*Author's Note: My family is down for the count with the flu this week. It's during the school day, but I'm watching "Legends of the Guardians" with my two littlest siblings, eating chicken noodle soup. Our microwave is broken, so it's cold chicken noodle soup. Yuck. At least I don't have a fever anymore. Later today, I have to wrap presents for my brother's birthday today. Joy. Enjoy the chapter!*
I blink. Where…? The wish! I sit bolt upright. It’s like… passing through water? No, Jello. Wait, am I floating again? Huh? I look around, and blink when I see a body below me. It looks familiar… could that be me? If so, let me just say: I look awesome in this other world.
Great. Putting two and two together, I think I just died again. That is probably bad for my health, dying twice, but I’m more concerned with the fact that I haven’t even started my adventure in this life yet! No one’s made me go wherever people go when they’re dead though, so I decide to stick around.
Terminal illness. Those words float up to me, and make me realize that in my confusion, I missed the fact that I wasn’t alone. Two other people seemed to be in the room with me. The one talking seems to be a nurse, so I settled down to hear what she had to say.
“It seems unlikely she will be able to get a transplant in time. As soon as she entered the coma, it became impossible. They look for somewhat healthy people so that they can be sure the patient’s body won’t reject the organ. I’m sorry.”
The other woman started to cry, and the nurse left her alone in the room with me. The woman immediately stopped crying, and smirked. “One down, two to go.”
Huh? My eyes furrowed. If it weren’t for the fact that I heard the nurse say the words, ‘terminal illness’, I would have thought that this lupine-looking girl had been vindictive enough to have killed me. After all, when she looked at my pale body lying on the bed like that, I couldn’t help but be reminded of the cat that ate the canary. Ironic, for someone who looked like my puppy from my other life. Rogers always tried to eat the cats in our neighborhood.
“Oh Tab,” she sighed, then chuckled. “You were so hopeful that we would be able to get along. ‘If only for our parents' sake’. You were so whiny. When all the royal children die from the same ‘disease’, it will be considered a hereditary disease. From your mother’s side of course. No one will suspect poison. After all, why not just kill everyone, starting with the king? It makes no sense to kill only the children, right? I’ll be next in line for the throne, and your old man’s getting on in the years. I have no problem waiting a bit for the crown.”
“Wow. So you killed me for a reason I have no control over? Real mature,” I snorted out before I could stop myself.
She looked up with wide eyes. Okay, so I can be heard. And seen apparently. Good to know. Maybe the guy from earlier made a mix-up? I’m still here, and I can affect the physical world, so maybe?
“You know what they say about female dogs, don’t you?” She snarled. I had no problem with this chick, because I wasn’t really in that body when it happened, but I was curious. I was able to be seen and heard. Could I be felt too?
I floated down and raised my hand to slap her. My hand passed right through her face. How disappointing.
She smirked. “You can’t hurt me. You’re dead. Or close to it, anyway. This changes nothing. I kill your sisters, then maybe I bring in a priest to make sure you find peace or whatever.”
That made my blood boil. “You already did what you wanted to me, but now you’re going after my siblings?! I’m gonna mess you up real bad!” This time, when I raised my hand to smack her, I did so with the rage I built up just thinking about her toxicness being around my sisters, let alone the fact that she was planning to murder them. This time, my hand connected with her face, sending her reeling. Her head snapped back, and I found pleasure in the outline of my hand rapidly turning her cheek red.
Huh. So they can feel me too. Maybe I can still be of help to the girls.
“So, I can hurt you. I’m positive you can’t hurt me, so I can keep you from them. Guess I will foil your plans. Not that I really care. Adieu.” I said flippantly, floating down to touch my feet to the floor. With a tip of my imaginary hat, I walked out of the room. I’m good at driving people mad when I want to.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,005 Literary Works • 672,797 Reviews
Ok so WHAT THE HECK?!?!?!?!
Who the Heck is Tabby?! AND WHO THE HECK IS THAT WITCH?!?!?!?!!?
Callie:
Did she turn into someone named Tabby? I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!!! How many times can she die? Did she just die again?
The witch who killed her:
Ok what the Heck is her problem? Why does she want to kill them all? Is it so she ca rule or something? And also what a stupid idea telling your enemy your pla!
Hello!
WHAT, what kind of person kills animals( I am guessing that what this person was, going to have to read the other parts)
I am guessing that this animal is a cat or was a cat, as they can have multiple lives. but it seems that this one is a different animal every time it gets a new life?
As well as engaging me at this crazy woman's plans this story it also cracked me up.
That last part made me laugh.
There isn't much for me to review here, grammar and punctuation are good.
I can't wait to see what happens next!
-Lady Mysterio
I usually write this story late at night, or early in the morning, just because the story came from a dream, so most of it is just what exhausted me would find funny. I dreamt of Lilith right after watching a Disney movie, so I felt the need to add a bad guy that's intention were bad but ways of doing it were half-baked. I'm glad you like the story, and Lilith. I don't know what Calliope is going to be yet, so I've purposefully left out any sort of description so far, but will add one eventually. Thanks for reviewing and hope to see another one on another chapter!
Hello
Now I read Intangible Part 1 to really get what is happening in this part, and let me just say, that it's a great story you have here. Not only I didn't spot any mistakes but the story just runs so smoothly. Though I would like it if you described a bit more, it could help us familiarize with your characters better.
Both Part 1 and 2 I found were short, because I kept reading it so fast, wanting to just read without once stopping. The storyline is incredibly interesting, but I am a little confused about Callie or rather Tab's new life. I mean is she a princess now and a ghost too? I would really like to be clarified on that.
In general, I think your story is beautiful. I really admire Callie's tough and rumble attitude, the love she has for her siblings is so touching. I can't wait to read Part 3.
Keep it up!
Hello, I just read your review. The answer to your question is yes (well, slightly). Tabby is having an out-of-body experience, but because this life, here, isn't really her own (she sacrificed herself in an alternate reality), so she's not focused on that. She isn't a superficial characters, so while she thinks it is cool she's royalty, she really only cares about her sisters. Since this is told from her point of view, I felt I had to add the information in a way Tabby would tack it on, like an afterthought or something. I hope this helps!
Indeed it does. Thank you
Hellooo, writerkitty here with another review for ya! ^^
Okay, I really like the main character, she's selfless, kind, caring, sassy, sarcastic and a tad funny, what more can you ask for? XD
I did find this chapter slightly confusing at first, I knew she won't be able to get back to her own body because god did mention that she'd be sent to a different realm/ dimension, but the fact that made me confused is because she's not yet fully alive.
The way I understand it, she's been transferred to a different life where she's dying again, but this time due to a different cause. And she's also a princess.
But, this time, she's given a chance to save her siblings from that evil person who's trying to poison and kill them before it's too late.
The god repeatedly mentioned that she should try not to die, so if she completely detaches from this body, it'd be game over for her?
Okay, enough about the questions, I really like your writing style, it's really easy to grasp and the little bits of humour you added here and there, really lightens up the dark aspect of the story.
My only suggestion is that when you're writing dialogue and description, it'd be easier for the reader if you wrote it like this,
(this is just a suggestion ^^)
Overall this is a really intriguing chapter and I can't wait to read the rest!
Keep writing,
writerkitty!! ^^
I just saw your review. Thank you for the compliments! I was looking for the quote, and thought it looked the same. Took me ten minutes of rereading to see it. Thank you. I'm implementing it, if you don't mind!