Young Writers Society

I've decided to shelve this project until further notice. It needs more planning.

I'm anxious to see where this goes. I would try to branch out from the typical futuristic sci-fi that's already been done fifty-million times by other people. It's more enjoyable if we haven't seen it before.

Very science fictiony.

Okay. It has been two months. I believe that you should have at least begun to continue it after your halted progress because of bed time.

People are awaiting impatiently and I suggest that you should add the next installment soon or there shall be an angry pack of gorillas let loose upon your computer.

I have to agree with the rest here, you have to keep going. It is quite odd that you started off with that short of an article, but just that seems to have me hooked to read more.

I have to say, It has really great potential, and you could do quite a lot. Infact, your possibilities are really endless when using space in a story. Anything can happen really. It's as diverse as magic can be in a fantasy universe.
Anyway, I digress. It could do with more to it basically

Although mega-short who's caring?! I'm sure more will follow (nudge, nudge, wink, wink!) and even though there is no plot suggested, that's the catch. You want to know what will follow, war, peace, love, average daily life? I think for a couple lines this is very captivating and I want to see more!

A prologue should catch the reader's attention so that they are irrevocably lost in your world.

Here, basically, all you did was state that a new shipyard had been christened. You gave no mention as to it's importance it whatever struggle is to come, any opposition to it being built, what specific people said of it, etc. etc. It would be much, mcuh better, and much mroe gripping for good, if you made it a full length article a couple plages long.

However, like Ohhewwo said, I'm hooked. Let's see some more.

That's not true! I've seen many articles that short in the Wall Street Journal.

Not enough to comment on, but I haven't a clue where you're going with this. Consider that a compliment. However, realize that I don't particularly care either. News clippings straight off don't tend to attract the reader, simply because they have to adjust to the story after this typical newspaper clipping. Maybe find a better way to start it off?

I know, I need to add more detail, trust me. I'll look at it and see what I can come up with.

Very rarely have I ever seen a news article this short other than in the freebies put out by the major newspapers. It might be more interesting if you made it longer.

...really, really short, this entry. But, actually, you've sort of got me hooked already, and I'm not sure why.

But, keep going!!!