For starters,
I'd like to say,
That I only borrowed her
I had every intention of taking her back
She's a brilliant thing,
So ancient
Yet so new
Though I must admit,
She's a museum piece
A type 40 TARDIS,
Outdated by the time we ran away
Not that it matters
She works fine,
Apart from the fact,
That she's stuck as a 1963 police box
You see,
I never got round to fixing the chameleon circuit
Anyhow,
The police box has grown on me now
And she's not very reliable
But she's always took me where I needed to go
I love hearing people remark
"It's bigger on the inside!"
Or that one time,
Someone stated
"It's smaller on the outside!"
She is extremely huge,
Imagine the largest spaceship ever
And then scrap that,
Because she's infinite
Don't ever think,
That she's just a machine
Because she's not
She's alive
And she has feelings
Hurt her,
And she'll snarl at you
She's my TARDIS,
And I'm,
(I admit it)
Her thief
Truly,
I'm a madman with a box
The best box in the Universe
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,815 Reviews
Doctor Who themed poetry! Excuse me while I go squeal about this... ahem. Alright, let's take a closer look!
Specifics
1.
I love this opening. I'd like to see you add just a little more here though - the thing about the Doctor is he always explains and goes back on himself, corrects, calculates. [Or my favourite doctor anyway
I had every intention of taking her back,
of putting the box back in the box
(if she had one) but I took her back,
so far back that she saw the start of the world.
Obviously this is a very quick and rough write-up but maybe it gives you a few ideas!
2.
It might be nice to have a little filler here and to hear about one of the times where she's took him where he needed to go, rather than where he wanted to go. A few concrete images and events would help give this poem some extra life.
Overall
This is cool! It's nice to see an ode to the TARDIS and this is the first I've read so you get bonus points for being original. I would quite like to see a few more 'spoilers' to give your Whovian fans a chance to tick them off their checklist and feel like they can connect with the poem on a deeper level because they remember the referenced events.
Thanks for the fun read!
Heather xx
Thanks. An I don't mind you squealing over Doctor Who theme poetry at all.
It seems everything I was planning on saying has already been said. I to am a whovian, and it is a wonderfully doctorish poem, but you doneed to look at your line breaking. Also, I know it is a matter of taste but I think "I'm a madman with a box" would have made a much better last line than "The best box in the universe" which incidentally was capitalized. Basically keep everything you have written, but you might want to tweak a couple of points. Hope this helps
TakeThatYouFiend!
P.S. Doctor Who is a great way to get likes on YWS, so be sure to mention it on the Doctor Who clubs!
I feel slightly biased because I'm a huge Whovian! Like beyond big and annoying to anyone that doesn't like Doctor Who. So Let's begin. Excellent poem, it's truly beautiful and combines everything the Doctor has ever loved about the TARDIS. I love how you have him that he truly is a thief, like he wouldn't have it any other way. And I love how you've captured the doctor's voice (I was reading it in eleven's voice I'm not going to lie).
However I do feel some of the breaks you have in the poem are a little awkward. For examplt;
"Don't ever think,
That she's a machine"
The comma here seems unnecessary and it breaks up a complete sentence. Not a big thing but it ruins the flow a little bit. Overall wonderful job and good voice.
Thanks! I actually was aiming it for Eleven's voice...so that's good to hear!