Finite

by JCK

  • Poetry
  • Other

Published October 8, 2011

In The Archicogium Collection

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Didn't really know where to post this as it was just another spur of the moment thing. I'm not even sure if it's a poem.

How sad would it be to be there at the end?
To gaze up into the sky and see only blackness, the stars of old lost in oblivion.

How lonely would it be to be there at the end?
Civilization lost eons ago. No followers and no companions.

How strange would it be to be there at the end?
The last living thing; the last thought to think.

How magnificent would it be to be there at the end?
To be the final one to wonder at the age old question.

How absurd would it be to die at the end?
All is for nothing. We were what we were. We die with ourselves as nothing can’t remember.

Where is your Deity? Where is your Science?

Comments & reviews · 6
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PollarBear14
Review
PollarBear14 wrote a review Review · Oct 12, 2011

I really liked the thoughts behind this poem and the language you used. Great job. The last half is especially good because it is filled with a sort of wistful longing. I especially loved your last sentence because of its strong sence of accusation. This is great!

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LadySpark
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LadySpark commented Comment · Oct 9, 2011

I came here, ready to review, and my jaw dropped. There is nothing to be said. I loved it. :D

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JCK
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JCK commented Comment · Oct 9, 2011

We die with ourselves as nothing can’t remember.

one tiny grammatical error in that line


There's no error.

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JudyG710
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JudyG710 commented Comment · Oct 8, 2011

That was pretty good. I liked that it got me thinking. And I do believe it is a poem. Wonderful job.

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kimmybee
Review
kimmybee wrote a review Review · Oct 8, 2011

Haha! I loved this! This was very interesting to read :D Some things I noted:
With each different section you managed to evoke a different reason in the reader and then went on to something else, leaving them to ponder (not in a bad way)

How sad would it be to be there at the end?.....


How lonely would it be to be there at the end?....


How strange would it be to be there at the end?....


How magnificent would it be to be there at the end?....


How absurd would it be to die at the end?.....

Where is your Deity? Where is your Science?

It was brilliant

the last thought to think?
I don't think I fully got how this flowed with everything else- but that's probably just me.
To be the final one to wonder at the age old question.
I like how you unified every religious belief here: what happens after death?
We die with ourselves as nothing can’t remember.
one tiny grammatical error in that line
Where is your Deity? Where is your Science?
This part was just...awesome to read. I think in a way it evokes in the reader their views on religion versus science. Albert Einstein would probably take this moment to say, "Science without religion is lame and religion without science is blind"

All in all an excellent poem that I'd probably put in Dramatic, then again it fits perfectly here-seems to be apart of the charm of the poem.
Thanks for sharing, keep writing :D

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amygabb
Review
amygabb wrote a review Review · Oct 8, 2011

I really love this poem! What a fantastic idea...
My favorite part is the last half - I think it is deeper and more thought-provoking.

How strange would it be to be there at the end?
The last living thing; the last thought to think. (Um, one thing: We wouldn't be the last living thing.)

How magnificent would it be to be there at the end?
To be the final one to wonder at the age old question. ( love, love, LOVE this line!)

How absurd would it be to die at the end?
All is for nothing. We were what we were. We die with ourselves as nothing can’t remember. So Haunting! I had to read it three times to understand it fully. I like that you say nothing can't remember - humans have such a 'privileged' idea of us, over nature, animals, etc. Love it!

Where is your Deity? Where is your Science?



Thanks so much! This is DEFINITELY a poem worth reading.

I don't really have anything you could improve....



“All stories are true," Skarpi said. "But this one really happened, if that's what you mean.”
— Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind