Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Other » General


Stare

by Purple67


Many days I glanced at the tinted-black sky and wondered if it was really the limit. And it was.

As a kid, I never went to sleep when I needed to, I can not think of a time that I ever went to sleep without looking at the sky first. It astonished me so much I would look at it each night, just glaring at the window, just to observe the sky.

I'm 17 now, I can't be talking about the sky all the time.  

But one day, I thought the sky stared back.

And I couldn't believe it. Who would think that the sky had feelings?

It wasn't fantasy; I felt like it was real. 

Oh wait, it's my imagination... 


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
15 Reviews


Points: 84
Reviews: 15

Donate
Tue Dec 22, 2020 1:55 am
AndyS6 wrote a review...



This is really well written and organized well. It has a good flow to it and it is clear to understand where that flow is.

This seems like you could write more on? Possibly something you can expand upon and add to it. Talk about the connection you and the sky had. Get very in-depth and detailed about it all, and then end with "Oh wait, it's my imagination... "

You ended it really well and it definitely allows for some thought on the connections we can make with other things in the world via our imagination. Just goes to show how truly unique the human mind is.

Great Story! Happy writing. :)




User avatar
201 Reviews


Points: 109
Reviews: 201

Donate
Tue Dec 08, 2020 2:58 pm
MissGangamash wrote a review...



Hey! Just thought I check this out because it was in the Green Room.

I think this is an interesting premise that you could work with into something longer. The 'I thought the sky stared back, ' definitely feels like the start of a dark fairy tale to me!

If you do have a play around with this idea and come up with something, let me know. I'm intrigued!




User avatar
37 Reviews


Points: 351
Reviews: 37

Donate
Mon Dec 07, 2020 6:53 pm
hannah0528 wrote a review...



Hi! Hannah here for a quick review. I loved the mystique of this! It was pretty short, but it is pretty cool. I love how it talks about the sky. It is like a poem. It was really descriptive and I liked when you said
"But one day, I thought the sky stared back.

And I couldn't believe it. Who would think that the sky had feelings?" I feel like that added a mystery to it. And then it says
"Oh wait, it's my imagination... " I liked that part, and how the piece seemed unfinished, but it was finished. I have no critiques! I think that this is a beautiful piece of writing and I hope to hear more from you! Have a good day, Merry Christmas, and keep writing!



Hannah





An Angel who did not so much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downwards.
— Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens