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Young Writers Society



Shaping Faith: Chapter 11

by Mea


Verona sat back in her seat, arms folded, watching a clock count out the seconds in her holovision. The last three seconds seemed to take an age, then the hour number changed and class was over. Verona’s heart leapt. Now maybe she could actually practice Shaping.

She stood up and pushed her seat harder than was strictly necessary. The seats here weren’t nearly as comfortable as the ones back home. They were crudely-Shaped and looked mass-produced, but she supposed she couldn’t expect quality while they were out in the middle of nowhere.

Apparently I can’t expect quality teaching, either.

She scolded herself for being unfair. It wasn’t Shaper Mila’s fault – they had to teach the basics. Verona had just been looking forward to learning more about the Library Room, and instead they spent the whole lesson on Shaping. Beginner’s Shaping. Verona had spent most of the lesson trying to think of a way to slip into her Library without Shaper Mila noticing, but since her physical body was completely immobile while in there, she was forced to admit defeat.

To occupy herself, she had explored the depressingly limited features of her new timepiece. It didn’t amount to much more than a calendar and a mail system; even its database was very limited, and much of it seemed to be buried behind security protocols. There was no off-planet connection, of course.

Now, with a few quick gestures, she pulled up the map and told it to take her to the Shaping Room, where her job was. It hovered in the corner of her eye, the path outlined in bright red. Only the rookie section of the base was shown – that was another of the security protocols she had no idea how to get past.

She hung back for a moment, her eye on Kyle and Merea, who were walking a few steps behind her. They had been talking quietly, but looked up when Analia fell into step with them. Merea smiled at her.

“So, did you get your assignment?” Kyle asked.

“My job’s Shaping, if that’s what you mean.”

Kyle nodded. “That’s Merea’s job too. I’m in propaganda.”

“Propaganda? Why would they need propaganda?” Verona asked, curious.

“Well, it’s more the political side of things,” said Kyle. “They don’t call it propaganda, but that’s what it is. We basically run HoloWeb campaigns, write articles, things like that. To get the word out there about the changes that need to be made.”

“It’s not propaganda if it’s true,” Verona argued.

“Sure it is,” Kyle said. “It’s all in how you present it. It’s pretty fascinating as a topic, public opinion.”

Verona decided not to press the point. She supposed any persuasive argument was propaganda, to some extent. “So, what’s the Shaping job like, Merea?” she said, proud of herself for remembering the slight girl’s name.

“Oh, you’ll see when we get there. We make new equipment or repair old stuff. It’s not that exciting.”

“But it’s important work,” Kyle said, nudging her gently. “Without it, we wouldn’t have anywhere to sit.”

“We can’t ship much in from other planets,” Merea said, answering Verona’s puzzled look. “We Shape a lot of our simple furniture out of wood from the surface. And supposedly there’s bots growing food on the surface, though they won’t let us up there. Sometimes I miss the sun.”

“Wait,” said Verona, forced to rearrange her entire mental picture of their situation. “This planet is habitable?”

“Yeah,” said Kyle. “They couldn’t feed us all otherwise.”

“But – they can’t have terraformed it. That takes decades!”

“I know. That’s another thing they don’t tell us rookies. But I figure it’s one of two things – either this planet was already habitable when they found it, or it’s not nearly as ‘undiscovered’ as they say it is.”

Considering there were a handful of worlds discovered with any form of life, Verona found the first option highly unlikely. They reached the next junction, and Kyle paused. Their paths split here.

He smiled at Merea and gave her a quick hug. “Have fun,” he said. In a moment, his lanky figure was receding down the hallway.

“Does he act like this a lot?” Verona asked, watching him go.

“What do you mean?” Merea asked.

“Well, he says he agrees with the Absolute’s goals, but then he goes and points out everything that’s even the slightest bit odd. It’s like he doesn’t trust them.”

“He’s just like that,” Merea defended him. “He really does care about the cause. That’s why he’s so good at propaganda. He’s just cynical sometimes.”

They fell into silence, Verona letting Merea take the lead. Merea, a full head shorter than Verona, somehow held herself in a way that made her look even smaller than she really was.

“How old are you, Merea?” she asked quietly.

They were approaching a crowd of a couple dozen people who were waiting beside a large double door. Merea stopped beside them and looked up at Verona. “Thirteen, why?”

Verona stared at her. She had thought Merea looked young, but figured she was just small for her age. “How does a twelve-year-old wind up in this place, with no parents, no twin?”

“I’ve got Kyle,” Merea rebutted. “He takes care of me just fine.”

But what happened? Verona wondered.

