Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Science Fiction

E - Everyone

No More

by NightWolf


(I am writing three poems about the Doctor Who 50th anniversary, focussed on each of the Doctors. This is about the War Doctor)

No more,

No more fighting,

No more war,

It's time to end it,

No more Daleks,

No more Time Lords,

I'll finish you all,

No more crying children,

No more pleas for mercy,

I have the Moment,

But who's that girl?

I throw her out,

No more waiting,

No more hesitating,

But the girl's back,

She asks me a question,

Are you afraid of the big bad wolf, Doctor?

I don't understand,

But she shows me the future,

She shows me who I will become,

The man who regrets,

And the man who forgets,

Different faces, different cases,

Same person, same software,

Impossibly together,

A wedding, and a kiss,

Is there a lot of that?

Apparently so,

And the TARDIS!

Oh, how he let it go!

How I let it go!

But at least they like the round things,

But, quickly, to the Tower,

The Tower in the future,

And he rings someone,

Through the painting now,

Elizabeth's credientals,

Destroy the Dalek,

And follow it into the Black Archive,

Zygon duplicates,

Of the humans,

And a worrying theat,

A nuclear warhead,

About to blow up London,

They stop it,

I stop it,

And then she comes to speak to me,

Clara Oswald,

From my future,

And the Moment is watching,

I'm ready,

Back to my present,

But then they appear,

To do it with me,

This time I'm not alone,

But she shakes her head,

Clara doesn't agree,

He changes his mind!

I change my mind!

What we're suggesting is far worse,

Than merely changing history,

All of us,

We'll save Gallifrey,

We can do it,

All twelve of us,

But who's that?

No, all thirteen!

Gallifrey will have hope,

Safe, in a pocket universe,

And the Daleks will be destroyed,

Annihilated in their own crossfire,

Then, to the National Gallery,

And the painting,

Gallifrey falls,

Or no more,

No more,

I am the War Doctor,

No more.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
17 Reviews


Points: 421
Reviews: 17

Donate
Fri Dec 13, 2013 12:43 pm
Moneypwnzb says...



Doctor Who poems are the best! I absolutely love your way of writing NightWolf, you're truly magnificent!
-Vinnie




User avatar
51 Reviews


Points: 77
Reviews: 51

Donate
Mon Dec 09, 2013 10:54 am
sphealwithit wrote a review...



Sphealwithit here..

I love doctor who and I really like this poem

It's really well written, especially the whole war doctor thing. The use of no more made it feel like an Edgar Allan Poe poem. You do have too many commas but it's ok it's a mistake I make all the time.

There could be more emotion but apart from that it is a good poem.

Keep up the good work
Sphealwithit out....




User avatar
191 Reviews


Points: 7136
Reviews: 191

Donate
Sun Dec 08, 2013 10:18 am
Nargles wrote a review...



Hey,
I reviewed your poem 'Ten's end' earlier today and when I saw you had posted this I had to read it.

I like it, it is really good and you get the message and arc of the War Doctor across really nice. The repetition of 'no more' was really well done and is consistent through out and doesn't seem off.

Again, you overuse commas. Now, I realise that punctuation always varies in poetry and the use of it depends on the poets preference. But I believe that the general consensus is, if you use punctuation you use it properly and throughout the poem. This poem can really benefit from some longer pauses and periods. It will set the mood and tone too.
Poetry isn't just about the words used, but the way that the words are constructed and how they created mood and meaning. Poetry uses words, devices, pauses, cadence to tell a story or create an emotion or get across a message.
So, instead of just sticking commas at the end of every line think about whether it needs to go there or not.

Ok, the only other negative thing I have to say about this piece is that I feel as if it is a little luckluster. You need more emotion, the War Doctor is carrying this massive task, he doesn't want to do it, but he believes that it is the only way. He feels as if he is no longer the doctor, how can he be? After what he regenerated from 8 for? After what he is planning on doing? He is carrying around this massive task that is tacking an emotional toll on him. Then he gets shown what he becomes, what he turns into, this man who regrets and this man who forgets. He doesn't like it, but still he knows he must destroy Gallifrey.
So, basically what I am trying to say is that we need to feel this emotion and this tumult he is going through. We get a bit of it, but not really. I think that this needs to be improved by simply using more emotive language, there were heaps of great quotes in the 50th that carried a lot of weight, you can reference them as you have done already.

You have managed to capture the story of the War Doctor well, what you now need to improve on capturing that emotion.
Good job and I can't wait to read your poems on 10 and 11.
Keep writing please
Nargles xxx




User avatar
13 Reviews


Points: 242
Reviews: 13

Donate
Sun Dec 08, 2013 3:49 am
Tennantsayswhat wrote a review...



I don't usually read poetry, but I am a huge fan of doctor who, so I decided to read this. I loved this. I like how you took the main themes of the episode and didn't overexplain anything. There's the perfect amount of words, it's not over written, which can easily happen.

My favourite part is how you kept repeating the theme "no more", which really defines the war doctor as a character.

This was brilliant. Keep on writing!




User avatar
74 Reviews


Points: 648
Reviews: 74

Donate
Sun Dec 08, 2013 2:01 am
WindSailor wrote a review...



Hello Hsarver here to review this awesome poem on Doctor Who. So I am just going to start I am not very knowledgeable about Doctor Who(I have only seen a few episodes), but I can understand what you are describing here. I like how you took the 50th anniversary as a chance to write about it, you did it so well, and it is not what I expected when I clicked on it. It had good punctuation and good usage of words that showed how the War Doctor felt about it all. It showed so greatly he was against it all, and it really showed his emotion to the time war and everything that involved. I really don't have anything negative to say, besides it felt a bit dragged out. Maybe shorten it and condense it to something smaller, but that is totally based on your opinion. Good job and keep writing! :)




User avatar
8 Reviews


Points: 344
Reviews: 8

Donate
Sat Dec 07, 2013 9:29 pm
Nelly101 wrote a review...



Very long,
Good that your celebrating the 50th anniversary.
Good words,
Punchuation is very good.
I liked the rythem,
It rhymed.
You focaused on each doctor as you said yourself xD
Amazing work.
What do you mean 'no more' 'no more' 'or no more' ?




NightWolf says...


It was a main feature of the 50th, the War Doctor kept repeating no more, to show his disgust at the Time War.




Just because you don't feel like a hero in your own story, doesn't mean you're not a hero in someone else's.
— Tenyo