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Fisherman questions life

by Rinisha


A salty sea air filled the room, and in the distance, the sound of waves could be heard crashing against the shore. The old fisherman lay on his deathbed with his weathered hands folded on his chest. He had spent his whole life at sea, braving rough waters in search of the perfect catch. But now, as he approached the end of his life, he couldn't understand why it had all been so hard.

As he lay there, old memories flew through his mind. He thought of the first time he went to sea with his father and the feeling of pride and joy when he caught his first fish. His father had patted him on the back and said: 'Be proud of yourself Liam.' He was so happy that his father was pleased, because his father was hard to please. After that day, he had spent countless hours on the water, learning all about fishing and the sea. He had faced many challenges over the years, from heavy storms that threatened to sink his boat to long days at sea without any catch. But despite everything, he had persevered and was driven by his love for the sea.

As he looked back on his life, the fisherman could not help but wonder why it all had to be so miserable. He had worked hard, yet faced numerous difficulties. He looked at the sky and begged God for an explanation.

Suddenly, he felt a sense of peace wash over him. It was as if a burden had fallen off his shoulders. He realised that his struggle had made him the person he was today and that he had made a positive impact on those around him. He had provided for his family and contributed to the fishing industry, which was vital to the community as there was a scarcity of chicken and livestock.

With a smile on his face, the fisherman died peacefully. He knew his life's work had been meaningful and was content with the legacy he would leave behind.

His life had been meaningful.


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Fri Apr 14, 2023 11:38 pm
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foxmaster wrote a review...



Hello this is Foxmaster!!!
Whoa, so this was sad, but good! Anyway, let's get started...

A salty sea air filled the room, and in the distance, the sound of waves could be heard crashing against the shore. The old fisherman lay on his deathbed with his weathered hands folded on his chest. He had spent his whole life at sea, braving rough waters in search of the perfect catch. But now, as he approached the end of his life, he couldn't understand why it had all been so hard.

Wait, so I thought that he was dying on a boat, and I had to reread this part to understand it. How did the salty sea air get in the room? Did he live by the ocean?
As he lay there, old memories flew through his mind. He thought of the first time he went to sea with his father and the feeling of pride and joy when he caught his first fish. His father had patted him on the back and said: 'Be proud of yourself Liam.' He was so happy that his father was pleased, because his father was hard to please. After that day, he had spent countless hours on the water, learning all about fishing and the sea. He had faced many challenges over the years, from heavy storms that threatened to sink his boat to long days at sea without any catch. But despite everything, he had persevered and was driven by his love for the sea.

ooookay so I thought that the dad was hard to please... the next part kind of fights against that comment because the dad doesn't seem very hard to please.
As he looked back on his life, the fisherman could not help but wonder why it all had to be so miserable. He had worked hard, yet faced numerous difficulties. He looked at the sky and begged God for an explanation.

Suddenly, he felt a sense of peace wash over him. It was as if a burden had fallen off his shoulders. He realised that his struggle had made him the person he was today and that he had made a positive impact on those around him. He had provided for his family and contributed to the fishing industry, which was vital to the community as there was a scarcity of chicken and livestock.

I feel like this part was kind of rushed here when he suddenly dies. Also, did he beg god before he was dying, or while he was dying? Also, I don't really understand the part where it was all so hard, because if even he liked the sea, wouldn't he have quit?
That's all! This was great! Sad, but really meaningful!
-Foxmaster




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Thu Apr 13, 2023 7:33 am
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: This was such a short and simple tale but despite being this small, I think it manages to hit us with a really powerful plot and you actually have quite a few things to just reflect on and remember after reading.

Anyway let's get right to it,

A salty sea air filled the room, and in the distance, the sound of waves could be heard crashing against the shore. The old fisherman lay on his deathbed with his weathered hands folded on his chest. He had spent his whole life at sea, braving rough waters in search of the perfect catch. But now, as he approached the end of his life, he couldn't understand why it had all been so hard.

As he lay there, old memories flew through his mind. He thought of the first time he went to sea with his father and the feeling of pride and joy when he caught his first fish. His father had patted him on the back and said: 'Be proud of yourself Liam.' He was so happy that his father was pleased, because his father was hard to please. After that day, he had spent countless hours on the water, learning all about fishing and the sea. He had faced many challenges over the years, from heavy storms that threatened to sink his boat to long days at sea without any catch. But despite everything, he had persevered and was driven by his love for the sea.


Well this is a powerful moment for this to start in. What better place to question life than during the end of it. I think that glimpse into his father's actions on a pivotal day like that is also the perfect way to introduce this question and of course the actual answer to said question. It immediately established the rough outline of what this person's life was like and gives us a pretty solid idea of what to actually expect from sort of the motivation that has guided this person to this point in life.

As he looked back on his life, the fisherman could not help but wonder why it all had to be so miserable. He had worked hard, yet faced numerous difficulties. He looked at the sky and begged God for an explanation.

Suddenly, he felt a sense of peace wash over him. It was as if a burden had fallen off his shoulders. He realised that his struggle had made him the person he was today and that he had made a positive impact on those around him. He had provided for his family and contributed to the fishing industry, which was vital to the community as there was a scarcity of chicken and livestock.

With a smile on his face, the fisherman died peacefully. He knew his life's work had been meaningful and was content with the legacy he would leave behind.

His life had been meaningful.


Hmm, its a little bit quick about how it comes to the conclusion that it ultimately does here but honestly given how this is meant to be a quick little snapshot and just a generally short piece overall I don't really end up minding that fact too much. As for the actual little journey we took, I really liked the way you've put it here. The way he goes from questioning to that one moment of clarity where it all falls into place and finally he's at peace to pass from the world. I think its beautiful and as much as its sad to normally see a character die like this, here it feels just right and wonderful because its someone finishing a life well lived and being satisfied with it and I love that.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall I think you've managed to write something pretty powerful here in a very short package and I genuinely enjoyed it quite a bit. I almost now want to know more about this fisherman's life.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate




Rinisha says...


HI @KateHardy

Thank you for the review and the sprinkle of positivity!

- Rinisha



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Wed Apr 12, 2023 9:29 pm
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KaiaJersaga wrote a review...



Heyo!
I'm not sure how you keep coming out with new pieces of writing so fast. It's like you can sleep and write at the same time. (A talent I wish I had)

That aside, I'm here to give you a review. :) I love how short and simple this piece is, but what a big story it tells! How often people feel that their lives have been fruitless and meaningless! But, in reality, everyone has a part to play. The little things this fisherman did was what truly counted. He may have not been a man everyone heard of or knew, but he did his part, and at the end of his life, he is satisfied with that.

The lesson is so simple, and you convey it so nicely in this short piece. It's such a sweet reminder that you don't have to be famous or do big things to make a difference. Simply doing what you can is enough.

Overall, this is probably my favorite piece I have seen from you. You obviously put some thought into it. :)

I do want to say really quickly that you should probably add a comma between "yourself" and "Liam" in this sentence: 'Be proud of yourself Liam.'

Again, fabulous job.

Happy writing,
Kaia :)




Rinisha says...


hi @KaiaJersaga

Thank you for all of the sweet words and motivation. I really appreciate it! <3

Question is Kaia Jersaga your real name?
(I really love it and I'd like to use it in one of my stories if you don't mind ofc.)

- Rinisha



KaiaJersaga says...


Hi! Glad to help a fellow writer!

Nope! I made it up. It's my "formal" pen name :) Sure. I don't care. You can use it. (I feel honored. :) )



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Wed Apr 12, 2023 8:31 pm
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iriisblooms wrote a review...



Hi! Iris here to leave a quick review! <3
First off, this looks amazing! I can relate to it and it's nice to see what I feel in someone's writing. I love how it ends simply yet powerfully and it ends really sweetly. It's a part of dying that no one thinks of until it happens to them, and it's nice to see people writing about it <33 great work and keep on writing! :)




Rinisha says...


hi @iriisblooms

Thank you for your review! <3




Turn your demons into art, your shadow into a friend, your fear into fuel, your failures into teachers, your weaknesses into reasons to keep fighting. Don’t waste your pain. Recycle your heart.
— Andréa Balt