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The Prison Of Perfection (Re-Imagined)

by InJung15


Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

DISCLAIMER: This is an adaptation of one of my older pieces "The Prison of Perfection". It was a Creating Task that I did in my English class

The facts and statistics presented in this piece is not true and was purely for the "creating" side of this speech.

Inspired By Prince EA

______________________________________________________________________________

Perfection.

The state of being complete and correct in every way. We all know the concept.

Hello class.

With the five or so minutes I have, I hope to inform and educate you all about an issue, an issue that should most certainly not belong in a school environment, the issue of perfectionism.

Perfection is a parasite. It waits for its next victim, hiding in plain sight. Especially in school. It has driven me crazy for years, making me compare myself to my peers. Only to continuously ask, why do I have so many fears?

Now I'm not trying to criticise perfection, as it can definitely be used for motivation. But what I’ve experienced in my last years at this place of suffering and tears, I believe we all need a little redirection.

Perfection is contagious, it’s infecting our school environment, a place where I thought I could vaccinate myself and emerge unscaved and with immunity.

Let’s now jump back a few years in time. In Year 8 I failed maths, and being of Asian-heritage that was practically a crime. Just kidding. 

I never told my parents any of my scores that year, due to constant fear of believing this would affect my career hoping that it wouldn't interfere with my life. But I realised, it was all in here, my mind. 

My parents had expectations higher than heaven, they saw me as this outstanding, undefeated student. But in reality, I was in hell, left untreated. Every single night I'm always hoping that I might forgive myself and be free of this ego leeching parasite.

Whatever we pursue, whether it be sport, music, study, we’ve all had that moment no matter how great you were at it or how bad you were, there was a higher opponent. Someone that was always better. And although some may want to deny it or pretend that it's all okay, deep down we’ve all compared ourselves with someone in a negative way.

We have all heard the words, “oh it's all just filters, photoshop, fraud, fake etc etc. But despite having known those facts, saying it has no impact, what's truly interesting to me was this.

A recent survey conducted by mental health organisation BeyondBlue found that out of the 100 teenagers that were surveyed, 8 out of 10 reported feeling symptoms of anxiety and low self esteem all from simply being on social media. It was not because they were told something, or insulted, shamed or bullied. It all developed within them.

Now having said all this, what can we, as students do, to eradicate this unwanted parasite? How can we stop it from leeching more dreams and feeding off people’s self esteem? I mean, we are not machines?! Students, instead of comparing ourselves with another, instead of constantly fighting to be better, we should take a moment, a breath, a pause in this long marathon we call life, and reflect on our progress. Only then can we truly grow as a person. Because If we keep on comparing ourselves to others, we will forever be stuck trying to achieve something that can never be reached.

So instead of scrolling through social media like we all usually do, wishing you had someone else’s life, comparing your life with theirs. Take a moment for yourself to appreciate your journey. Invest in yourself, follow your passion. Put social media to the side for a while. Go to bed without using it as a guide for how you live your life. Hopefully by doing so, we can prevent this parasitic predator feeding on the dreams and goals of more teenage hosts that come after us.

True success is being yourself, in a world that will forever try to make you someone else.

Salvador Dali said it best, “Have no fear of perfection, because you’ll never reach it”

Thank you. 


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Sun Jan 29, 2023 5:32 am
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: This was a really powerful little piece here. For being a bit on the shorter side you really managed to hit on some powerful and rather pressing points there and do it pretty comprehensively for how short this is.

Anyway let's get right to it,

The state of being complete and correct in every way. We all know the concept.

Hello class.

With the five or so minutes I have, I hope to inform and educate you all about an issue, an issue that should most certainly not belong in a school environment, the issue of perfectionism.

Perfection is a parasite. It waits for its next victim, hiding in plain sight. Especially in school. It has driven me crazy for years, making me compare myself to my peers. Only to continuously ask, why do I have so many fears?


Ooooh this is a really lovely start already. You're introducing us right to the very heart of the matter and doing it quite powerfully too through some very effective words there. So far this has proved to be a very solid start and I am liking the atmosphere you're creating here.

Now I'm not trying to criticise perfection, as it can definitely be used for motivation. But what I’ve experienced in my last years at this place of suffering and tears, I believe we all need a little redirection.

Perfection is contagious, it’s infecting our school environment, a place where I thought I could vaccinate myself and emerge unscaved and with immunity.

Let’s now jump back a few years in time. In Year 8 I failed maths, and being of Asian-heritage that was practically a crime. Just kidding.


Well this is playing with a lot of very powerful moments there even as they hide behind a little wall of humor there. I think its a wonderful way to bring up the point you're trying to make here. I definitely find myself already very invested.

I never told my parents any of my scores that year, due to constant fear of believing this would affect my career hoping that it wouldn't interfere with my life. But I realised, it was all in here, my mind.

My parents had expectations higher than heaven, they saw me as this outstanding, undefeated student. But in reality, I was in hell, left untreated. Every single night I'm always hoping that I might forgive myself and be free of this ego leeching parasite.


