Author's Note: I wrote this in less than an hour and I'm tired and fatigued and this probably doesn't make sense so please don't judge me for it. I just felt the urge to write.
Love is like a decoration, and I wish to hang it from the ceiling.
Mother always said that, especially on the days where happiness bubbled up through the chinks in her misery-clad life. When father’s hands unfurled into supple, delicate blankets, which he draped over her skin with such painstaking care, she would mutter the words to herself, eyelids drawn over bloodshot irises and still faint with the mottled pattern of bruising.
Red is the shade of love, and I am glad to see it spread so freely.
She whispered that one evening in January, when the flat was carved out like an ice sculpture, so cold that my breath spiralled into smoke before my eyes. I barely reached my mother’s waist, but I was tall enough to see the scrawled spider crack in the bathroom mirror, flecked and outlined with the same scarlet ink that was smeared over my mother’s face.
If love were a tree, then silence would be a branch. I am clinging to it.
I caught a glimpse of her diary only to see this phrase. She had not spoken to anyone for days, not even the man on the staircase – the one with the bulky nose and sparse hair who spat out questions like bile. He drenched us with inquiries about the blackness of my mother’s jaw and I clutched her hand all the while, watching her carve a tight smile into her face as she stared, stared, stared into nothingness.
She talked only to Father, though it hurt her jaw to do so.
I am made of love.
She screamed this when the police came, though to me they were little more than dark blocks, pinning arms and stern voices. I hid in the cupboard and wrapped my arms around my head, trying to hold myself in place, but when I emerged father was gone.
Love is like a decoration, and I wish to hang it from the ceiling.
Mother was made of love. It was her, and she was it.
And one day I found it wrapped in rope, hanging from the ceiling.
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
HOLD UP! O_o
I absolutely was not expecting that!
Oh my goodness. It took some time for me to process it, but I did. I started feeling weid about it after like the first few paragraphs, but like... Oh my god.
wow.
Okay, so I can very easily say that this is amazing.
The final sentence was like a bullet of 'oh Lord, what?' I really do love how this is written; giving a brief detailing of the life that this woman lived, along with the narrator, too. I don't know where the quotes in italics came from, but if you wrote them yourself, then I say bravo, they're deep, and I loved the connection from 'love is like a decoration, and I wish to hang it on the ceiling' to 'I found it wrapped it rope, hanging from the ceiling'.
Thank you so much! And yes, I did write those quotes myself. I didn't expect everyone to be so impressed by them.
Well when you've got a talent, people tend to notice.
I love it! It's a pure inspiration for me to learn how to write beautifully.
The way you described the scenes with intense words laid out the whole picture of the story and helped my imagination to grow strong and see all of that you've written in my mind. I love romantic piece of art and I am mesmerized by the amazing writing skill that you possess. Truly mystifying!! Congratulations on such a beautiful work of yours! God bless!!
I'm glad to inspire, and I'm sure you will learn. It's all about practice.
One word; LOVELY!
*gawks* *drools* *faints*
This is absolutely amazing! The amount of emotion that was poured into this...I'm sorry, I can't complete my thoughts. That was just...wow.
It made perfect sense and the way you wrote it was beautiful. I loved the mother's quotes and how there was a memory for each one. And though the ending was really quite sad, I loved how it related to the beginning of your story and made it become a complete circle.
~ElectricSkies
Timmyjake here to give you a comment, not a review.
This is amazing! So vividly descriptive, full of her pain and her mother's pain. She felt and saw everything, and I could see it with her!
Thank you for posting this!
damn.
Good damn?
a mighty fine damn indeed
I was speechless, until I'd seen what ... Baal here had said,
and that ^ is a perfect description of how I feel.
Good grief, I wish a fatigued hour could produce such fine work from me!
This was upsetting and beautiful and poetic. Well done.
I must admit that I normally avoid short stories that have a poetic flare to them, because a lot are just too complex and confusing and the reader gets lost halfway through. THIS, however, was completely clear, well-written, and a joy to read!
Honestly I cannot give enough praise to this. I'm very impressed. Especially at the end, with the suicide---which, thankfully, managed to keep the integrity of the story by making it almost ambiguous to the casual reader.
It flowed nicely together, showed the evolution of these relationships and characters pretty flawlessly, and was also written correctly without any grammar or punctuation issues. And no misspellings, as far as I could tell, either. Having a typo-less, well-edited story is a win in itself, I always say.
Awesome job on this!
