There was never a sacrifice great enough.
I would go to hell
I would take up the cross.
But we have always been forsaken.
There was never a sacrifice great enough.
There is only pain
enough for us all to have our fill.
All I can do is take more of the pain
In hopes that it offers the world some relief.
I take another sip of the ocean
as I watch the world drown.
I can only hand you a cup of saltwater
And ask you to share a drink with me.
I can only convince you to share my pain.
Because there was never
a sacrifice great enough.
And I’m sorry.
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140,075 Literary Works • 673,000 Reviews
Hey friend! Wow, I sure love your poetry.
I thought I would stop by and leave you a review. Lets jump right into it:
Simply, to me, this poem seems to say "there's no sacrifice great enough for me". I feel like you feel a lot of guilt, perhaps for things you've done and you almost feel sorry because you feel that there's no one who has ever felt your pain before. Christianity, it said that Jesus Christ died and sacrificed himself for every pain and sin and inflection, that he felt it all while he was on the cross.
This poem feels like an apology perhaps for your sins, or things that you have done, feeling that you don't even deserve this forgiveness and away. You want to suffer your own pain and say that you're even willing to go to hell for it. This poem feels so deep and there's a lot to digest. Overall, I sense a lot of guilt and shame. I agree with some of the comments made below, I would love to see you even more specific, biblical references, if that's the religious route you were going with this. But, I noticed that this poem was not marked as spiritual, rather marked as political, which makes me interpreted slightly different. Maybe the focus wasn't actually on Jesus, maybe it's on something completely different, which I can't quite put my finger on. Personally, what I relate to the most of the emotions found in these words. Perhaps guilt for the past and things that you've done, feeling that there's nothing you can do to ever be good enough. The lack of connection with others, which is led you to think that you're an exception to this sacrifice has been made for all of humanity. Whatever you were thinking while you wrote this, I hope that you know that you are loved <33 overall, fantastic poem, and keep on writing!
Your friend,
Ellie
Hi!
Ooooh, I actually like the ambiguity of the poem, lol. There is definitely a sense of pain in this poem... like there's a call of suffering which I like. After all, did Jesus Christ literally ask us to take up our crosses and follow him? This isn't a call to an idyllic life... it is a call toward pain and suffering. So I like that there is a call toward suffering... a lot of Christian poetry doesn't necessarily do this and only talks about peace, so that's a nice change. I like religious poems that deal with difficult things,b because Christianity is all about dealing with difficult things.
My one big comment is that this poem is literally called "Jesus Christ" and... there's not a lot of biblical allusions? Like, as a devout Christian, it seems really flat. There's a reference to the cross and a reference to sacrifice, but it's... really boring. Like, in my faith (I am a Catholic) the word "sacrifice" immediately calls to mind the high point of the mass... where Jesus Christ's body and blood is consumed in the Eucharist. And like... there's nothing that really delves into that. Also, there's a brief mention to the cross and... that is it.
But all this can be forgiven... except the ocean metaphor is really... dry. Like, water in the bible is such a symbolic thing that occurs throughout the entire course of salvation history. To demonstrate, here is what is said in every Catholic baptism...
Like. Water is POWERFUL symbol in our faith. And you only have Christ sip the water while he watches the world drown?
And then there's the cup. I am, as I said before, Catholic. We share a cup of wine during the Eucharist because we are sharing the blood of Christ. It is a miracle... Jesus once turned water into wine and then he turned wine into his blood. So like. This is a really powerful image! But you just have him dip it into the sea and give it to someone? Eh... not a very powerful image. Like, it almost feels like you are trying to write your own original metaphor, but you're doing it without integrating it with the rich faith of Christianity and it just. doesn't. land. right.
Anyway, I love Christian poetry about suffering! Even if this is a veiled criticism of Christianity, I wouldn't mind that... there's a reason why there is a poignant bible verse "Jesus wept." Frequently, I wonder if Jesus would weep at us and our sinning and suffering...
Still, reach into that deep, symbolic imagery of Christianity and don't be afraid to use it for your poem! If you make a Christian (or anti-Christian... again, it is ambiguous here) poem, those allusions can make your poem SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL. There's a reason why we still use that language and symbolism in our modern day... it's still powerful. Use that language and symbolism to make your poem powerful.
Oh wow, I’m not Christian myself but the emotion in this poem is chilling to the bone-it’s so raw with emotion that I felt my throat get dry and my heart clench slightly. Wow! Especially the ocean part, it was wonderful because it showed almost that even a heavenly being like Jesus can’t do anything to help the world and its inhabitants if the people themselves don’t want anything to do with being kind, respectful and loyal. In the end, it’s up to people and their priorities! Well done this is so deep and honestly I relate SO much.
Oh wow, I’m not Christian myself but the emotion in this poem is chilling to the bone-it’s so raw with emotion that I felt my throat get dry and my heart clench slightly. Wow! Especially the ocean part, it was wonderful because it showed almost that even a heavenly being like Jesus can’t do anything to help the world and its inhabitants if the people themselves don’t want anything to do with being kind, respectful and loyal. In the end, it’s up to people and their priorities! Well done this is so deep and honestly I relate SO much.
If this is how you truely feel I'm quite sad for you.
Jesus has given me hope and helped me get through many dark times in my life. I have found so much joy in serving someone who loved me enough to die so that his perfect life would be counted as my own.
I hope you see his love for you someday, but as sad as it may be, He decided to leave the decision of belief up to each of us. All I can do is pray you experience his love.
May you be blessed and find joy.
Thank you for reading!
Hello, Mint! Wist here with a review. ^^
This poem represents quite an interesting take on the tale of Jesus Christ and his sacrifice for humanity's salvation. The poem's meaning is very much up to the reader's interpretation, which is a fascinating way to write a poem, so I commend you for doing that. With that said, let's look at a couple of lines from your poem.
These lines hold a deep sense of the speaker's futility, of how hard they're trying to achieve something, only for that effort to backfire. It paints a strong image of offering a cup of water that can only dehydrate you—well done!
And these lines are gorgeous. A great way to end your poem with this poignant sense of regret and create a circular ending by reusing your beginning line. It makes the poem feel substantial but also gives the reader a sense that the narrator is trapped in this state of guilt, and the poem does nothing to relieve it. It adds to the overall feeling of hopelessness and regret like nothing will be significant enough to ease the burden on the speaker's shoulders.
However, despite the well-written way of the lines, there is a slight inconsistency in how you format your lines.
This line establishes that if a sentence is spaced between two lines, the first line won't have punctuation, and the start of the second line will be lowercase. This is the case for the majority of the time. However:
This line breaks that trend with the second line remaining uppercase. So, for the sake of simplicity, I recommend you change it to match your established pattern.
Overall, this was an interesting poem with great emotional weight and only a slight formatting issue. I'm delighted to have read it, and I hope you continue to develop as a poet.
Happy Writing!
Wist