THose are some really powerful words being used to address this and I love it. You're really calling out to the very heart of just how dangerous of a thing the idea of being perfect can be and as much as it you said this isn't based too much on reality, it certainly feels very much like it could be.

Whatever we pursue, whether it be sport, music, study, we’ve all had that moment no matter how great you were at it or how bad you were, there was a higher opponent. Someone that was always better. And although some may want to deny it or pretend that it's all okay, deep down we’ve all compared ourselves with someone in a negative way.

We have all heard the words, “oh it's all just filters, photoshop, fraud, fake etc etc. But despite having known those facts, saying it has no impact, what's truly interesting to me was this.


I love the way that point is brought up too. Its a good way to not just outright dismiss perfectionism as something that's solely just a dangerous and evil thing but rather puts into perspective exactly when it well be so dangerous. I think that's a lovely choice you've made there especially given this is an article.

A recent survey conducted by mental health organisation BeyondBlue found that out of the 100 teenagers that were surveyed, 8 out of 10 reported feeling symptoms of anxiety and low self esteem all from simply being on social media. It was not because they were told something, or insulted, shamed or bullied. It all developed within them.

Now having said all this, what can we, as students do, to eradicate this unwanted parasite? How can we stop it from leeching more dreams and feeding off people’s self esteem? I mean, we are not machines?! Students, instead of comparing ourselves with another, instead of constantly fighting to be better, we should take a moment, a breath, a pause in this long marathon we call life, and reflect on our progress. Only then can we truly grow as a person. Because If we keep on comparing ourselves to others, we will forever be stuck trying to achieve something that can never be reached.


I think that's a lovely point to bring those statistics in there and then immediately also addressing the real world steps to be taken to actually overcome this problem instead of just revealing it is another lovely extra step I think. This has so far been constructed beautifully I think.

So instead of scrolling through social media like we all usually do, wishing you had someone else’s life, comparing your life with theirs. Take a moment for yourself to appreciate your journey. Invest in yourself, follow your passion. Put social media to the side for a while. Go to bed without using it as a guide for how you live your life. Hopefully by doing so, we can prevent this parasitic predator feeding on the dreams and goals of more teenage hosts that come after us.

True success is being yourself, in a world that will forever try to make you someone else.

Salvador Dali said it best, “Have no fear of perfection, because you’ll never reach it”


Ooooh that really is a beautiful line to end. I adore the uplifting message there and the relatively simple way you go about letting us know how we can do the little thing to try and escape from this problem you've just showcased. Its a great thing to end on I think.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, a really powerful little piece that definitely opens the reader's mind to the topic that you're trying to address here. The way the solutions are presented and it all comes together is really quite well done too.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate




InJung15 says...


Hi Kate, thank you so much for taking the time to read this and give such a well analysed review, very much appreciated:)



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Sat Jan 07, 2023 7:46 am
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DreamyAlice wrote a review...



Hey In Jung! Alice is here to give a review!

MY THOUGHTS

I related to this piece of writing. I read this at the right moment in my life when I needed to read this. The pressure of perfection and the reality of trying to maintain the image of a perfect and genius student in front of parents and fellow peers is hard and sad. I am a good student as perceived by others, but it never ends, this race of perfection. You manage to evoke these emotions in the readers so really well done. You are a good writer who writes right to the point with well-structured sentences.

TINY- MINY NITPICKS

“oh it's all just filters, photoshop, fraud, fake etc etc.


here, maybe remove the extra 'etc'. I understand if you are speaking this as a speech but if you are supposed to write this and give, it would be better to remove the extra 'etc'. And you forgot to write the ending quotation marks for the dialogue.

It was not because they were told something, or insulted, shamed or bullied.


The structure of this particular sentence seems a bit out of place. Remove the first 'or' and put a comma before the second 'or'. Like this: "It was not because they were told something, insulted, shamed, or bullied."

These are just small nitpicks, just edit them out and it will be fine:)

OVERALL

No suggestions to give you. You are a writer to writes precisely and smoothly, which I find hard to do as a writer, so I admire your writing.

Keep Writing!👍




InJung15 says...


Hi Alice, thank you so much for reading this and taking your time to review it, much appreciated. I will be sure to edit out the things u mentioned. Thank you so much:)



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Tue Jan 03, 2023 8:03 pm
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Sunflowerdemon3712 wrote a review...



Sunflower here for a quick (probably not) review!


If this essay didn't get you at least an A- then that teacher is absolutely blind because I found your piece to be fantastic! It was structured well and got straight to the point without leaving out meaningful information. The message was conveyed smoothly and I really appriciate that.

I also liked this because honestly this is something that is very personal for me, I am someone who tends to strive for perfection even when it's unataiable. I've been getting better about such things but this essay just really put into words some of my feelings.

That's really all I have to say. Thank you and I hope you have a great day/night and keep on writing! Bye.




InJung15 says...


Hey Sunflower, thank you so much for your kind words and for taking your time to write this review! Much appreciated :)




Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.
— William James