Young Writers Society

awesome story luv it

Great again!!!!!!! You impress me each time!

But one mistake I found

Yes, and I’m redeeming it now. I’m homosexual again. Those friends can just burn in hell.”

I laughed, “Of course! But…I’m wondering why do you love me the way you love me?”

"The wind tousled my hair, swept it in my eyes and across my forehead. The fingers curled around the balcony railing were numb from the chill, yet I refused to go inside. Go inside and lie beside the guy that just kissed me."

That was a nice start. It gave me this relaxed but interested feeling.

I don't have much to say except this was a nice read.
I hope there's more coming, but if not that's fine.

- Summerless

Wow! Great job! I'm not very good at critiquing romances but here a just a few quick suggestions:

1) the ending seemed a little too abrupt with the whole I'm moving to florida thing it's just a little too perfect. I don't know if you can fix that but it just bothered me a little bit
2) I would put a little more action between the dialogue.

Other than that I loved the plot, your characters seem very real to me. It's sad in a bittersweet way because he eventually finds and accepts who he is now. Very good job. Sorry I didn't really have anything concrete to add.

I think that this chapter was needed. It gives the readers a bit of a breather during a story with what I predict to be a very intense pace, and it characterized the characters.

“I didn’t plan on telling you till a week in, but I’m moving to Florida a week after.

And now I had denied him one simple wish benefit to me all because of what I had done.

I vowed never to be like that again.

Holy shit. I did not see that coming. Really really good plot and please keep writing. Please. It wsa a fast-slow pace that was very comfortable. Nice work on that.
When you wrote,'Go inside and lie beside the guy that just kissed me', could you possibly put, Go inside and lie beside the guy that HAD just kissed me? I think it would work better. Excellent job as always. pm me when you get the next chapter.