Attention Seeker

by Lael

Published December 1, 2018

E - Everyone

In Poetry

Comments & reviews · 9
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Lib
Comment
Lib commented Comment · Dec 30, 2018

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Lib
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Lib commented Comment · Dec 30, 2018

That made me laugh out loud!!!

"I'm hungry!
(Shhhh! I know!)"

XD

Keep on writing!

~Liberty500

Lael replied · Dec 30, 2018

Thanks for reading! :)

Lib replied · Dec 30, 2018

No problem! :)

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hermione2001
Review
hermione2001 wrote a review Review · Dec 7, 2018

This made me laugh out loud. Seeing the title I thought this would be about a person who was an attention seeker but finding out it was about one's stomach made it ten times better!!! I love your thoughts in the parenthesis it adds more character and makes the poem SUPER relatable. It is so embarrassing to have your stomach grumble when it is completely silent! LOL:):) Keep writing can't wait to hear more!!!

potatoefry2001 wrote a review Review · Dec 4, 2018

Hey there!! Thank you for the smile you have just put on my face! I have been writing a lot of depressing things, and really needed the smile you put on my face! This piece is totally relatable to me in my life!! Thank you so so so much for sharing it!!! Also, if you have not already, I suggest my three poems for you to read and review. Hurt, Pain Pain, and FInal Places. Please be honest and tell me what you really think. Anyways, Have a great day!

potatoe out :)

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RowenaLynn
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RowenaLynn commented Comment · Dec 2, 2018

This is really cool! So. Relatable. 😂
Have a good day

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promptlyby12
Review
promptlyby12 wrote a review Review · Dec 2, 2018

Hi! This is really good! And really hilarious! I've reviewed 7 poems today, and all of them were really emotional/thought provoking/serious, i really needed a poem like this a lot; simple, straightforward, funny and 'feel good'. The use of onomatopoeia and brackets is really good and adds a lot to the poem, I also really love the flow of it.
Well done!
Have a good day!

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Samhain
Review
Samhain wrote a review Review · Dec 1, 2018

OML HAHA. This is hilarious! I love it! Can you add more to it?
I think this is the first I've seen a poem with onomatopoeias in it - excellent execution.
I love a good humor in poetry - so many poems that I read (and write) are all morbid and depressing - this one is like totally the definition of high school emotional pettiness in a humorous way! So relatable!

Lael replied · Dec 2, 2018

Thanks for the review! Since I wrote this on a whim because I was hungry, I don't really intend to add more to it, but who knows, maybe I'll write another one of these sometime. And I agree - a lot of poems (including a good portion of my own) are depressing, so I try to write positively when I get inspiration. Anyways, glad to see that you're already getting into reviewing!

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Dossereana
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Dossereana commented Comment · Dec 1, 2018

Sorry mad a miss take again

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Dossereana
Review
Dossereana wrote a review Review · Dec 1, 2018

Hi there @Lael I am here to do a review on you work, okay so first I can say that this is a grate length.
I am not shore about this
the first thing is the first and the second and the 21 and 22 lines you have said the same thing twice in the line as in the line were you said, burn, burn. that is the same thing twice I do not really think that it should go like that.
okay next this I am not really shore what agony means for I have never herd it before. also I am not really shore were the person is right now. like I feel like there should be more feel and touch in evolved and more of were they are, I mean they could be in a room, or they could be in an office, or they could be in there on class room with there teachers. I can say that your riming is very good here nice work on that.
So that is all that I can say, so keep up the good work here, and if I came a cross as being a bit hard I am very sorry.

@EagleFly out to seek and kill

Lael replied · Dec 1, 2018

Thanks for the review! The repetition is my stylistic choice and this was my attempt at doing the perspective of my stomach (everything in my own perspective is in parentheses and italicized). Anyways, I appreciate that you took time to look over my work! :)

thank you for your time to explan this a bit



Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness.
— Lemony Snicket