Merea must have seen the mixture of curiosity and pity on Verona’s face. “Look, Verona,” she said, and her tone aged her beyond her years. “Everyone is here because they’re running from something. The Absolutes would prefer we stay on the outside, where we can actually be useful, spying or campaigning. If someone is here, they have no other place to go. So please don’t ask. With most people here, you probably don’t want to know.”

Verona swallowed, remembering all the times she’d felt sorry for herself over the last few months. Of course most of the people here would have had it worse than her. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“Don’t be,” Merea said firmly. “Feel sorry for the government. After all, it’s their fault. And we’re going to stop them.”

Verona took heart from her simple conviction, smiling. “Today we conquer Shaping, tomorrow, the Hundred Worlds.”

Merea laughed along with Verona. A moment later, the heavy doors opened and the crowd poured in. Verona peered over the heads in front of her and her eyes went wide.

The room was huge, nearly the size of entrance hallway back at school. Scattered bins of wood, scrap metal, and other building materials covered the floor around the multitude of benches that lined the hall. Stacks of bins were being wheeled precariously around the tables by other green-shirted rookies. At each bench lounged one person, body limp in the attitude of a shaper. It was a sight all too familiar. Hundreds of people labored in assembly lines like this every day back home for nearly minimum wage.

Despite her plans for a degree in Shaping, Verona had always worried that she would end up as a factory worker. Sure, you could open your own private business to specially Shape things, but it was hard to compete with the production speed and prices of larger companies. Now, just when Verona was sure she’d never have another job again, she wound up helping out in an assembly line anyway.

As Verona watched, one by one the shapers awoke from their trance, their completed pieces of work changing in an instant from lumps of metal to screws, spoons, and other small items. In real time, it had taken less than a minute, but for them, they had probably been working for half an hour. They stumbled to their feet, stretching stiff limbs – an odd side effect of using Rooms – and moved out of the way for the others to take their place.

“This is it, really,” said Merea. “There’s Shapers on duty nearly all the time, especially recently with all the new arrivals. Those clothes you’re wearing? They were Shaped by someone here. Not me, though – I do the technical stuff. Mechanical things.”

“I guess I’ll start off making simpler things?”

“Yeah, since you’re at the lowest level. But you’re so good they’ll probably promote you pretty fast. They need more people Shaping complicated things. Anyway, I’ve got to get to my spot. Yours is probably over by the wood supplies. If you can’t find it, ask someone.” She hurried away.

Sure enough, there was an empty bench among the woodworkers. Verona sat down, looking around at the others to figure out what they were shaping. A moment later, the supervisor, marked by his red shirt, noticed her. “Are you Verona?” he asked.

She nodded.

“Good, good,” he said, staring at a holoscreen Verona couldn’t see. He gestured briefly with his fingers, than swiped the holoscreen away. “You’ll be assembling small tables and chairs. Assistants will bring you the pieces – you just need to fuse them together. Can you do that?”

“Of course.” Fusing things of the same material was easy.

“Good. And just a safety tip – don’t overdo it. Once you start getting tired, take a break. We don’t want to you to get burned out. It’s not a huge rush.”

That, at least, was different from the factories. Not that Verona needed the advice – she was sure she had more stamina than most of her fellow workers.

Verona settled in and began her work. Each shaping took her about ten minutes in the Room, barely a minute real time. The helpers could hardly get her the wood fast enough. She knew the work would be monotonous later, but for now, she basked in the high Shaping brought.

Twenty minutes later, she came out of the Room and found that everyone was standing up and stretching. A break had been called. Verona tried to stand up, but a wave of dizziness washed over her and her legs shook.

Alarm shot through her. She clutched the workbench for support, fingers white against the rough wood. A headache pressed behind her eyes. She took a few deep, steadying breaths. She hadn’t overdone it like this in a long time, and had nearly forgotten the symptoms.

Lowering herself back into her seat, she cursed herself for being so careless. At least nobody noticed that embarrassment. She’d have to take it easy this next cycle.


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Wed Dec 30, 2015 7:21 pm
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Wolfi wrote a review...



Happy Review Day!!!

Hello again, Youandnovels!

They had been talking quietly, but looked up when Analia fell into step with them.

DID ANALIA JOIN THE ABSOLUTES?!? O.O (I think you got your characters mixed up...)
“He’s just like that,” Merea defended him.

That's an improper dialogue tag. Try something more like, "Marea said, defending him."

