Young Writers Society

I can identify with that inability to let go although it is maybe not the wise thing to do. Makes you feel helpless. Especially when you can't really understand why.

Hey, this is really am an amazing piece... It is very good...

Hi Gigi!

Hope you're having a good time right now. I here to give you a review, like you requested, a long time ago. Anyways, I'm here so that's good.

This is a very good poem, and I like how you used the universe and gravity to explain everything. It's true, that the universe does stuff sometimes to make stuff happen. And, I love how you used that... formula (?). (Don't judge, I don't know what else to call it. XD)

Okay, so, I did not see any grammar mistake other than the part where you capitalized 'The' as the second word in this line:

And The worst part is,

This is an awesome poem! It's real good! There wasn't much that I think could be changed, other than in the first three sentences, you repeat, "I don't understand" I think it's mostly personal preference, but maybe if you got rid of the second and third "I don't understand" it might flow nicer. But if you like it the way it is, that's fine too!

I can't wait to read more from you! Keep writing!

Hi there Giginicole17! it's chinku.

The above poem says an intense and beautiful tale about a person (if I'm not wrong) and his/her love, where he or she does have trust & faith even after getting betrayed by the opposite gender, which makes a sense of story.

Here after I would like to correct some mistakes and would like to suggest some points to be changed, but I guess i'm not destroying the beauty of the piece.

In fourth line it's written "But something on the inside of me", bitterly it's not making a sense or it's not giving an appropriate meaning to the narrative. Here you could write "But something crazy inside of me" tells me........so and so.

If I have understood it well then, the 11th line is narrating towards the past, like what had happened in the persons past life, hence there is a grammatical mistake which need to be corrected.

In the line 14th "As much as I try to pull away,", something is missing in this line for which it doesn't making a complete meaning. That may be "Me" or may be a substance/object.

Last not the least, the end of the poem seems not the end rather it gives a beginning of another narrative.

Apart from these the piece of work is nice. I wish you write more and more.
And what I have said is just me, and I may be wrong.

All the best,

Thanks.

This is an amazing poem. You definitely have talent, keep up the amazing work! This is a very, very relatable piece of work, I really enjoyed reading it. I am going through something similar right now, so if you don't mind my saying, this part:

"And after everything you’ve put me through,

Here I am, obeying the universe

And The worst part is,

As much as I try to pull away,

The Universe and gravity work together to pull me right back to you

Right back to a place I’m not sure I want to be

I don’t understand it, and I doubt I ever will, but

Trust me, you’re lucky the Universe loves you

Cause it’s the only way I still can. "

That part right there, describes my situation exactly.
Looking forward to more from you!

Wow, Gigi. This is a really good poem. I want to tell you that in the line "And The worst part is." you do not need to capitalize the. Also, I loved how you used the universe and gravity in your poem. <3 By the way, you don't have much periods anywhere. Only at the end. I would like to recommend to you that you should add more punctuation marks. You don't have to if you don't want to, though. Some people don't even add any punctuation marks, so yeah. I'd love to see more from you soon.

~B