Graceful Twirls

Heya, JaylinBoykins! Lupa here for a review... let's begin.

1) The beginning makes some sense to me, but it doesn't completely make me understand. Why are you questioning whether a girl is an animal? I don't know why birds, cobras, and cats relate to this poem.

2) Click Clack isn't the best onomatopoeia to use here. What exactly is clacking right now? In fact, that line doesn't do much for the poem as a whole. Deleting it would work fine.

3) I agree with previous reviewers; the last line is too long and too much. Divide it up into two different lines or find some way to shorten it, somehow. Maybe you could say, "They shall never forget how their hearts danced along that day."

I like the idea of your poem overall, although I think it needs some elaborating / description. I would like to see more explanation about the dancer. But, like I said, the idea is really nice. I hope to see more of your work soon!

XOX,
Lupa22

I love the visuals and the meter in this poem. Very beautiful! I can easily imagine the dancer and see her movements.

I'll start of by saying that this poem does a good job at painting a picture, the description works well and I am able for the most part to visualise a scene or at least the tone of the scene. First before specifics some general feedback would be to try not to force rhyme, rhyme should be something that comes naturally or not at all and should never be valued over the poem's meaning and message. I would also recommend to try and describe some colours as well, the action and movement of the scene is conveyed well enough that I want to be able to see it in my mind, but my brain struggles to find some colours to assign to it. Your biggest shortcoming by far is the flow, the lines vary in how many syllables they have to the point where some liens take twice as long to read as the others, and I don't mean the first three being short I mean the main body lines are too varied. It would be better to pace them out with some dramatic pauses than to have them read aloud in this manner.

Specifically I think you used face one time too many in the 6th line, like you could say the tears roll down her cheeks, it would break the rhyme but like I said rhyme should come second to making sense. Also daze does not rhyme with day or with pace, and I don't have a problem with things not rhyming like I said earlier, but if you have the rest of it rhyme you really can't afford to miss a rhyme. Sorta like if you you're gonna make all the other lines rhyme you should make the effort to make such a pivotal line like that one rhyme too.
To end with a compliment I liked your use of alliteration like "saturated with sorrow"
Have a good one and keep writing.

Hi there, Jay!

So it's made clear immediately that the narrator is speaking about a dancer after the intro being a rather detached and confusing series of questions that don't add much characterization or meaning to the dancer or the poem, respectively. Your rhyme for grace/face is busted because you use face twice in the same line, making an in-rhyme before the end-rhyme on the same word, nullifying the effect. Beyond this point, I believe you let your rhymes control you, so I'd really like to know and read what this poem would have in store had it been free-verse.

Why is she saturated with sorrow and crying while she moves with confidence? No context. "She has mastered...in a daze;" is a wasted line to me, and I think you can use this space better to give depth and context to the poem and character so there's some justice to be had about her emotions. Basically: give us a reason to care.

Finally, there's a ton of telling here, and nearly zero showing. If it were lyricism, I'd understand, but you're just subverting narration into the thoughts of the dancer and the audience and not giving us the story at play. There's more to show, more to give. There's just more. Work on it and up the ante.

Hope this helps,
Ty