Words, when spoken, last just seconds
Print can last a hundred years
Message boards to strangers beckon
Phone calls only to your ears
Mocking sneers may sting just slightly
Emails fester, ooze and bleed
Teasing laughs are taken lightly
Not so when retold on screens
Faceless punisher, at your keyboard
Say it to my face, I pray;
Spoken scars may heal with patience
Written wounds forever stay.
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IP address:
Canary word: Present
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139,565 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
The use of language in this piece is very striking.
'Emails fester, ooze and bleed' = great imagery for the reader.
'Faceless punisher' = something tells me you feel very passionate about the ideas contained in this short piece.
It really packs a punch to read.
Great job.
I like this, I think it perfectly captures the feeling people get when they have an experience with cyber-bullying. People act like it's no big deal and laugh it off like you can just delete things and be over it, but what's the first thing people say before someone uses the internet for the first time? "Everything you do is there forever."
As for my critiques:
The use of very little punctuation throws me off a bit. I feel like it should consistently bare or mild, but you sort of threw it at the last few lines.
I like the style and how it feels sort of detached (no real narrative, no specific language, etc.) if that's what you intended, it's good because it fits the tone of the poem really well.
This is a beautiful poem. I didn't think it was upbeat or lively at all. Cyberbullying and nasty comments online are a pretty serious thing. Ordinarily, the lack of punctuation would bug me. The thing is, you seem to be a professional "punctuation leaver-outer" because even without a lot of punctuation, you made this poem flow beautifully. I loved the rhyme. It didn't seem forced at all. I loved the central idea you incorporate of words vs. print. It really captured how mean comments and betrayal online can hurt more than words sometimes. You also disrupt the rhyme scheme once in the second to last line with the word "patience". Ordinarily, it would bug me. But again, you managed to make it flow perfectly. How long have you been writing poetry? You can't be a beginner because you disrupt the rhyme scheme and leave out punctuation but still manage to make this simple poem so amazing.
hello! beeyaay here for the review, actually, just call me bee!
firstly, the change of flow of this poem is quite interesting, not too much of emotion here (that may be personal).
punctuation; you use or rather lack of use of it, is reducing the liveliness here. it has a modern feel to it (which i didn't think much about in poems until this).
over all, this is pretty good, i have learned a few techniques from this so keep it up!