School time dreaming of places I have never been
As the trolley hits the make shift wall at a velocity of 5m per second
Of places I have seen, in dreams I walk through
The corridors pushing my way though the crowd to get to
A secret place hidden in the bamboo, somewhere
Where you must be quiet or it’s
DETENTION
A short poem. I feel like extending it but lack the inspiration. Please tell me what you feel . Thank you!
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Hey Jenn! The only thing I could think of would be to add another couple of stanzas, because it feels like you start off great, and then ditch us at the start of a good story.
Sorry I can't help you more! Keep it up!
I liked the poem. I just can't relate because all of our teachers never send people out of the room(ISS/Detention, etc), they just yell at the class for 40 minutes...
Maybe add in a stanza about dozing off?
That's all I got!
Yes, 5 meters per second is very fast for a trolley, not that i think about it. But then again in physics class me have to simplify things to make it more manageable. Teacher says " Look, let's pretend there's no friction and no air resistance and that gravity is 10ms okay." Us, " Where is that actually possible?". Teacher looks stricken. " Look do you want to make life more complicated? No, so just do it!" But my physics teachers are cool
Spoiler
I liked this poem. It is really good. Well done and keep writing!