z

Young Writers Society


12+

A Rose By Any Other Name

by IntelligentlyStupid


I */|\* I

I walked down the street; I was with two friends that night.

Two silly girls and myself; We sauntered around town.

A sudden fear brought by text; A call made with crying in sight.

A lost lover from the net; Some hell to bring the day down.

II **/|\** II

That evening was hell; It all happened and the stories came

Two girls spilled their hearts; Hearing the truth was not so great.

Slice and dice six lines to cross; A pattern on a wrist of shame.

Then suddenly it happened, The time of truth, the killing fate.

III ***/|\*** III

Sitting on a swing she barely moved; Her sweater was gone and her feet bare.

"Go after her" is what she said; She pointed after her only friend.

"I'll be fine, I'm okay now"; She pointed again and bade me to stare.

Her friend had glass, and an upturned wrist; Death was just around the bend.

IV *** */|\* *** VI

I ran to her and took the glass; Then I rushed us back to check again.

There she sat, with a smile on her face; "See, I'm fine" was what she said.

Later that night the friend tried again; Pills were used, to kill her brain.

An ambulance and two calls from the cops; The friend lived to say "I'm glad I ain't dead".

V *** **/|\** *** V 

I realized then, I loved her dearly; I tried to tell her, but her ears were closed

She didn't want my heart; She wanted to destroy my core.

Another love happened, but it ended soon; I tried again but I over imposed.

Now she hated me, but I couldn't let it go; I waited and hoped, I tried once more.

VI *** ***/|\*** *** IV

We were friends again; But then I had to ruin it.

In my eyes she was still an angel; I couldn't see the darkness inside.

I told myself it was just a phase; I could help her to admit.

But I was lying, to myself and her; Somewhere deep down I knew she was Ms. Hyde.

VII *** *** */|\* *** *** IIV

I tried and tried, I wouldn't give up; An angel was in there she just had to shine.

Some polish and love, that's what she needed; But she hated me more, while she took my aid.

She thought I was a toy, such fun to play with; She didn't care that I had a fragile design.

She loved to hurt me, she loved the pain; The scratches I took, but emotions were her blade.

VIII *** *** **/|\** *** *** IIIV

Soon I didn't care, I thought I was OK; the pain was normal, the words hurt less.

I found a place, very deep within; It tried to tell me that it was all so wrong.

But I loved her still so I bore it still; The day never came, and she never said yes.

I tried it all, to win her love; Words and deeds, and some poems and song.

IX *** *** ***/|\*** *** *** XI

But soon I learned, by the taste of blood; It crept into my mouth, from the hole in my back.

She stabbed me then, with the knowledge of my core; She knew it all, my entire past.

I tried to fight, and take some ground back; But then soon I knew, her heart was black.

A refusal to see, had cost me so much; I wouldn't admit, but I knew it couldn't last.

 X *** *** *** */|\* *** *** *** X

It didn't matter what I called her; She had a name and a game, and they both described her.

That sense of success, from helping her out; Is forever gone, replaced by pain.

I truly learned a lesson that day; I know now, that even as it were

A rose called by any other name, would still rot just the same.



~Wolfclaw


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48 Reviews


Points: 970
Reviews: 48

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Wed Aug 05, 2015 7:40 pm
Edelweiss wrote a review...



Hey there, Edelweiss here to give a review.
This was a very sad poem, I liked it because of how well you made the reader feel. It was a beautifully dark poem, this captivated me in a sense which is odd since normally I do not enjoy things like this. But hoorah for you then! The last sentence was my favorite it was the perfect ending.
Even though I like this poem it was too sad, I suppose it may be because it brings back un pleasant memories of my past.
But never the less you fulfilled every authors objective of making the reader feel a certain way. That's something a lot of authors struggle on, you went far and beyond that point. So good job, and keep writing!






When i found this poem on my harddrive, It was kind of a struggle to decide if i wanted to upload it anywhere. Originally I uploaded it on deviantart. Some time later i received both a message and an apology, as well as a compliment on the poem from the person it was about, which was shocking as hell. I think that poems written about real events, in the midst of emotion are the ones that are most likely to elicit an emotional response from the reader.



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163 Reviews


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Reviews: 163

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Sun Aug 02, 2015 9:24 am
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Mysticalxx wrote a review...



Wow..............I liked this poem a lot. Firstly, your rhyming sense is really great and all the words rhyme at the end. Secondly......the theme of the poem is dark, which I like. I'm sorry if you were depressed when you wrote this. I hope you are fine now.

There might be a few mistakes in the poem, but I'm not sure how to point them out. Overall, I really like .........the essence of the poem, and..................good work.


Keep it up! Write more!

Mysticalxx






I was, but I wrote this a loong time ago. well, i mean only like a year or two or somewhere between, but things are better now! :D



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9 Reviews


Points: 496
Reviews: 9

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Sun Aug 02, 2015 2:53 am
DarkDewDrops wrote a review...



Hey there!
For starters: I love the way you broke it up into sections. And I don't know if you meant to do this, but the whole mirror image title thing is super metaphorical in accordance with the piece, if you kind of get what I'm saying. Love it. Metaphors are the best -INSERT THUMBS UP HERE-
Your use of italics for emphasis are really well used. At first, I didn't get it, and I was a little confused by it, but the point really got across. You've done a really good job using formatting to your advantage here.
You definitely did a great job of grabbing the reader by the shoulders and dousing them in emotions right before tearing their little hearts out. I love it. 100% in that context.
Sections 7 and 9 were definitely my favorites. I love the use of the image of an angel, because it has such a set connotation with people of all ages and cultures, and you fit it in so well to your story. Also, in section 9, the reader gets a really good push-pull effect that, although is an emotional metaphor, uses great imagery and pulled me right where I'm pretty sure you wanted to take me.
And the end- OH THE END- just hit me. The title had drawn me to read this and the end was just so great- no one could have written that ending better than you did.
Amazing job. Keep writing... Please :)

-DarkDewDrops






I will likely never stop. Sadly I'm just a lazy turd and don't like doing reviews for ponts ;-;, so most of my stuff goes on DeviantArt!

And thanks so much for the praise :D



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37 Reviews


Points: 466
Reviews: 37

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Sat Aug 01, 2015 10:09 pm
shaon wrote a review...



Hello...

*Releases a sigh* I am reviewing after some time, so... please bear with me.

If the intention of your poem was to make me depressed, it sure did. I am not stating this in a depreciative way, though.

The title of your poem is profound; it's an expression that we're all too familiar with, however, the way you changed its interpretation into this macabre and dark poem is really astounding.

Poems are supposed to make us feel a certain way; I mean the substance of a poem is to make us feel something and yours made me feel sorry and little annoyance. I truly feel pity for the ensnared lover in your poem and I wish he hadn't been so naïve about the whole matter... so, I also feel regret.

Guess, your poem had fulfilled its purpose. Enjoyed reading it. Keep writing more.






Ouch? I wish he hadn't been so naive either you know!
My intention is actually not to make people depressed, but rather to tell a story, which may or may not be depressing depending on how you interpret it. Thanks for your words, and yes, i will keep writing :D




Proud people breed sad sorrows for themselves.
— Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights