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16+ Violence Mature Content

Idol of Nightmares

by Mint


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.

intended to be lyrics to a song - based on a nightmare I had about the impending revolution <3

Also: I don’t usually correct people if they have an interpretation of my work that wasn’t intended, but this is important enough that I will not allow the perpetuation of propaganda to go unchecked if I see it.


My greatest fears already happening

to somebody else

I’m scared of war zones and cops

I’m scared of soldiers and bombs


I’m scared that I’m not strong enough do what needs to be done.


She’s in the river and sea

She’s in a black suv

She’s killing babies

And their parents

and she says it’s for me


So I’ll keep buying her guns

Because at least I can feed

And so long as I’m content

Then she won’t point them at me


I’m in the river and sea

I’m in the black suv

I’m in back I’m in the chains

that pull the economy


I’m in the rubble with you

And none of us can breathe

Because they killed you then

So they could come back for me


God bless America

From sea to shrining sea

God bless the blood that’s in my soil

Cause my veins are clean


I have dreams of war

I dream of what I see

In distant countries foreign tongues

But I still hear their screams


They plead to cameras in English

So maybe then we’ll see

You bought the bombs

That killed the girl you know you’ll never meet


You bought the war that dropped the towers

killed the olive trees

You bought your silence

Bought your comfort

And some scary dreams


But it’s real for them

It’ll be real for me

Because this god forsaken country

Only wants our money


The guns are real for them

And they’ll be real for me


And when you’re looking down the barrel

Maybe then you’ll see

We could have fucking done something

Now we all have to bleed


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Wed Jun 19, 2024 4:44 pm
EllieMae wrote a review...



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Hi there friend, Ellie here to leave you a review on this piece! Let's get right into this review :)

My greatest fears already happening

to somebody else


This was a wonderful start to the piece! It really caught my attention right from the start. You mention how this was based off of a nightmare and I think that these first two lines capture the feelings really well. I like the idea of these nightmares already existing, because we are witnessing them occur to other people. This really makes me think a lot. What did they do to deserve this and why are they not happening to me instead? What did I do to deserve this peace?

But it’s real for them

It’ll be real for me

Because this god forsaken country

Only wants our money


I enjoyed how you go between the them and me statements in this section. I noticed the rhyme you did between the me, country, and money rhymes. The switch between them and me gives me a better sense of the emotions behind this poem as well. You really touch on the uncontrollable reality that so many people in the world experience, even right now and I write this. Overall, this was a great poem and your statement were quite powerful. I encourage you to keep writing and keep sharing your voice.

Your friend,
Ellie

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Mint says...


Hi Ellie thanks for the review! I always appreciate feedback on actual line writing as well as ideas.
I do also want to point out that it%u2019s not just our brothers and sisters in other countries experiencing this, we are also experiencing the things that our country is doing to others. And if we allow this elsewhere what%u2019s to stop the violence from following us home?
Thank you for the review and encouragement!



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Wed Jun 19, 2024 7:17 am
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Corlz wrote a review...



Hi Mint,

This was excellent, well done!

I really loved the short sentences it made it feel fast paced and created a sense of anxiety to get to the next sentence, kinda like if you were at war not just physically but within yourself as well.

The amount of despair, anger and hopelessness could be felt in every word. I feel like this would make an excellent metal song lolz.

I really liked this, it's deep and raw... once again well done.

xxx




Mint says...


I really appreciate this review! First I keep coming back to the comment about it making a good metal song because that is the intention haha! I%u2019ve started and put it down so many times because I don%u2019t think I have the vocal talent to do what I want to do yet.
I also like your comment on the slime writing reading like an internal war. This wasn%u2019t something I intended but I appreciate that the feelings of that come through since war is a theme here. Thanks for the review!



Corlz says...


You are welcome!
That's fantastic, keep at it you will get there!
looking forward to reading more of your work xxx



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Wed Jun 19, 2024 6:28 am
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SoullessGinger says...



Hello, I'm Ellen!
I was going to leave a review but I think I'd rather just say that this is a raw and beautiful piece that I can tell you put a lot of feeling into. That's not something I feel needs to be reviewed. I think it's good to just pour this into writing- to process, to hold space for these incredibly difficult experiences, and to share these feelings with a creative community like YWS.

I've been feeling a lot of the same things as we watch the genocides happening in Palestine, in the DRC, Sudan, and all over the world. It's so hard to articulate and understand the rage and guilt that come from living somewhere safe (comparatively) while watching your money go to hurting people who are just like you.

I hope you know you aren't alone in that rightful rage, sorrow, and guilt. So many people, including myself, are going through the same upheaval in their lives and relearning how to exist and resist the systemic oppression we suffer under and participate in. Thank you for sharing this with this community- my inbox is always open to chat in- whether to experience this grief together and know we aren't alone, or to just have another online person who's in your corner in this.
Your feelings, your thoughts, your anger is so important. You are seen. You are loved. Keep learning and keep fighting.

Ellen




Mint says...


Hi Ellen, I really appreciate this comment. I think for a lot of us trying to cope, the heaviest emotions oscillate from sorrow to hopelessness to rage. When it gets particularly difficult I try to zone in on the rage because at least that can be productive haha. I find a lot of my writing, especially the poetry, is pretty politic heavy so it%u2019s really nice to know I%u2019m not alone in a space of creatives just trying to get feedback. I%u2019m all about community building so I super appreciate to offer of support! Keep fighting the good fight




Sometimes my life just sounds like surrealistic fiction being sold on clearance at the book store.
— J. G. Hammersmith