You didn't want to be judged on this, friend? Really? I think you should change that opinion.
Every word is beautifully carved.
Nothing is direct in here and that is the best part.
I really wish i could write like you, maybe with time i will. The softness in the entire story left me in the desire to read more of this kind.
This was amaaazinggg!
Keep writing
Love,
Krish.
Wow.... I'm honestly speechless. This is just beautiful. Definitely good enough to be published. Just... amazing. AMAZING!!!!! Keep writing, please. You're great at it.
You are a beautiful writer. I know you said you wrote this in less than an hour and to me that is simply amazing. The piece was well thought out and heart-breaking. It wrenched my heart. I hope to see more of your amazing pieces grace this website.
I think this made perfect sense, dispite what you thought. This was really good and, like carbonCore says, it hit me like a train. THis was wonderful and I thouroghly enjoyed it. Applause to you.
~Racket
Sweet mother of god, this hit me like a train.
Like + follow.
Hi there! I'll be honest here; I'm usually not one that likes to read about heavier subjects (I'm more of an action-adventure based girl) so I commend you for having the guts to write one. Your words had a poetic tug, despite the fact that you wrote this in less than an hour.
I do have to agree with SARAHJO when she said, 'But instead of making this a novel or a story, I think it would be best as a poem.' Even though you replied and said that you suck at writing them, I think that since you already have the basis of the potential poem outlined that it wouldn't hurt you in any way to attempt to reconstruct it. It's always good practice for writers to push themselves beyond what they think they can't do, you know?
Either way, keep up the great work... I'd love to see more like this from you!
-MaddyMae
Thank you! Maybe I will try. I do write poetry sometimes, but I'm never very confident in it. Still, I could give it a go.
No problem and honestly, there's nothing to lose.
Howdy, Panda!
First of all, I can not - refuse to - believe that you wrote this masterpiece in under an hour. Amazingly beautiful writing, honestly. I was taken aback. I wish I could write something this beautiful in even quadruple the time.
Your lead in sentence is art. It caught my attention immediately. That's great for an introduction. One you have your reader on the hook, it's easier to reel them in. (Fishing analogies? What are you doing with your life, Reese?) I've already read this through, twice, and your diction and syntax are mesmerizing. I must sound like a giggly fan girl right now, but that's mostly because I am.
I have only one complaint.
The word "limbs" here kind of puts a stutter stop to the story. It doesn't sound natural, but rather awkward and strange. I suggest changing it to simply arms or something of the like.
The ending hit me like a ton of broken hearts. The allusion back to the introduction was beautifully done, and the way you wrote the suicide made everything seem to piece together. That quote, "Love is like a decoration, and I wish to hang it from the ceiling", is so beautiful I want to write it all over my city.
Job fantastically done, Panda.
-RP
Thank you SO much! I'm glad that you actually understood the suicide implications at the end, as none of the other reviewers actually mentioned it, and, wow, those are some big compliments. It may not have actually taken less than an hour, but it was about that, maybe a little over. I don't know. However, I will change the 'limbs' bit, thanks for pointing that out, and thank you for being so lovely.
No problem, sweetheart. This was great. One of my favorites.
Frankly i love the piece. It is amazing, and breath-taking. It flows like melted butter, with substance and expression, something that absolutely stick-on.
"Love is like a decoration, and I wish to hand it fro the ceiling."
Sending love and warmth your way.
"Love is like a decoration, and I wish to hang it from the ceiling."
O_O. You had me at this first sentence, and all of the rest. You have such a graceful way of writing. But instead of making this a novel or a story, I think it would be best as a poem. I can see your love for literature is strong, and I'm wondering if you're a fan of poetry as well. It would seem that way considering the way you use such descriptive words. Another thing I am curious to know is, did you come up with the phrases in italics on your own? I don't think I've ever heard anything like these lines. They seem so original in piece.
All in all, I absolutely love this. It's a great piece of writing and I do think you should continue to write more like this. Well done!
Thank you! You're right, I think it would work better as a poem, but the problem is that I suck at writing them. If I could, I'd do so all the time, but I find it really difficult. Thanks nontheless, though.
Amazing work.
Welldone on your successful work, I didnt quite understand it.
probably because I'm tired, but I liked the description you used.
And the little quotes are very pretty.
The order you done organised is fine.
Very romantic, all about the love quotes.
I see you are very advanced on your pieces.
Quite cute atually XD
Doesnt need much improvement.
~Nelly-aka-Neko~
Cute...? XD I guess you really didn't understand it.