Young Writers Society

Hiya! This is Orabella, here with a short review.

Not often do I see works with such beautiful morals. Often there will be a hidden moral, but I enjoyed this because the moral is so simple yet beautifully stated: Live live to the fullest and find ways to be kind.

From the first two paragraphs I was hooked. It's a very interesting idea - every good deed adds a stone to your heavenly home. I never would've thought of that. Too creative for me. Although, I feel like there are better ways to start off a story. "There are" and "there is" and "there was" don't really add much to a story. Yes, sure, there's a man named Caleb. Tons of people are named Caleb. But tell us why he's important and what makes him unique. Why is he important to the story? (And yes, granted, you wrote that later on in the same sentence. The beginning sentence is great, and there's nothing really wrong with it. It's just possible for it to be even better.)

I was never bored reading this. Some stories ramble on about things the reader doesn't yet care about, but you keep it interesting without too many overbearing details. Not only is the idea itself interesting, but you kept the reader's attention throughout the whole story. That's not something every story has, so, great job!!

Even for people who are not religious, (or those who do not believe in a heaven or a God but still do have a religion), this is a universal message. Even if you believe you'll die one day and that will just be it, that nothing you do will ever matter. Being kind and living life to the fullest is what everyone should do and probably what everyone wants to feel. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Keep writing, no matter what!


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Hey, Foxmaster here for a quick review!

(This is @Rose's amazing banner)
Oooh I liked this, sorry I didn't review it earlier. Once again, a meaningful, nice, truly good story from you! I was smiling at the end of this when I read it.
Nooooow! On to the review!

But there was a disturbing twist in Caleb's story.

Then there was another day, when Caleb was doing his usual routine, he came across a homeless person sitting alone on a park bench. In a moment of haste and self-centredness, Caleb walked by without acknowledging the person's presence or offering a helping hand.

Greetings from a fellow writing friend!
Kaia here to spin by and give you a review.

So here we have another one of Rinisha's infamous death fables. Okay, just joking. (But there really does seem to be a trend here featuring the end of life and the meaning found in life and eternity and the works one has done in life and well I could just keep going on, now couldn't I?) But let's get on with it, shall we?

So, I have to say I was quite surprised when I saw that the man had only a few stones surrounding the place where his heavenly home was supposed to be. But then it started to make sense to me (I think). What I got from this is that the man had the good deeds, but not the gratitude and determination to be thankful that he needed to put the bricks he had earned through good deeds into the formation of a house. I guess I never quite thought of those two things being related before--thankfulness and good deeds. But, the two should not be separated for sure. And it's also very relatable because so often people focus on trying to improve on one little element in their lives that they lose sight of the rest of the important things in life--in this case, gratitude.

I really liked your idea stated here about the fact that every good deed is a building block for your future home in heaven. I had always thought of it like God prepared the place for you in heaven, but this short story puts a wonderful spin on that. You provide the bricks by doing all the good works, and God will build the wonderful home for you. Wow! I really love that! That's really creative, and it does definitely remind me of the goal to get to heaven.

About the plot...I have to say I'm really glad that Caleb got a second chance. I think he did deserve it. After all, he was TRYING to do good, right? But his aim was off just a bit. And there have been true stories about people having near-death experiences and meeting God (or usually just hearing His voice) and then returning to the Earth with a message to be shared among God's people. So, in reality, that's even realistic.

Overall, fantastic job, Rinisha! I can't believe I missed when this one was first released. I really like your short fables. They're so quick but there's so much depth to them; it's awesome!

Keep up the great work, and have a great review day!
-Kaia

This is a good story. Although very optimistic, you have tempered it enough that it simply seems pleasant. It is a lovely little tale, though it is very short. It is also very simple, something I would recommend you to improve upon.

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: This was a lovely little tale. Another one of those really simple ones with a simple message just done really rather simply and done really well. I think you've managed not to overcomplicate it too much and while the pacing was a touch fast in spots it works really well.

Anyway let's get right to it,

There was once a man called Caleb, who firmly believed that for every good deed he did, a stone would be placed on his house in heaven. This belief gave him purpose and filled his days with great and small acts of kindness. Caleb believed that over the years, as people continued to do good deeds, their heavenly home would take shape, reflecting the goodness they had spread in their lives.

But there was a disturbing twist in Caleb's story. Every time he stumbled and did something he deemed wrong, he felt an overwhelming sense of remorse. It weighed on his conscience and cast a shadow over his heart. The fear of tarnishing his heavenly abode drove him to avoid any misstep, but in the process he lost sight of the beauty and joy that life had to offer.

Then there was another day, when Caleb was doing his usual routine, he came across a homeless person sitting alone on a park bench. In a moment of haste and self-centredness, Caleb walked by without acknowledging the person's presence or offering a helping hand.

Later that evening, as Caleb reflected on his day, a wave of guilt overtook him. He realised the missed opportunity to show compassion and make a difference in someone's life. The weight of his actions came down on him, and he felt a stone lifted from his heavenly home.

One fateful day, as Caleb was crossing a busy street, he was hit by a speeding car. Although it was not yet his time to leave this world, his mortal body succumbed to the accident. As Caleb's spirit ascended into the heavenly realm, he stood before the divine presence of God.

With a gentle smile, God beckoned Caleb to follow him and led him to a half-destroyed house. Shock and disbelief flooded Caleb's face when he saw only a handful of stones, haphazardly scattered on the foundation. His heart sank, for he had dedicated his life to good, and this incomplete structure seemed an unfair testament to his efforts.

God sensed Caleb's sorrow and spoke with compassion and wisdom. "My dear Caleb, you are so engrossed in avoiding misdeeds that you have lost sight of the good in your life. You have forgotten to cherish every moment, to find joy in the simple acts of love and gratitude. Your home is incomplete because you have failed to appreciate the beauty and abundance that surround you."

Overwhelmed by this realisation, Caleb's eyes filled with tears of remorse and gratitude. God, in his infinite goodness, offered Caleb a new chance at life because his earthly journey had been cut short. Filled with a new purpose, Caleb awoke in a hospital bed, alive again, his heart overflowing with gratitude and determination.

From that day on, Caleb embraced life with a new perspective. He enjoyed the smallest joys, gave kind words and gestures to everyone he met and cherished the moments that really mattered. He learned that true goodness flourishes not only in grand gestures, but also in everyday acts of kindness and compassion.

When the time finally came for Caleb to leave the mortal realm and be reunited with God in heaven, he was filled with anticipation and a sense of fulfilment. As he stepped into the heavenly realm, he looked at his fully built, beautiful home - a testament to a life well lived.

With a satisfied smile, Caleb followed God as He led him through the gates of paradise to his heavenly home. On the way, Caleb saw that the path was lined with gardens of vibrant flowers, filled with laughter and love. He understood that these were the treasured memories he had sown during his journey, blooming and mingling with the stones of his heavenly abode.

As Caleb stepped over the threshold of his completed home, a deep sense of satisfaction enveloped him. His home was a testament not only to the good deeds he had done, but also to the lessons he had learnt about embracing the wonders of life and sharing kindness unconditionally.

In that moment, Caleb realised that the true beauty of life lies not only in the final destination, but in the journey itself - the moments of grace, the connections made and the love shared. His home in heaven, now whole and radiant, symbolised the harmony of a life full of gratitude, compassion and an unwavering commitment to the goodness within.

And so the story of Caleb serves as a timeless lesson - a reminder to cherish every day, to seek the beauty and blessings hidden in every moment, and to let acts of kindness pave the way to a life of true fulfilment and a house built not just with bricks, but with the essence of one's spirit.