Before reading the part in this chapter about Shaping, I hadn't understood why it was a risky career choice for Verona and why some of her friends, namely her twin, didn't really want her to focus on it. Now I've seen the factory workers, and I get it. It might not matter whether Verona becomes a professional Shaper or not, if she's looking to get herself into a successful occupation. Every society needs the blue collar workers to do the dirty work, and Verona's expertise may only ensure her an immediate hire.

Most "heroes" in novels are given unusual attributes, oftentimes some unique power that sets them apart from others and leads them to experience a future of importance. So I like what you've done with Verona. Even though she has an unusual interest in Shaping (something that your readers find fascinating since it's not a part of our world), her uniqueness may not get her anywhere. But she has hope. She's a true underdog!
she basked in the high Shaping brought.

Huh?

Ah, Verona... Getting cocky, are we? That's good for her, I suppose.

This was great! I'm truly getting to understand Shaping an its uses in these recent chapters, simply because I'm seeing how it's used and not just listening to you explain it. Nice job!

Onto the next chapter!




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Sat Dec 26, 2015 8:58 pm
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Carlito wrote a review...



Hellooooo :)

General Thoughts.
Overall, I thought this chapter was interesting and well-done. I liked that you showed some interactions between Verona and Merea and Kyle. I really appreciated the little tidbit from Merea about how the people that are here are here for a reason and not to ask. I find that so fascinating and I can't wait to learn more about these characters and their histories (I'm weird and I'm a sucker for depressing/dark back stories :p).

The only bigger thing I would think about changing would be when Verona is shaping at the end. I appreciated that you kept that fairly simple because paragraphs and paragraphs of that would have been boring. But she seems to be much more advanced than the people around her. I would have liked to see more of what's going on around her. Who (if anyone) is close by? What are they working on and how fast are they working? What are the reactions of people around her to her pace? Her helpers are giving her supplies as quick as they can but what is their reaction to that? Are they annoyed, excited, surprised to see her work so quickly? Does anyone warn her that her speed might become a hindrance as she might wear herself out?

That's pretty minor though. I thought this chapter was pretty good. It was fun and interesting to read. I still feel a little bit like you're still setting up the plot. Like a bunch of exciting plot things happened in the first couple of chapters and ever since Verona arrived here I feel like the plot has plateaued a little bit. I think you could rev things up a bit more. Maybe add in another sub-plot - like maybe she has a conflict with another person there, or she gets in trouble with someone, or something. Just to get things moving a little more.

Specific thoughts.
She stood up and pushed her seat harder than was strictly necessary.[/quote]
I liked this little detail. Great way to show how she's feeling!

Now, with a few quick gestures, she pulled up the map and told it to take her to the Shaping Room, where her job was. It hovered in the corner of her eye, the path outlined in bright red. Only the rookie section of the base was shown – that was another of the security protocols she had no idea how to get past.

I'm not sure if that last line is needed. We were looking at the map and seeing a specific section, but then in the last line things are zoomed out again and referencing the whole base. I'm not sure if we need that detail right now and I think it becomes a little confusing or distracting.

Kyle nodded. “That’s Merea’s job too. I’m in propaganda.”

I find it a little surprising that the organization would actually refer to the job as propaganda. Even if that's technically what they're doing, propaganda has a negative connotation to it. Wouldn't the group want to make it sound like a good or necessary thing? Or is this just what Kyle calls it? Or does everyone recognize that it's propaganda but they feel it's a necessary and therefore okay thing?

"We Shape a lot of our simple furniture out of wood from the surface. And supposedly there’s bots growing food on the surface, though they won’t let us up there. Sometimes I miss the sun.”

“Wait,” said Verona, forced to rearrange her entire mental picture of their situation. “This planet is habitable?”

I think more explanation is needed about this world detail. So they live inside the planet? Why? What's on the surface? Why can't they go up there? I think this whole living situation should be explained a little more somehow.

“But – they can’t have terraformed it. That takes decades!”

Sometimes it helps to have an ignorant character in the story that can be used to explain world details. Like here, the character could ask what it means to terraform something - that way the reader can get their world detail questions answered without paragraphs of narration. Now, I also don't read sci-fi/fantasy very often so you're more of the expert of how these types of things are addressed. And like here, I feel like I can deduce what this means, but sometimes it's not that simple :)

“I know. That’s another thing they don’t tell us rookies. But I figure it’s one of two things – either this planet was already habitable when they found it, or it’s not nearly as ‘undiscovered’ as they say it is.”

Considering there were a handful of worlds discovered with any form of life, Verona found the first option highly unlikely.

