Young Writers Society

Colonel Ritter leaned back in his office chair, eyeing Analia’s application, which was displayed floating above his desk. “Are you sure?” he asked. “Competition in the departments on the Homeworld is fierce. Why not just stay here? You’re sure to get a good position with that degree, but over there you’re a lot more likely to start at the very bottom.”

Analia shivered - the colonel liked to keep his office cold, and the metal chair she sat on didn’t help. She forced herself to meet his eyes through the holoprojection. Remember, act professional. “Oh, I’ve always wanted to live there. I thought it would be later in my career, of course, but when I saw there was an opening, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to apply.”

The real reason, of course, was that the Absolutes had asked her to. She could gain a lot more information through the grapevine at the center of the Hundred Worlds. Rithane was an older colony, but relatively quiet politically.

“Well, all right, but at least be sure apply locally in case you don’t make it in,” he said.

“Oh, I already have,” Analia assured him. She had no intention of missing her chance for a job. Besides, I’m hoping they’ll reject me anyway.

“Good, good,” he said. “Well then, I think there’s nothing more to do here.” He submitted the application with a gesture and stood up. “Good luck.”

They shook hands and Analia moved to leave. “Send in the next person on your way out,” the colonel said.

Analia nodded, already distracted by the prospect of finally being able to go home. She had waited for her appointment for nearly an hour, and there were still several people clustered in the hallway.

She told the next person to go in and tried to hurry out, keeping her head down to try not to make eye contact with anybody. She thought she had seen Willion walk up just as Analia went in the colonel’s office, and she would rather avoid him right now. Things were a bit awkward at the moment.

But then Analia heard her name over the chatter of the other initiates. So much for that. She swallowed and turned to face Willion.

“Did you do it?” Her friend was trying to keep his expression neutral, but his wide eyes betrayed his sadness.

Analia nodded. “I…”

She was about to offer some excuse, but only the lamest came to mind. “I’ve just...always wanted to go there.”

Willion shook his head. “No. You’ve never said anything to me about it before. It was always me who wanted to go. What’s going on, Analia?”

“I just...I heard they were hiring and thought it would be a good opportunity.” The lies burned in Analia’s throat, but what else could she say? “It’s time for a new start.”

Her friend’s expression softened. “I can understand why, I mean, after your mother and Verona, but….I’m just really going to miss you, okay? I thought we were going to do this together.”

Analia felt all of Willion’s pain and more, but she still suppressed a sigh of relief that her friend had so easily provided a good reason for leaving. She swallowed the lump in her throat and said “Are you sure you can’t come? There’s still time to change the application.”

Willion shook his head “I’d never get in with my qualifications. You’re so much better qualified than me.”

“But you’ve always wanted to live on the Homeworld,” Analia said, baffled that Willion wouldn’t at least try. “We could do it together. It’ll be amazing.”

“I just can’t, okay? I was never really serious anyway - it’s just one of those things that you say and don’t really mean. I couldn’t go now.” He studied the floor.

Analia caught his arm as he turned away. “Don’t lie to me - you and I both know that wasn’t an idle wish. What’s the real reason you won’t go?”

He sighed. “Everything’s just moving too fast, okay? You go to the homeworld. I’m happy for you, I really am. But I’m staying here.”

Just then, Analia felt something change in her mind. It was like a dam had been released, and a flood of sensation returned. She felt excitement and worry and hope all washed together before receding quickly. Disorientated, it took her a moment to realize that it was Verona’s emotions she was feeling.

She stuttered out an “I’m sorry” and turned away, picking up speed as she walked until she was almost running.

She made it around a corner and stopped, leaning against a wall and trying to sort out what had happened. Why wasn’t Verona in the Blocking field anymore? And why did it have to be now of all times? She waited on tenterhooks. Should I say something?

Then she felt Verona’s message. /I love you. And I miss you. And I’m sorry./

Even as Analia fought back tears, an odd fury rose inside her. Did Verona think that would make it all right? What was Analia supposed to say back?

She waited, warring within herself. She knew not saying anything would hurt Verona, but she also just couldn’t bring herself to talk to her. They were so distant now, and Analia had so many other things to worry about. Three months ago, Analia would never have been able to imagine living without Verona by her side, figuratively if not physically. Now, too much had happened and Analia wasn’t sure their relationship was worth fixing. Maybe we should just move on.

No, she wouldn’t say anything for now. She stood up straight, her mind made up, and made sure no stray thoughts could spill over into Verona's mind. Then she walked home with head down and shoulders hunched against the cold.