Young Writers Society

i simply loved your poem! i don't know whether this is your first attempt at archaic writing, but this is really good. the exiled person would be one who doesn't complain about his position, one who simply seeks company, who wants to be reminded of home but wasn't want anyone else to suffer with him.
especially these words, " do not seek me, thou art far better off there...... nay, thou art far better with a roof over thine head... a quill to paint it in my mind, lest ever i should forget"
this brings out his feelings and emotions so well!! i would like to see more such poems, hardly anyone can make a archaic poem so beautiful

Hey, Doug here to review you.
I really liked your poem here. It wasn't complicated, even though you used the olden style writing. I felt like it was deep, and had a nice "sit back and think" feel to it. I don't see anything wrong with it, you must've either gotten lucky or did a lot of work on it. Either way, congrats, and I'd like to read more!

I like the fact you are trying to adopt an archaic writing style.
The use of olden day language really helps make this piece seem authentic. Such as with:'I have not forgotten thee; not a day would pass

When I will not wonder of you, and wonder, and wander still
'

You manage to sustain the same style throughout, which I imagine to be quite difficult.

No spelling or grammar mistakes that I spotted.

Just love this piece so much I don't want to criticise. Kudos. XD

Hiya! I'm Genesis, and I'll be doing you a review today! First off, it was a good thing I read Niteowl's review first, because I simply didn't understand some of the words during this. The Old English in this poem helps make this really stand out in my opinion, which is a good thing. From what I read this sounds like a Love Letter, which I absolutely adored. I believe this is another poem that could be turned into a novel that has a heavy focus on the romance. But that is my opinion, I don't know what to really look for in terms of spelling since I don't really know Old English that well. So I'm going to skip over that, I agree with Niteowl and will say this could use some punctuation. But besides that, this piece is flawless.

I'm Genesis and I'm sorry if this review is terrible, but I'm working on it, I promise!

Hi there LaughingHyena!

Overall, I usually really don't like when people try to write in "old-timey" language, as it usually looks painfully awkward. However, I must say this turned out pretty natural-sounding for the most part. There was also some lovely imagery. Just a few comments:

Of the creows that perch in the branches, the violet heather

Has it changed much? Whom shalt thou go to

In such a place as so to call home to?

When I will not wonder of you, and wonder, and wander still