Young Writers Society

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that's how i laughed !! well, nothing else can be expected from Terence

This was really awesome, loved the ending and the art work. It is really good and i love it, though it would be better if you made it slightly longer but other than that i really loved it. It kinda reminded me of something my dad did a few years back but *shrugs* Oh whale... yes i made a pun

Um... well that was surprising at the end!!!!! Awesome drawing skills! I'm just a little confused that you barely got into the story and then it ended. Maybe you should make it a bit longer. With a bit more detail? Its short and confusing and you have to read it over and over again to understand what is going on. Overall awesome job. Keep up the good work!

Um... well that was surprising at the end!!!!! Awesome drawing skills! I'm just a little confused that you barely got into the story and then it ended. Maybe you should make it a bit longer. With a bit more detail? Its short and confusing and you have to read it over and over again to understand what is going on. Overall awesome job. Keep up the good work!

Love the artwork and it was really funny. Great job!

So, I also do comics. I like your style of art but it could be done a bit better. Better proportions and characters positioned a bit better. I mean I thought when her head was near his upper torso that she would be near that size of him, but in the next scene you show she is smaller. This can throw readers off a lot especially in comics. This might come off as negative but many people will certainly be detracted from your work if the proportions of the characters are not constant and change. I know this, because I had the similar problem when I was younger. But just keep practicing and eventually you'll figure this proportions thing all by yourself.

One other thing, I'm sure your actual intent of this comic. But given that you post this on a site for writers could mean that you want a near detailed emphasis on the happenings and appearances. An actual visual novel that is like a novel but visual. However given that its supposed to be funny, maybe not. But in the case that you actually want to do a story that is essence, a visual novel. You would want to space out the panels and action to where there is no confusion of what is happening. This comic does not give much imagery of the world which they live nor the background context before introducing a main character. You could have showed a bunch of people chatting in the bar before you zoomed in on the dude. After you zoomed in on the dude you could have introduced his view of his friend chatting away. And then the girls talking about him and so on. What I am saying, is that your short handed fast approach works on funnies but will fail if you try to do anything else using the same approach you did here. But that's all I have to say.
It may be negative but all you have to do is see the potential in your work and yourself to do better. Pushing forward and practicing is the only way to get better.
well good day, carddragon.

Hey, Margo!

Stopping by here with a few of my thoughts on this piece. Yes, it is funny - or rather, in my opinion, has that potential. The idea you have here is quite original and starts to tickle the funny bone, so I know it could be hilarious. And your drawing skills! You're incredible. I think if you continued this and expanded your comics, you could make a strip. I'd read it.

My problem with this piece, and why it wasn't funny to me, was that you told us everything. You didn't allow for the reader to come to a conclusion, but had the characters say it all out-loud. My issue with the piece is only with the last strip - right at the ending of it. The last thing the girl said, in my mind, could be omitted and the rest of the comic strip edited to accommodate that. You said too much here. If you pared it down and allowed the reader to draw a conclusion and find the humor themselves rather than throwing it in their faces, I think this would be more than mildly humorous, but downright hilarious.

My suggestion? Fix the second to last strip so the card is more centered in the picture, and so we can read the card fully and see what it means. Then have him say only "Call me when you're ready" - done. No more is necessary. When the girl repeated what we already knew from reading the card, it made it only slightly humorous rather than bust-up-laughing funny. Borrowing a great line from Mockingjay and twisting it, a way to ruin a joke is to use up all the air in the room. Only say what you need to say, and let your amazing humor take care of the rest. c:

~Darth Timmyjake

Ahahahaha that was hilarious!!!
Not only the ending but also the part when he says "how very observational of you".
I loved your drawings as well. Detailed enough to keep the reader focused.
This could continue a little more though. I would have loved to see what happened next.
But I also think funny ending is just good.
Keep up the great work!

I'm laughing right now, that was hilarious.

The visuals were great; I envy people who can sketch this well, not just the characters, but the environment as well. It wasn't too simple or too complicated, and it didn't distract me from what was going on.

The storyline was short and simple, to the point. I really enjoyed it. (That poor woman, though! Hahaha)

Overall, I think you did a great job:)

Happy Review Day!!!

How cool is this?! I've never read a comic on YWS before! I just saw the cover page too, it's amazing!

Your strong points are faces and hands, which is very impressive. Usually those two things are what artists need the most work on, but clearly not you. Just look at that hand in square seven - wow! If anything, you could probably study the anatomy of human arms a little better. In some squares, the arms are too stiff or too unrealistic.

Let's look at the very first square. Is the main character sitting at a bar there? At first I thought he was hanging over a staircase or something. Maybe you could add a drink on the bar table? It's kind of cool though, how you set that square up. A more important issue with the first square is the order in which the women are speaking. In comics, it's important to have the first comment on the left and the second on the right (reading from left to right), but I think you switched their order here.

In the first few squares, your shading is lacking, particularly in the clothing and the hands. You shaded the faces of the men perfectly, though!

Overall, lovely storyline and great drawings! You are a very skilled artist and I'm already eagerly awaiting the next comic. Keep drawing, MargoSuess!

Wow wow wow. You are a brilliant sketcher!

Hey, Will here.

Firstly, wow. You draw amazingly well.

Secondly, I love how you put so much character development into just a few scenes. You can pick out how Wilson would be as a friend and also how Terence would be with his haircut, and his reactions.

Thirdly, I love the storyline. Short, simple, sweet.

Well that's it. I will be looking for more. I love this sort of work. Thanks for providing another great read to YWS.

-willachilles

HEY

hahahahahahahahahahaha I must say it was really funny and good. You really sketch well and I really like cartoons as they remind me of my childhood memories. I was crazy for cartoons and used to be on TV all the time. I used to love cartoon network and my favorite cartoon series was Tom and Jerry. I feel that cartoons have a great impact in ones childhood as some people love and some hate or get scared. I believe that everyone should at least try to sketch what they desire the most in their life as I will help them to concentrate on it more deeply. I really loved your work and will be waiting see more like this in future. keep rocking and sketching