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Here's To It

by MorningStar

Here's to the "I can't do this".
Here's to the "I won't make it through this".
Here's to pink lines down your cheek.
Here's to smiling anyway.

I see you in a place you weren't supposed to know
I wish I could lift you and carry you home
I love you, I love you, I love you some more
As I betray you I smile anyway.

The clock tells me I no longer sleep
My stomach complains I no longer eat
My mind reminds me of how you are
Through the pain I smile anyway.

When I'm alone I finally cry
From the unending pain of watching you die
You can't get better but you're holding on tight
So I must learn to smile anyway.

I fear my dreams and what they'll say
Of how I'm treating you this way
I'll never be able to escape myself
And somehow I'll keep smiling anyway.

I need you to stay, I wish you would leave
If my pain worsens, yours would ease
I'd give anything for you to just be ok
And-- for you-- I'll smile anyway.

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177 Reviews

Points: 792
Reviews: 177

Sun Dec 30, 2012 2:19 am
Paracosm wrote a review...

Hey Star!

I really enjoyed your poem. I'm not great at reviewing poetry, but I'll do my best to give you a constructive review. Your poem was well written, it had a lyrical ring to it. You packed a ton of emotion into it, and your tell a dramatic story.

'The clock tells me I no longer sleep'

This line stood out to me because it felt cliched. It's not a bad line, but judging from the rest of the poem, you can do a lot better. The rest of this stanza is awesome. I can tell your character is anxious and depressed, but he still tries to show his smile, even if it's fake, even though he's hurting.

I also like the duality in this poem. He's stuck in a catch 22, stay with this girl, and he's hurt, stay with her and she's hurt. But he'll smile anyway. I really loved the two sides of the situation, it's brimming with conflict.

Good job Star! Keep up the good work!

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.
— Stanislaw Jerszy Lec