Sacrificial

by Lumos

Published August 18, 2017

12+

In Short Stories

The farmer cast a weary glance at the sky. It was bright, blue, and not a cloud in sight. Some days, he would tip his head back and scream. Sometimes the sky would rumble back, but not today. He couldn’t remember the last time it rumbled.

There hadn’t been a drop of rain in months. His crops were dying, and so was he.

With a disgruntled sigh, he started toward the barn but stopped when he remembered Betty Sue wasn’t there anymore. A month ago, he’d taken the old cow to the middle of his field and slit her throat, blood soaking the dry dirt. It tore at his heart, listening to her harrowing last moos. He tipped his head back, eyes rimmed with tears, voice cracking, and yelled at the sky, “Is this what you want? Does this make you happy?”

That night, for the first time in months, he fried a steak over the fire. He stared at his plate for hours, unable to justify eating his best friend. When the thought disgusted him too much, he sold what was left of Betty Sue to Miss Nesbitt down the road. Then he bought a cow from the butcher.

His sacrifice of Betty Sue went unnoticed. There was still no rain.

The day she came, he was rummaging through the barn, sorting the junk that might be sellable. She was beautiful, as goddesses always were. His eyes blurred when he looked right at her, as if he were staring cross-eyed. He blinked, focusing on the wall behind her and watched from the corner of his eye. She had bright red lips and long, dark hair hung in loose curls. She reminded him of his wife when she was young.

“You are frustrated. You ask for rain, but none comes,” she said. Her voice was sweet and melodious, and he leaned closer, wanting every word.

“Yes, I offered you a sacrifice. Is that not enough?”

“No,” she said. His heart sank – he had nothing left to give. His wife had died years ago, and he’d sacrificed his only cow. “You love this land, yes? Give something of true value, and your land will flourish.”

He stepped back, hand over his heart. “Betty Sue was all I had left! She was valuable.”

Her image flickered, fading away. “Try again,” she whispered and was gone.

….

Weeks passed with no sight of rain. There was nothing more he could possibly offer, except for the few chickens that wandered around, but they were skinny and useless. Every plant in his field was dead, shriveled under the suns dry heat. His heart was heavy with the loss of Betty Sue, and he often spent the evenings in the barn, staring vacantly. He would snap out of his daze when the sky had grown dark and the crickets and frogs sang. Eventually, he would force himself to to bed, but sleep never seemed to come, tossing and turning.

Miss Nesbitt visited once in attempt to lift his spirits. She told him about the TV she’d just bought and all the different programs she could watch and how interesting they were. He grunted in response, and eventually she left, leaving both of them hopeless. The farmer didn’t trust that technology, and he never needed it before. Plus, most of the buttons and screens were confusing and he would easily become frustrated. He knew because Miss Nesbitt’s grandchild showed him once. He preferred things the old fashioned way, and he much preferred being left alone.

Finally, the cold unrelenting clamp on his heart snapped and the first tear fell. And then the next. Until he was sobbing. He curled in bed, letting the sobs rack his body.

When his eyes ran out of tears, he quietly picked himself up, retrieved the shovel from the barn and began digging. He enjoyed the stretch of his muscles, the way they tensed and sored. It meant he felt something.

He dug for hours – until the hole was wide enough and long enough. He climbed in hole, laid down, and began piling dirt on his torso. Once his legs and stomach were covered, he let the dirt fall over his face. It was damp and cool and every crevice of his body filled with it. Eyes. Ears. Mouth. Suffocating.

He let the dirt squeeze the air from him, until there was nothing but comforting darkness left.

….

“He buried himself,” Miss Nesbitt said. “Don’t know how he did it.” She shook her head in disbelief and watched as they dug up his body.

They placed a white sheet over his body and loaded him in the back of a car - to be properly buried. The farmer had no children or family, so it was only Miss Nesbitt and a few others who gathered around his grave. As they were saying their last prayers and goodbyes, it began to rain. Slowly, at first, and then harder until it was down pouring. They huddled under the tent placed over the grave, listening to the rain bounce off the plastic.

“Always rains at funerals,” the gravedigger muttered as they lowered the casket.

The news anchor anxiously wiped her brow, waiting to go on air for the first time.

“On air in three, two one…”

She sat straighter, focusing on the teleprompter, and began, “ It’s been a very dry summer so far, with a record low amount of rain. It looks like last week's prediction of rain is coming true thankfully. We'll see rain every day, however there will be the possibility of flash flooding…”

....

