It’s the superficial lies
That rule their superficial lives
Who really cares about what she buys
Or what stupid car she drives
It’s only the face they see
The body and the hair
It’s always about ‘me, me and me’
the ‘hot’ men they ensnare
They say they’re not a label
But then again aren’t we all?
Dying by the dressing table
Living in a shopping mall
Maybe I’m being too hard
You say I don’t understand
But it’s me that has been marred
With my makeup brush in hand
It's quite short, I rarely rhyme in poetry. Please critic !
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,597 Literary Works • 673,549 Reviews
i liked it but wasn't there saposed to be commas or periods to to a line and idea?
It's quite good considering that it actually rhymed (I could never write a rhyming poem, they seem to hate me).
I quite like the message that it brought out to me: How people never see beauty beyond the skin.
The flow in this poem's not bad either. Although, I think it could be a bit better.
But overall, good job!
Hehehehe this is great byou feally are pretty good at rhyme. Thats my favorite form actually. This is really really good, but (maybe im just stupid) what specificly is this about? I understnd the general theme, but not the specific one.
I really enjoyed reading this. It's a little abrupt? But you should play with rhyming words like that more often, you've surely got the knack for it.