Two lights, Both beautiful,
Shining in the Darkness.
With light so Plentiful,
It fills my Awareness.
* * *
I move Towards it,
My muscles are Burning.
Skin shredded, Peeling a bit,
And my stomach Turning.
* * *
I am so close, my Goal is near.
All will be well, when I reach the End.
My raw flesh is burned, by a single Tear.
I feel it now, the Love they send.
* * *
My journey is done, my Quest is ended.
I'll doff you now, Pain my harness.
I've reached the lights, left Them upended.
Time to be done, to embrace the Darkness.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,041 Literary Works • 672,928 Reviews
Hi, IntelligentlyStupid.
Lovely imagery. I like that you use punctuation, and that you are organized when it comes to creating stanzas. I have a question, though... Why the random capital letters? Is there a reason why you did that? If not, I'd suggest you to edit that out, because it can be distracting. Good job, though.
-Valo
hey, I'm bee, here to review you!
firstly, i have to say that this is a very beautiful poem with the right use of grammar and figures of speech.
"Two lights, Both beautiful,
Shining in the Darkness.
With light so Plentiful,
It fills my Awareness."
this is my favorite verse, it's also the first and i don't think the intro would have been any better. it gave me so much reason to go on with the poem.
this poem is sad and lovely. perfect punctuation and i didn't find much to criticize or anything for that matter. Good Job!
This is a great piece of poetry. I totally enjoyed it. Especially the lines below
I move Towards it,
My muscles are Burning.
Skin shredded, Peeling a bit,
And my stomach Turning.
* * *
Time to be done, to embrace the Darkness
.........all these lines are my favorite. I am not a great poet myself and so it's a bit weird for me to judge your work but only to let you know, I feel sometimes the poem seems to be a little more overdrawn. I mean, though it's supernatural but at times the poem seems just a compilation of good words together. Besides all this, you're work is wonderful indeed.
God bless!