stale
Hardened Yet Fragile In My Shell
Trying To Hide From The World
Because I Can't Change Who I am
And I Fear They Need Me To, If Not Just Want
But Me I See The State Of The Worldly
And See We Live Problematically
All Because We Don't Understand
That When We Don't Listen Clearly To One Another With Tolerance And Even A Shread Of Understanding
It's Each Other We Misunderstand
With Where In Life We Stand
Trying To Change And Reshape Each Other
Making Each Other Fit In This Box
Of Assortment Being Sorted To Fit In A Curtain Way
Where We Have To Fight And Struggle For Approval
And If Our Clocks Don't Synchronize
It's Removal Or Forsaking
And Today's Life Is Commercial
Commerce Essential
When We Really Explore It, Sometimes It's Nothing Official
But Just Artificial
When I Really Look At It, I Wonder The Point That's So Essential
Beyond Maybe Just Stealing The Potential Of Credentials
Taking People Souls With Their Need And Desire For Interest And Enthusiasm And Convenience - Human Exploits
Like It's So Special
Yes It Is Special
Especially If You're Somebody Rich Or Getting Rich
While You The Broke And Broken Are Still Waiting
Patient For An Inch
Of That Little Bit Of Money Just To Shake An Itch
Living The Way We Do
Always Trying To Escape A Cringe
But It's Like A Show, I Just Watch And Binge
And Be A Part Of The Cast
If I'm Dumb And Board Enough To Play
And Be Played
Just To Feel Better About Who I Am Or At Least Try
Before Somebody Gets The Best Of Me
I Can't Lie
I Sometime Feel It Would Be Easier If I'd Die
I Live On Writing
Writing In The Break Of Dawn
I Am A Pawn
I'm Hoping With Every Waking Respawn
That What I Live On
Will Make Me Strong As A Knight
And Wise As A Bishop
And Fortified As Rooks
Till The Day I Find My Queen
And Someday Stand King.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,273 Literary Works • 672,523 Reviews
Hia!
It’s the “not just want” that… makes it feel weird. The next line is no help. Guess we invented capitalization and punctuation to make these more clear but it’s part of the poem to be obscure 😊I see so many words capitalized and my German heart flutters :3
In this case, it kinda blurs where the emphasis goes making every word feel like staccato!
I like this metaphor of the bread: “With Discomfort And Disdain I Am Stale “ that while bread turns stale in sun, we do that with Discomfort in Disdain. I wonder if this puts the sun on the same step as these negative emotions…
I had to read these serval times and I am still unsure if I actually get the correct meaning from these lines:
Oh that is such a good one: Using the clocks as a symbol for not being on the same page, not being able to understand each other!
That is also an interesting sentiment: “And Be A Part Of The Cast “ That you binge watch your own life while also being a part of the show, makes me think of the phrase “wasting your life away”
I like the closing statement abt the chess pieces!
Join the fight! Write more reviews!
Hi, Dragonight here. This is the first time I've seen one of your works in the green room so I thought I'd give it a read.
I think you meant to say "Or At-least Try" in the first paragraph here.My first comment is that this style of poetry is one I thoroughly enjoy. You tell a good story with lots of metaphor, commentary on life and analysis of the day to day struggle of living.
I must say the structure and flow of the story were amazing. If there were any critiques to be found I could only see two potential ones. Both are near the end of the story.
I think it was "In The Break Of Dawn"
Other than those minor spelling mistakes, I couldn't find anything to critique!
If I had to choose a favorite part, this would be it.
I feel like we all try to reach heaven (whether it be actual heaven or simply some achievement or status) through our own effort, by ourselves. But we eventually need to learn how to trust others and trust God to achieve joy and peace. Or as you so eloquently put it, to live strong, wise, secure, as a king.
May blazing dragon-fire light your path and ignite the flames of your inspiration.