I think you could include a little more along this narration line about what she thinks about what Kyle said. She doesn't think the first option is likely, but what about the second option? Does this change the way she sees the government or the absolutes at all?
Then do a new paragraph before the "they reached..."

“Well, he says he agrees with the Absolute’s goals, but then he goes and points out everything that’s even the slightest bit odd. It’s like he doesn’t trust them.”

“He’s just like that,” Merea defended him. “He really does care about the cause. That’s why he’s so good at propaganda. He’s just cynical sometimes.”

I'm glad this was brought up and I think this is a super interesting character detail.

The room was huge, nearly the size of entrance hallway back at school.

Another little world thing - so usually when Verona Shapes, she does it in her mind in a non-physical room. But now, she's in a real, physical room doing shaping, right? Is she going to go into that non-physical head-space room in this physical room to do the shaping or how exactly does this work now?

“Yeah, since you’re at the lowest level. But you’re so good they’ll probably promote you pretty fast. They need more people Shaping complicated things. Anyway, I’ve got to get to my spot. Yours is probably over by the wood supplies. If you can’t find it, ask someone.” She hurried away.

I don't think you need that last line. It almost makes Merea sound cold like - I don't have time to help you so if you need help ask someone else. And I don't think Merea needs to tell her to ask for help for her to realize that if she has a question she can ask for help.

Not that Verona needed the advice – she was sure she had more stamina than most of her fellow workers.

I appreciated this show of her personality, that she has a bit of a cocky side to her :)
(Especially since she gets humbled later :p)


Let me know if you have any questions or if anything I said was confusing! I'll see you in the next chapter! :D




Mea says...


You make some interesting points - like I assumed everyone would know that "terraforming" means making a planet habitable because it's a pretty common sci-fi thing. But I guess I should explain it.

About Shaping in the room...it doesn't matter what kind of room she's in, she still goes to her headspace. Everyone does. I'm a bit confused as to why you're confused, but I guess I didn't differentiate well enough between the physical room and the Room of Shaping. Basically, they give her the materials, she goes in the Room and shapes them, then comes out of the Room with a finished product.



Carlito says...


Oooooh that makes sense with the shaping thing. I'm slow with sci-fi things and I'm not always good at explaining myself :p But you answered my question!



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Sun Dec 20, 2015 4:47 pm
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Lightsong wrote a review...



Hey, I'm here to review! I'm compelled to because the world you've shown us and its people are interesting things, and one can't help but comment them! :D

Anyway, as being typical, I'm going to give technical suggestions first (not that I'm expert on it).

Spoiler! :
She stood up and pushed her seat harder than was strictly necessary.


I think this sentence can do without "was strictly". It seems clunky right now.

Now, with a few quick gestures, she pulled up the map and told it to take her to the Shaping Room, where her job was.


Erase the last comma.

She hung back for a moment, her eye on Kyle and Merea, who were walking a few steps behind her.


"eyes".

She supposed any persuasive argument was propaganda, to some extent.


Erase the comma. You have the tendency to put commas in places they don't belong.

“Does he act like this a lot?” Verona asked, watching him go.


Since Kyle's already away from them, "that" is better fit.

“Well, he says he agrees with the Absolute’s goals, but then he goes and points out everything that’s even the slightest bit odd."


I think this one should be in past tense.


Now, on to the story in terms of plot, character, and settings.

It's nice to see how these Absolutes aren't much of a too-good-to-be-true rebels who claim for justice and all, and seems like the realistic rebels you'd expect to see in real life. I like how the way they organize themselves is expanded, what with the explanation about propaganda and the overall process of shapings. It's a nice way to sink us deeper into the world you've created.

That being said, little things happened that concern the plot. Here, I'm talking about the shaping process. Its surrounding and how the workers work are interesting bits, but I want to know more Verona's thoughts on people who work like this. I understand she said about them having minimal wages, but I think it can be explored more. For example, what do she think the Absolutes should do about this, and how she relates herself to them. Perhaps thinking over this would drive her more to achieving justice and all, and it would give us more depth to her motivation.

Verona's character is developed in a good way. I like it you make the part about her being worked up in doing her job as it shows she'll give her all when it comes to doing something she needs to do.Her impatience to learn new things are also shown when she hoped Shaper Mila could teach things she didn't know instead of basic shaping, and it shows how much passion she has for this shaping thingy. I was a bit iffy about Verona apologizing to Merea - yes, her expression might say something that can offend Merea, but she doesn't say, or do, anything about it, so rather than being sorry, I'd like her to be silent to ponder about the things Merea says.

Oh well, that's all I can say for now. Keep up the good job! :D





"Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood."
— George Orwell, 1984