Come along, Pond.
There's so much to see.
All of time and space,
Everything that has ever happened,
Or ever will.
Where do you want to start?
Amelia Pond,
You've waited long enough.
So, come along, Pond.
We have so much to do.
I may be a madman with a box,
But trust me,
I'm the Doctor.
Come along, Pond.
Goodbye Leadworth,
Hello everything.
So, come along, Pond.
We're off to see the Universe.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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140,397 Literary Works • 673,156 Reviews
Greeeetings! I felt I should review in return, so when I saw you had a doctor who folder I had to review!
There are no apparent flaws in spelling, punctuation, grammar or rhythm, so you have achieved minimum "poetry base 0".
Now may I suggest separating it into stanzas of 5 lines, 5 lines, 4 lines and 4 lines. This would help clarify ends of particular ideas and prevent the reader "garbling" it. I felt that it was too easy to read quickly if you take my meaning.
Also in the proposed 3rd paragraph I would recommend making it one sentence separated at the currant full stop with a semi colon.
Hope this helps,
Take That You Fiend!
You asked, so I answered.
This is one of the best you have written so far.
You don't overuse the repetition and your flow is good.
I don't really have time for an all out review but am happy to do one later if you want.
It is very good though and you really pay homage to young Amelia. Although I suggest maybe somehow incorporating Amy Pond in there too, to show the change she went through, from little Amelia to Amy.
Good job though.
Xxx
Thank you so much!
As a result of my pain from the Christmas special, I wrote a sort of goodbye to 11.
You're awesome, and I'll work to see if I can add an Amy in there.
No, probs! I'm always happy to help a fellow whovian out
I look forward to seeing your other work and what you manage to do with this one.
I admit, it's tempting to use the element of repetition in the poem. But it should be noted about why it needs to be repeated, is it important or be worthy to use.
Here you repeat it as to highlight the title of the poem. I absolutely love the title, but feel a little bland when repeated several times in the poem.
Character that you create may also give an indication that this poem was written for Amelia Pond. I am not sure if you write about a story you have read in the form of a poem. But I think it's something smart to do.
This part was a little confusing. Does "doctor" is actually a metaphor in this poem?
Overall, I like the idea that used to forming a good poem to read. Only there is some confusion that seems a bit disturbing.
Keep it up and keep writing!
Kudos, cheers.
It's about a TV show named Doctor Who, in which the main character is called the Doctor. Amy Pond was one of his companions.
Oh, i see. I haven't watch the movie yet --.--'
I think you should put an A/N at the top
I'm not exactly sure who the characters are in this piece.
But does it matter?
NOT AT ALL!
I think your characterisation of them through name choices and action description is excellent.
Such as: 'So, come along, Pond.
We have so much to do.
I may be a madman with a box,'
If I had to make a criticism, I think a bit of clarification about the roles of these characters, and perhaps the genre they belong in would help me as a reader.
Really enjoyed this work.
Thanks for the review. It's about the Eleventh Doctor and Amy Pond from Doctor Who.
-facepalm-
It makes perfect sense now.
Sorry for not recognising the reference.
No problem
im such a whovian, i think that everyone understands what im on about.