Why did you do it, Laura?
That’s the last thing they wanted to know from me, and it’s the one question I couldn’t answer. I was good about everything else. How did you do it? Where did you do it? When did you do it? I answered those like a trooper. Full marks, ding ding ding. First time I’d known the answer to everything. Never was any good at school. Bryony was. She hit my face once, when she flung her hand in the air to answer something.
Why did you do it, Laura?
It wasn’t that I didn’t know, it was that there were too many answers. Because she was the surprise banknote hidden within the purse folds and I was the scraped coppers. Because she was the sun-spangled waves and I was the sand beneath your toenails. Because she was nice about it. Because she pretended. Because she was nice.
Why did you do it, Laura?
If there was any one thing, it was Darren, but that’s not really an excuse. They’d married months before I did it. She’d worn bunched silk, her hair in chestnut whorls, a little cloud of jasmine perfume misting about her with every movement. He’d followed her in that spectral way of the perfume, always delicate, always touching her like he thought she might fade. When they’d kissed, I’d clapped hard, and motes of happiness had risen through my chest – real ones, genuine ones, like the bubbles in champagne.
Why did you do it, Laura?
Because she’d been walking along the pier, her hair whipped by winds, her teeth a bright gleam in the lamplight. Because we’d been alone. Because she’d had her hand on my arm, with those shiny oval nails and her grip as light as a dragonfly. Because she’d said you’ll find your happiness too, Laura.
Because she’d leaned over the railings to look at the dizzying depths of the sea, which thrashed like something living. Because I’d settled my hand between the sharpness of her shoulder blades, my fingers tracing one soft curl of hair. Because she felt so fragile under my fingers, like she might fade any minute. Because one push was all it had taken.
Because it was easy, I finally told them.
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139,657 Literary Works • 672,645 Reviews
Er, hello. I really liked this story, although I guess I always sensed Laura had murdered Beyond, or at least had done something terrible to her. I don't have any criticisms against the story, really. And Laura's reply at the end, I think, shows how unapologetic she is. I think I want her to be unapologetic, for some strange villainy reason.
Hey, DarkPandemonium, it's your girl, Leafpool, coming in with a review!
Oh, yes, push somebody off a pier; it'll solve ALL your problems.
"She hit my face once, when she flung her hand in the air to answer something." Presenting, ladies and gentlemen, my (second) favorite line in this whole poem.
So, I take it that the main character doesn't really like Bryony that much. It seems like Bryony is always better at everything than our main character. And Bryony probably gets all the boys too. She's been blessed with brains AND beauty.
"Her teeth a bright gleam in the lamplight." She's too perfect, she needs to die.
"With those shiny oval nails," Even her nails are perfect, ...sigh...
I have only one question; did Bryony die in the end?
Anyway, that's it for now.
Leafpool is out
Thank you for the review! As for whether Bryony died,, I think she did, but the story is ambiguous enough that you can make up your own mind on that.
Hey, DarkPandemonium, it's your girl, Leafpool, coming in with a review!
Oh, yes, push somebody off a pier; it'll solve ALL your problems.
"She hit my face once, when she flung her hand in the air to answer something." Presenting, ladies and gentlemen, my (second) favorite line in this whole poem.
So, I take it that the main character doesn't really like Bryony that much. It seems like Bryony is always better at everything than our main character. And Bryony probably gets all the boys too. She's been blessed with brains AND beauty.
"Her teeth a bright gleam in the lamplight." She's too perfect, she needs to die.
"With those shiny oval nails," Even her nails are perfect, ...sigh...
I have only one question; did Bryony die in the end?
Anyway, that's it for now.
Leafpool is out
Wow just wow...
Thank you!
You are welcome
I relate very weirdly to the mc here... wonderful piece by the way like seriously this was AMAZING!!!
Thank you very much!
Hey, I'm here to review.
Keep up the good job! 
WHAT IS THIS REALLY?! I. Am. Not. Satisfied. I think you've done an excellent job to keep our intrigue in check, and the atmosphere of the story is disturbingly chilly, like I know something's bad is going to happen when you describe about Bryony and how nice and perfect she is while including how she also pretends. And there's the bit about Darren, who seems to be a reason for why Laura does it, but actually isn't the big reason.
The suspense is the main strength of this story, and you've pulled it off in such a short length. I was hoping for Laura to have an affair with Bryony, because it doesn't seem like the former dislikes the latter, but when it is heavily hinted she pushes the Bryony off the ship (?) I'm like, 'Whut? Why? What happened?' but it's seriously serves as a nice twist, one that I don't expect.
Perhaps the biggest clue of why Laura does that lies on what Bryony says to her: 'You'll find your happiness too, Laura'. I think Bryony and Laura do have an affair, at least Laura thinks they do, and when Bryony marries, she's happy for her but not really because it means she's going to be alone. I'm not sure, the story doesn't really tell much, which makes it open to interpretation and makes it something that is going to be in your mind for a long time. >.>
Anyway, that is all! Can't expect nothing less from you.
Thank you! Also, just to clear it up, she pushes her over the railings of a pier, not a ship. I'm guessing they were at the seaside or something.
Hello! Wow. I can't believe you wrote this in half an hour, and you're sluffing it off like it's just a little thing you wrote- this is GORGEOUS. Seriously, it's this light, intriguing story that somehow is just so practical through the MC's eyes, like murder is just something everyone does! Like, the way it's put, it just... I don't know, I felt like I was so 'into' the MC's shoes that I understood a little why she did it.
The other thing I wanted to mention that I liked, was that throughout the story, while I was reading, I was wondering to myself and trying to figure out if in the end she'd say that she'd gotten into, like, an affair with this other girl (because of the mention of being super happy for the two of them, I thought perhaps it was leading to a sort of guilty-confusion that she'd done something that she shouldn't have with the lady. ANYWAY, so the whole read I was like "IS IT AN AFFAIR OR MURDER?" and it was pretty intense, and it kept me very much so on my toes and I think it was splendid.
This line made me chuckle. That was a really good way of showing us the kind of person that other girl was. Like. Pretty much INSTANT character building there - which is so so good for such a sort work, 'cause we still got a good vision of what the characters are/were like.
I don't have a lot in the way of critiques, to be honest (and by not many I mean zero), so this review is going to be dedicated to sending you an important message: keep writing, my dear. You've got it. Seriously.
-Socks
Thank you so much!