Endless: Part VIII

His embrace made me feel safe… Like the whole world was at peace. The cool breeze from reality awoke me from my daydream, and I stepped back. “We should go back inside.” I said, avoiding eye contact.

“…R-Right.” Aiden agreed, and walked back in the apartment. I sat outside for a few more minutes, trying to compose myself. It’s alright, Ren. Being in love is- No! It’s not okay. Getting attached will be the death of me. There’s no time for “love.” Especially not out here with the world like it is.

I finally decided to go back in, and headed straight for my room. I lay on my bed, just thinking. I’ve gone against everything I once believed in… I thought being alone would keep my survival chances high, so I swore I’d only look out for myself… Yet here I am, looking out for three more people. This is going to end badly, and I know it… Why am I even thinking about this? What’s done is done, and I can’t take it away from them. This place is probably the little bit of hope left that they have to hang onto. But why should I care? I mean, they’re not my problem. That’s true, but you’re doing the right thing. Why am I thinking so much about this?

I sat up, and pushed my hair back off my forehead. Sleep. It’ll help clear your head. Yeah, and then wake up tomorrow and live it all again. Great idea… I walked over to a desk that sat against the wall, and pulled out the top drawer. That’s where I kept memories. Or at least what’s left of them. I pushed aside torn pictures of my family on trips or on the first day of school, or dances. I even moved over a baggie with my mother’s necklace and father’s broken watch, along with a small shoe box with my little sisters broken doll and little brothers wheel-less fire truck. They’re not what I’m looking for. After 5 minutes of rummaging, I finally wrapped my hand around what I was looking for. I pulled out my old stuffed elephant I used to play with when I was four. I used to take it to bed when I was scared, sad, or couldn’t sleep. Now it’s dirty, missing a leg and an eye, but that doesn’t make it any less meaningful. Dad gave it to me as a Christmas present one year after he came home from a business trip in Japan. I’ve refused to part with it since…

I put the drawer back, and climbed back into my bed, snuggling the elephant against my cheek. I closed my eyes, and when I opened them again, it was morning. I got up, rubbed my eyes, and stretched. I felt like I had gotten no sleep. I put my bare feet on the cold floor, and then walked out of my room and into the kitchen.

“Good morning.” I heard Kellin’s voice say as I clenched my eyes and stretched. When I opened them, I saw him sitting on the floor, fixing a gun.

“Morning…” I said.

He looked up at me with a concerned look. “Are you alright?” he asked.

“Yeah, I just had a… a rough night.” I replied. Aiden walked out of the kitchen. His blonde hair was sticking up in every direction. He made eye contact with me and smiled, I returned the smile, and he went back to the room he was staying in. “So.” Kellin said firmly. “What did Aiden need to talk to you about last night?”

Crap. “He just wanted to talk.” Keep going. “To see how I was doing with all of this, and if I was comfortable with you two staying here.”

He gave me a skeptical look, and went back to fixing his gun. I walked into the kitchen, and grabbed the last piece of dear meat from the fridge. I stuck it in the frying pan and started making breakfast for us all. I remember when my Dad used to do this. He’d make a big breakfast for us on the weekends with scrambled eggs, sausage, fried potatoes, and bacon. My favorite part of the morning was waking up and hearing the marvelous sizzling of the bacon, and the delectable aroma. It always seemed to put a smile on my face.

“What are you making?” I jumped, not realizing that Marcy had come into the kitchen. She smiled at me.

“Breakfast.” I said. “It’s the last of the meat I have. I thought I’d make use out of it before I go out for more.” She looked at the pan funny, and then sat on a chair.

“Ren? Is Aiden your boyfriend?” I turned to her with wide eyes. Why on earth would she say that? “I’m just asking. He told me you were pretty last night, and I thought you were-“

“He said what?” I interrupted. My heart felt like it fell to the floor, and I could feel my cheeks heat up again.

“Well, last night, after you went to bed, Aiden sat down with me, and Kellin went to bed. Aiden asked me about you and I said you were nice, and funny, and helpful, and then he said, ‘I think you forgot pretty.’”

I turned away, and continued cooking the meat. Did he really say that? Or was it part of a dream Marcy had? Maybe he likes you back, Ren. Doubtful... I pushed my hair back, and took a deep breath. “Marcy? Will you get a plate from the cupboard?” She got up, and skipped to the cupboard, pulling out a green plastic plate. I stuck the meat on there, and started cutting it. “Will you go get the boys?” She nodded, and ran out of the kitchen.

I dropped the knife on the table, and sat down in the chair. I can’t get what Marcy said out of my head… I think you forgot pretty… My cheeks felt like they were on fire. I got up, went to the sink, and splashed water on my face. What the hell am I doing? Getting worked up over a guy? This isn’t like you Ren! I KNOW! I pound my fist on the counter, and sit back down. What’s taking Marcy so long? I stood up, and poked my head out of the kitchen. “Marcy?” I called. When there was no answer, I walked out into the living room. “Marcy? Kellin? Aiden?” I called again. Again, there was no answer, and I began to panic. “Marcy!” I yelled, going down the hall, looking in the rooms. “Kellin! Aiden!” I turned back and ran to the living room, that’s when I saw the front door wide open. My stomach dropped to the floor, and I felt a lump grow in my throat. I grabbed a gun, and went out into the hall.

I kicked in every door, yelling for them, but didn’t receive a response. I ran down the stairs, and when I turned to look in more rooms, I saw a group of guys, all with knives. They had Marcy, Kellin, and Aiden held hostage, each with knives at their necks. Oh, god… My heart was beating so loud, I could hear it in my ears. I tightened my grip on the gun, and raised it to the men. I knew it was a stupid idea, but it was the best one I had at the time. I frantically looked at Marcy, Kellin, and Aiden, seeing the fear in all of their eyes, and the tears rolling down Marcy’s cheeks. What do I do? What do I do? Be smart, Ren. You have their lives at risk this time. Not yours.