Empty Thoughts

Hi, I want to leave a review.

This is a beautiful piece, and it paints a wonderful picture! The title "Empty Thoughts" gives us a first view of what this is about. Reading this can remind the readers, and possibly give them a lesson that everything has to happen. The part where the protagonist quotes "Is there purpose to my pain" paints an elegant picture filled with emotion and questioning.

Anyways, I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day, bye!

I do like this poem very much. Especially the repeated question that is continuously built upon throughout the poem with 2 tragic situations. This poem is also one that many people can perhaps see as relatable. Overall it's just a nice and short poem that is enjoyable to read and one a person can "feel". Good job.

Hey there Rodger! Hope you're hungry because I'm going to serve a review Oreo! Let's start with the first cookie or what I like about this. The repetition from the beginning to the end is a great way to make this flow and feel cohesive. The metaphors and analogies are also really nicely done. Examples that stand out are "to save a sinking ship one not anchored to it's self..." and "like a soldier back from Vietnam."

Here comes the cream or what needs improvement. I only find two things. One, there is a typo "it's self" should be its' self" as it refers to "it is" rather than the possessive. Additionally, the item of a "ship" would be "it." Thus, resulting in the "its' self" being proper grammatically. Secondly, I think there can be a more creative word choice in the second to last stanza. "Night" is repeated twice. Maybe instead of "Having restless nights," it could say "With restless insomnia" or "With restless madness." I prefer there to be no repetition there to make more meaning.

Lastly, let's end with another cookie or my overall impressions of this. I find this to be relatable, and it is a theme that many YSW-ers will have likely experienced. I think it conveys "Empty Thoughts" where we question ourselves in life and allow anxiety, self-doubt, and fear to take hold. This often occurs during those times under the moon when we are wide awake and worried—nicely done! Wishing you well wherever you are in the world. Take what you will and leave out all the rest. With love, ♡a

This was a great poem! I love the question that you are asking...why would be allowed to suffer...for nothing? I look at the world and there is so much suffering right now. Why would we be suffering for no gain or very little gain at all? Why?
There are everlasting piece's of pain that will exist forever, but why suffer when you are gaining nothing from it? I love this poem because it is so simple yet speaks volumes about life, emotions and sadness, among other things.

Keep Writing!