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

[b]A few questions: What did you think of think of the ending? Did you see it coming? There was supposed to be a "twist" but I'm not sure if really conveyed it right or if it was confusing. Thanks![/b]

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
tigeraye
Review
tigeraye wrote a review Review · Sep 2, 2017

I adore the concept behind this story. Farming is not at all a relaxing, easy job, it's bone-shattering, back-snapping work. But while you capture the basic idea of what farming really is, I don't quite think you captured the entire essence. First off, farmers have to keep up with the latest technology, or else they're going to lag behind. The main character here is basically working on an entire farm all by himself, too stubborn to keep up with the latest agriculture technologies, yet this is an idea that you don't really bring to the forefront. This farmer should be in utter agony. But the only pain he really shows is slight, mopey depression.

Basically, a farmer that hates new technology and prefers being left alone is unusual. Farming is a team effort. But, that's not the problem in the forefront, which is strange.

“He buried himself,” Miss Nesbitt said. “Don’t know how he did it.” She shook her head in disbelief and watched as they dug up his body.


I don't think that line is necessary -- your readers have a head. They can tell via the detail you gave alone that he buried himself.

In regards to what the ending was: I don't think it's confusing, but I'm not sure what it means. Are you saying that human life is more valuable than cow life? What makes this man's life valuable wasn't really established. His own stubbornness was what was causing his farm to fail. Most experienced farmers know how to survive droughts, so what was the reason he didn't?

In short, I really love the direction you're going in, but there are a lot more angles to look at here that are basically ignored.

Lumos replied · Sep 2, 2017

Hi SunsetTree! I grew up on a farm and I agree - farmers are very up to date on technology. It's actually rather amazing. That wasn't really the point, but I can see what you're saying!

I had a different idea for the farmer here (maybe not the most realistic idea) - he grew up without all the technology and thought he didn't need it. Especially after his wife died he became more withdrawn.

Perhaps it's a bit far-fetched and silly, and it's helpful to have somebody point out the flaws like that.

Thanks for the review!

User avatar
PastelSlushie
Review
PastelSlushie wrote a review Review · Aug 19, 2017

Hello, Lumos! PastelSlushie here for a review. Let's get right into it!

First I will answer your question that you have at the end. First, the ending was definitely something I wasn't expecting to come. The story actually had me a tiny bit bored until I got closer to the end when the farmer buried himself. Before that, the only part I found interesting was how he killed his cow in return for rain.

However, while reading this, I sort of predicted the farmer would commit suicide at some point in this story. The way you worded his emotions, actions, and words sort of made it predictable. However, I didn't see the funeral and news reporter coming up. I sort of guessed it would end with him dying.

The farmer's personality is somewhat of a cliche for a story like this. I haven't read any stories about farmers, but farmers in real life have these same type of personalities when there is no rain for an extended amount of time. If I were writing this, I would suggest making him move to another farm, and then go on from there. You could make a second part to it, you could even make it a short story series!

All in all, I enjoyed this. You have a good grasp of a plot and you seem to have a good sense of a plot twist in this story. The farmer's personality is a tiny bit cliche, but him committing suicide, the funeral, and the news reporter was a nice twist to a cliche plot.

Feel free to send me a message if you have any questions or disagree with anyone with my review. Best of luck in your future writings.

Pastel

Lumos replied · Aug 19, 2017

Thanks for the review! The twist isn't that he died, it was that it was going to rain whether or not he committed suicide, hence the funeral and the news reporter at the end. I was afraid that I didn't write that part clearly.

I grew up on a farm, and farmers are definitely not like this (most of them believe in technology and watch the news lol). The farmer in this story is very old, very cranky, and set in his ways, which is why he feels hopeless. He just simply doesn't want to change (which, ironically, is why he decides to commit suicide. If he would have watched the news, he would have seen that rain was in the future.)

Thanks again for the review! It definitely was helpful! :) I'll need to put on my thinking cap and rework it, especially the ending.

User avatar
RainaDee
Review
RainaDee wrote a review Review · Aug 19, 2017

So, before I make my review, I'm going to answer your questions. To the first one, I liked the ending very much, it was a little sad and I also enjoyed the irony of it all and how it left you wondering if he was the one who caused the rain or if it was just coincidence. To your second question, yes and no. I saw the suicide coming because of the hoplessness and depression, however I didn't see the funeral happening, nor the news reporter. All in all it was good and gave me the feels. I enjoyed the story, in its self and now I kind of wonder if the farmer was a little crazy... Also, I want to know how his wife died; did she pass away from old age? I mean how?! Anyways, I like your story and would like to see another one.

Lumos replied · Aug 19, 2017

Hi RainaDee - thanks for the review!

The irony was that it was going to rain whether or not he committed suicide. He was probably a bit on the crazy side.

I haven't given his wife much thought, but the farmer himself is old. So, I would just say she died from natural causes/old age. Perhaps I could add that to the story, which might give the reader a better understanding of his age.

Thanks again! :)

You're welcome! Glad to be able to help! :)



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