True Love

Emotions are tricky things, even for short story writers such as myself. Poetry allows for these ghosts to wander freely on pages without the hassle of storylines or hooks, but that does not exempt it from being devoid of emotions.

Let me say it once and leave it at that: the emotions of the author does not matter unless the audience feels it. You are a translator to the soul, and if you can't make your audience feel anything, it's time to try again. As for this, it could probably pack a punch if it wasn't for the fact that it's a) too vague to justify the b) conventional topic. Here's a funny little tip; to relate to a wider audience, focus all your attention on moving one person. In this case, probably you. Humans are empathic to a fault. If you try to please everyone, it'll render your writing stale and vacant of personality, but if you decide to leave it as a singular being it becomes an acceptable individual in the eyes of society.

The others have had their say, so I'll end with something positive: love is as universal as it is bottomless. Even with my hatred of romance, even I have to admit I'd be stupid to think that I can avoid love in its purest form. You have picked the widest and probably most conflicting topic in the universe, and this gives you an edge. Do not be afraid to go deeper than the cliches. You say you didn't believe anything they said about love--what is it about this person that changed your mind? Why don't you want to fall in love with this person, yet you can't fight it? How would you describe the pain? This topic has been talked about countless of times, but never let that make you think it's impossible to make it your own. Your pains and your affairs are yours and yours alone, and that's what's going to sell this.

There's nothing wrong with filling the word with silly love songs. Just make sure you understand why it's silly, and why we deserve to have a little more of it than we should.

Signing out. --EM.

Hello! I like the idea of the poem, but I didn't feel a lot of emotion behind it. It feels like you gave the gist of your relationship rather than share actual moments you two shared emotionally. When you mention the memories that flooded back I feel it would be nice to mention a few of those memories just as an example. I like the idea, just need to put the emotion into it. =]

This is Yams here for a review!

First off, the poem doesn't have any stanzas which may have been because of the Yws formatting system and I will link this to you so you can put them into stanzas by editing/just to do it for next time:

How to Format Poetry

I suggest you read this to become familiar with the coding Yws uses.

Onto the actual content of the poem: It's already been done. There've been a million love poems done before exactly like this and it just feels really tired out with the whole thing with "True love" and "Cupid" going on. I think it would be better if you put your personal experiences in as to make it more unique instead of just feeling like the poem belonged to no one. There have been a million love poems floating around out there and you have to own yours to make it stand out.

It feels dramatic--like every other love poem-- and I just wish it was something else because we've heard this poem a million times.

Have a great day!