Maybe we'll know
if our lives end
when our mind stops,
but it all depends
on the last words
of a lost friend;
you were the last line
of an old trend
when her lifeline
took a sharp bend
so you just watch now,
because you can't defend
someone who won't hear
which means she won't mend
and yet you composed
what she must know
but your signal's low
and it won't send
*
maybe the sky has already fallen
and we just never bothered to look up
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140,159 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
Hey I'm here to leave a review
I loved this poem, yes the style is different but honestly its like a breathe of fresh air. There is a lyrical vibe to this poem and I really love the rhyming pattern, it seems very natural and lets the ideas flow easily between one line and the next. I appreciate the time and thought you dedicated towards this, it really shows, very good work.
Your use of diction is very good, it brings out the message more and makes it enjoyable to read. The last two line are what really made this poem amazing. I love how they just make the reader stop, think and re read this all over again. Also the fact you kept them as the last two lines really lets the meaning behind them to just speak for themselves.
Overall great work!
Continue writing please, I look forward to reading more.
~RS.
Thank you!
Hi LaughingHyena!!!
This is Eros to write review for your beautiful writing style!!!
Good job! You are a wonderful Young Writer. I am deeply influenced by your writing style. This was really beautiful. It has a nice theme. And your choice is very apt. I liked it.
I also like the rhyme scheme of the poem.
End,
Depend
Friend,
Trend,
Bend,
Defend,
Mend,
Send!!!
It was written with aa natural meanig. You have not pulled or pushed the sentences to make or rather, maintain the rhymin scheme of the poem. Rather, you have chosen the correct and appropriate words with a very good rhyme. I like to see that you have that art... that talent. I really appreciate your work.
Keep writing...
For we all love to keep reading them... !!
Thank you! I was kind of unsure how this would turn out as the style is slightly different to what I'd normally use, so I'm glad you like it
It was really unique. Keep it up!
I like this a lot, actually. It has a very lyrical rhythm to it that is very catchy when I read it in my head. This makes me think, and not a lot of poetry does that to me!
Thank you!