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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Hello!
First things first, I think I haven't slammed the like button that hard in quite a while. There were so many little details that I resonated with in this piece- the VCR is such a quintessential part of my childhood, but so many kids these days have no idea what a VHS tape even is- keep in mind, I'm only in high school. "Kids these days" are a few grades just below me, to be perfectly honest. But I wore out my copy of Blue's Big Musical as a kid- mom had to buy me a new copy after mine broke several times. It's such a relatable topic for people my age, really.
Your visual presentation is very appealing,if maybe a bit scattered about. It works in this case, luckily, but be careful of matching the presentation with the subject matter in the future.
The fragment with "How they could bring a few pictures to life on a TV that was as deep as it was wide." bugs the hell out of me, I will not lie. Actually, there's a couple of those in here. I won't harp on it too much- this is poetry, after all, and poetry's beauty is it's free form glory.
Overall, very well done. I will read more of your poetry in the future.
Keep writing!
*like like like like*
Hey RippleGylf,
I love this. Okay, I love it XD
Actually it got my like a while ago, but it's still in the green room so I'm going to go over it again with this thing called a review.
Okay, so overall, I love how you're working with the words in the structure of a VCR and I love that you actually have the whole poem winding around as the film because it really is fitting that it's there when this poem is talking about just that. I think that's really fitting because it's so symbolic of what's left to come, along with being exactly what the poem needs, showing people what they did, and how they did it in it's own unique way.
I think it's going to be hard to move forward after writing something like this and keep that same flavor thugh because it only really fits in this context. I think one way that you can do it is to continue talking about things that surprise you and go into details like you did in this one. The reason this is so good is because it's really getting into the who-what-where-when-why of the situation, and delves into that point in time without being pretentious because you're using the almighty I, which means that this is your experiences. I think you could probably talk about more unique experiences, because a lot of kids did exactly what you are describing, but you're talking about how your siblings don't remember that, and I think if you included more about your situation in the next poem you write, something about how exactly your speaker fits into the scheme of this family, of this life, then I think you'll be golden. This poem gets away without the specifics because it looks so cool and that outweighs our need for individuality.
So, if you're hurting for a topic, write us a poem about a pet!
If you're not, well, I can't wait to see what you come up with. You're a really good writer, keep using the same voice, and develop it how you want to sound. You've got this.
Aley
Oh my gosh this is brilliant. As soon as I saw the mention of the VCR I recognized the shape. I love it.
Such creative designs to these poems, I love it all! This poem made me chuckle since all my friends are four to eight years older than me and remember things that I don't. I love how you wrote this and the lighthearted feel it has to it. It was fun and yet a bit sad because there are so many things that today's generation of children will not get to experience that we have. Eventually CDs will be phased out along with landline phones, phone books and books as a whole. The next generation won't know about any of these. But bravo on writing this!
Mixed media is a great way to share creative writing! Thank you for this!
Remind me of my grandparent. Cool piece of writing. Old years !!! Short and sweet.
God bless you!!!
nice work and concept but some of the words like vcr and rgb should have been written in full. not all will understand. great piece of work