Young Writers Society

I read chapter 3-5. This is the review for all of them.

Great writing! But I think that it was a bit too fast. They were just looking at the sunset, then they went to a dance club, and the next second, they're in the bedroom, kissing. That's really fast. The cruise was like, 5 days long. So they had plenty of time to build a relationship so.... Think bout it.

Keep up the great work! When you write something new, lemme know.

Alex

lol. i cant help wondering what hes so good at. when does the next chapter come out?

All great but this part

The next second, my eyes were flickering open to sunset and the bedside clock read 8:59 in the evening.

Haha this was cute.
but, it felt like it all happend so quick.
Like, in just a few paragraphs, they were out on the sunset, went to sleep, got up, went to a club and teased about kissing.

There wasn't really any detail or explanation going on.
maybe describe what some people were dancing like, or what steven looked like.
Describe how he felt when steven pulled him so close, like in real detail.

It just felt almost rushed.
it's okay to spend a week or two on your chapters, it's been 2 weeks I think and I'm
only on my fourth page of welcome to miami, and the chapters are going to get up
to around 6-8 pages.


Just don't feel rushed, your writing seems that you are.
it's very cute though.

I didn't see any spelling mistakes or puncuation errors this time around.
good job!

Oh my god. Dude, you are talented. This is one of your best stories yet, but the anticipation of it IS KILLING ME!! 10/10, just because the arguement was funny!

*Good flow.(As Always)
*Fast paced. Very easy to read and it keeps the reader wanting more. That's true!
*Realization of it. We know what's going ot happen, but we don't know what's oing to happen. You know?(hee)


I have no suggestions of how to change, nor make it better, because it is already AWESOME. Keep it up, please and thank you.