Hi,
I really enjoyed reading your poem. I thought you made great use of imagery throughout this work. You eloquently illustrated not just what the narrator is seeing, but also feeling (physically and emotionally). I also enjoyed how you revisited the beginning of the poem in your final stanza, reiterating the reality of the situation without seeming repetitive or redundant.
My constructive criticism for this work is in regard to the third stanza. Each of the other stanzas begins with a very short line (just 2 words mainly), but stanza three does not do this and rather jumps right into the poem full force. I thought that this disrupted the flow and creates an inconsistency in the otherwise repetitive style of each section. The beginning of the final stanza (despite having more than two words) still works with the style, as it calls back to the first line, now with more context. Style consistency may just be a personal preference of mine, but generally I think it can really help with flow and rhythm.
Overall, this is a great piece of writing that brought to me a clear image of blustery winter rain and the despondency of feeling trapped.
Great job and keep writing, you definitely have a way with words in your descriptive portrayal of the setting and mood building.
Points: 54
Reviews: 12
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