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139,486 Literary Works • 672,577 Reviews
Hey Jash! It's been a while since I've seen anything from you, so I'm really glad to see something from you.
), but you pleasantly surprised me.
I like the creative style of the poem, but I didn't start reading with much expectation (it's a sad trend that the prettier the appearance of the poem, the more disappointing the content
There were some images like "fleeting faces" and some trepidation about the use of adverbs here that I didn't care for, but they contributed to the overall effect of the poem, so I feel confident in saying you've done well with this, and I'm not a fan of love poems. +1 for fresh images, too.
Happy review day,
June
I am secretejournalist, reviewing for the fire flower! I follow anyone I review, so considerer yourself followed
I thought this was creative, nice, and interesting. A different type of poetry than what I write, so it was refreshing to read. I honestly do not find anything wrong with this poem, but thats probably cause I am not used to this type of poetry. If you want to share a link, go to the fourms!
But anyway, I liked this overall, and would like to read more! Keep writing
~SecreteJournalist
Hey Jash
First of all i love the idea of the heart.
The poem is amazing! it has a lot of emotions and meaning.
I love the second and third stanza.
Sorry but i didn't get the punctured part.
Other than that its amazing(like I said)
Oh, thank you! <3
I put punctured there because the speaker has a broken heart, but it's starting to heal.
Hey Jash
First of all i love the idea of the heart.
The poem is amazing! it has a lot of emotions and meaning.
I love the second and third stanza.
Sorry but i didn't get the punctured part.
Other than that its amazing(like I said)
These are good feelings in the poem but you might want to change the format on here-it was hard to understand.
cheers and goodbye,
CardDragon RETURNS!
Oh, I see... I attached the proper format, though.
thanks!
Hello! I'm here to review your poem!
so first off, I really like the concept of this poem, I could just feel the raw emotion you are portraying. I really really think that turning this into a heart did not really help your poem. It gets confusing when it comes to reading it. Nonetheless, it was a good idea, however, I strongly suggest you format this properly. There were some brackets that were kind of, "unnecessary." You could've just put the "author's note" thing at the bottom or just put it in the comments. Anyway, great work! Keep Writing!
GrapeNerd
Thank you!