Just An Average Girl

Hi. My name is Katie Alex, and I’m fifteen years old. I live in Brookdale, California with my mom and dad and two brothers and a sister. My dad is a car mechanic, and my mom stays at home to homeschool us kids. She also writes books. We have two cats and a dog. When I grow up, I want to be a writer and a photographer and a traveling interpreter. Most people would say I’m a pretty average girl. And that’s basically who I am. Now let’s talk about you.

You’re pretty average too, aren’t you? Except sometimes you don’t feel average, or maybe you feel too average. You don’t like school much, but you survive. Sometimes the kids are real jerks, and most of them don’t think too highly of you. You try not to care, but it’s not always easy. Words can hurt, but you don’t want anyone to know they’ve hurt you. You want to look strong, because you know you are. It’s just that sometimes you forget, and you start to feel a little bit vulnerable. Like when your family starts acting like they don’t care about you. But you know you can be strong if you try.

Some days are better than others. Sometimes you have a really bad day, and you feel kind of low. When you start having several bad days in a row, you feel really terrible. You start to think you can’t do anything right, that nobody loves you, that you’re too tired to care anymore. You think that no one understands, that no one cares. Some days you just feel like giving up. But you don’t want to give up, not really. You still want to be strong, even though it’s so hard sometimes. So you keep struggling on, day by day, telling yourself all the time that you can make it. But it’s just not that easy….

How do I know all that about a stranger? Well, all I had to do was look in the mirror and describe the emotions of the person reflected there. Look around you, honey. Just look at those people. Do you see? Do you see the masks they put on every morning? Do you see the fake smiles they slip on in society? Do you see the scars on their hearts, so carefully hidden by harsh words and accusing stares? Do you see the way they lay awake for hours every night, staring into the darkness and silently begging for the strength to face another day, as tears slide slowly down their drained faces? No? You don’t see their weakness? All you see is carefree youths lounging and giggling their way through life, right? Because that’s all they let you see. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Don’t judge a person by the way they try to hide their broken heart. Look beyond the sneers and the smirks and see the raw, delicate human heart beneath. Every life is precious. Don’t ruin theirs by trying to get even or be better. All they’re trying to do is survive the only way they know how in a cold, ruthless world. Don’t add to their struggles. They’re human, like you. We’re all just a jumble of flesh and bones trying to masquerade as an invincible iron wall.

All you can see around you is the storm, but don’t forget that a few years from now, things will look much different. Right now, you’re somewhere in the future, and you look much better than you look right now. Someday you’ll have a family- a spouse that loves you, children that look up to you- little lives that you are responsible for, to guide on the right path, to advise and instruct, to love, to be there for in rough times. Don’t give all that up just because life isn’t so pretty right now. Life isn’t always about the opinion of the most popular kids in school. Five years from now you probably won’t even remember the things that seem so important to you now. Millions of people are seeing reasons to live right now, and many of them are in much worse positions than you. Just because you don’t see what they’re seeing doesn’t mean it’s not there, and it doesn’t mean you’ll never find it.

If you feel like giving up on life, remember this- you’re the one I think about every night, the one who keeps me up until seven in the morning, the one I cry over and wish I could help, the one I wish I could encourage and stop from making the wrong choice. You’re the one I wish I could love, just to show you it’s okay, even if you seem like the most horrible person I’ve ever met. I know you’re out there, and I wish I could help you. I care! You don’t even have to be nice to me. I just want you to know you’re not worthless. I want to be a friend, not a psychologist.

Please, if that’s you, or if it’s not but you just feel like ranting, or talking, or having a random friend (because you can never have enough of those), or if this article has encouraged you in any way, PLEASE send me a PM. I’d like to know that it was worth staying up ‘til 6:00 AM to write this. Don’t worry about bothering me- I have way too much time on my hands, and I love helping people!

Stay strong and don’t ever give up! I love you!!