I lay next to him, staring at the perfect, masculine concave of his torso. The sand is cool against my naked hip and the lukewarm water laps at my feet. I stroke the muscles of his back, my fingers turning silver—thanks to the full moon—as they curve around his waist.
“Six days,” I whisper.
There’s no answer but the soft applause of water against sand. My hand traces the curve of his hip, his thigh. My thumb brushes coarse hair and I hear a ragged intake of breath. I slide my arm over his front and snuggle close to him.
“We’ve known each other six days,”
“Do you count the number of days since you’ve met your lover when you have sex with him?” I feel the reverbrating of his ribs as he murmurs the question.
I chuckle, “No. I—I just haven’t fallen this hard since…ever.”
This time, he’s the one to express amusement. He turns over to face me and I press myself against him, desperate for his warmth, his comfort.
Against the insults that will surely come.
“They don’t know about me,” I confess against the column of his throat. I dare to peer up at his probing blue eyes. “About my attraction to the same sex.”
His eyes spark, “I’m the only one who knows,” Not a question. A statement.
I correct him, “Lily knows. I told her when I graduated two months ago.”
“From high school?” he asks. I nod.
He swears, the curse echoing across the beach. “You’re younger than I thought.”
“I’m not naïve, Andres,” I tell him. “I’m far from innocent,”
A sigh, a whispered, “I wish you weren’t.” Then his lips pucker against mine, as soft as the water is wetting my skin. My drowsiness appears in that instant and I roll him on his back, already feeling his arousal against my belly.
We lose ourselves in an electrifying kiss and I sigh as he pulls me closer, drowning myself in the passion.
Wanting this intimacy to last forever.
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139,398 Literary Works • 672,547 Reviews
I liked this. Maybe it was just me but I found it obvious that it was a same-sex paring. It was sensitive and done in a mature manner. The grammar was all correct and the structure seemed good. The only thing I would say is maybe give the characters a bit more description. Not the sex of the character, but rather the thoughts. Make it rich in detail and maybe have a stream of consciousness going on somewhere in there - right at the beginning in italics maybe? Otherwise, it was really nice. I look forward to reading some more of your work in the future. Keep writing.
Hayley.
This is the third story, i think, that I have read on here that it is brilliant. It made me feel like crying, a lot of the romantic short stories I have read on here have made me feel that way. Your writing is very good. I wish to read more of this, please.
Very nicely written I must say. Your words flowed and weren't a mess so the piece really worked. Keep writing you really are good.
Hello!
After reading your story I wasn't confused at all! In some of the other reviews people said that they didn't know if the narrator was a boy or a girl but I think you were very clear from the start that it was boy without being too obvious. The phrasing is very lyrical and it is artfully written without being vulgar. I can't think of any giant mistakes to point out. Kudos!
Jess
I really like this piece. I think you got the whole moral concept of love and affection across to your readers.
I'm very proud of this piece and I think you should write more:
I found nothing wrong with this piece, and I really think that you did a great job to describe the scene and the feelings running between the lovers.
Why doesn't anyone know about the character being gay?
Does he regret it?
Is this just a horomonal phase for the character? -- those are the kinds of questions I'm wondering.
Also, try to give your character a name.
those are just suggestions, you dont have to take them.
keep writing! --Ash
Hm... I wonder how old Andres is, if he thinks the main character is really young.
Anyway, I really liked this story; it was short, and it was very sweet.
That's real love, I think -six days and the happy couple is already like that!
Wow, i really liked this story. The imagery was great, very subtle yet effective. However i don't think you should of given us the narrator's name, this way it's a little more mysterious. I do get the general sense that it's a guy when throughtout he describes the partner being a male and then saying about him liking the same sex. So i do hope you continue with the good work.
I really don't think that you should make it more obvious that its a guy or mention his name. I think its obvious to the people who are actually paying attention and i think it would lose some of its subtlety if you changed it. Seeing as this is the first part to the story (I'm presuming?) I'm sure that you will make it more obvious as the story progresses but for now i think that its fine the way it is. More than fine, its great, i really liked it
i will be looking forward to reading more in the future 
I can't really find anything wrong with it besides you not mentioning the main character's gender. it's a little confusing if you're not paying close attention to the words you're reading so i think you should do something about that. I loved it, it's a really interesting story and the vivid descriptions of how the character was feeling at the moment was great. Keep it up!
Wow! This was really amazing.
This is great! The only thing that I can find wrong with it is that you don't give your narrator a name. If you gave him a name, this story would be over-the-top amazing!
Ross! This was excellent! So beautiful! I started to cry a bit lol! I love it!
shit that was good, pretty much sums up my speachless expression right now.
the links between description and talking were effectless, creating a really good flow throughout the peice.
the use of sexulaity and arousal is adult not at all course, very suble and effective.
the one thing i would say is the paragraphing, i dont get wht the big spaces are for?
i really would read more of this, it impecable and i want to know what happens after this scene
very good writing
hmmm i got quite a clear view of him bein a guy, but maybe you should mention his name then just to make it that extra bit clearer. Btw i hav noticed that you like the name Andres lol you've used it in another of your great stories. Anyway, good storyline and correct grammer from what i can see, it's good.
Ok. I was just told by DW that there is no rule about this stuff. I guess I was wrong. Sorry.
Anyway, DW just informed me that it's a "he" not a "she." You're not clear about this. To me, it sounds like it's a girl talking with a boy that she likes but only he and one of her friends knows... So try to do something that makes sure we realize that it's a BOY talking. Maybe have Andres call him by name or something.
Alex
This is great! I can't really find anything wrong with it. I like that you suddenly hit us that she's homosexual at the end but um... Isn't there a rule on YWS about this kind of thing? I don't really remember. But otherwise, it's great!
Alex