We had plans to go to prom. That was supposed to be
Be voted prom King and Queen. That was supposed to be
Be the couple everybody was talking about. That was supposed to be
We were supposed to go to each others graduations. That was supposed to be
We were going to be Baylor Bears together. That was supposed to be
We were going to have a wedding in Disney world. That was Supposed to be
We were going to start a business. That was supposed to be
We were going to adopt three beautiful kids. That was supposed to be
We were going to grow old together. That was supposed to be
Forever with each other. That was supposed to be.
So i cry. I cry a lot.
I wish you the very best, but i can't help my tears
Thinking about you
thinking about us
thinking about
What was supposed to be.
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,797 Reviews
Hey Gigi!
Your poem feels like it is directly coming from your heart. I feel the narrator had dreamed a lot about her partner and their perfect future but things didn't go as plan. If it's something you personally experienced then I am really sorry that you had to face such a pain.
Like Tuckster mentioned splitting it in three stanzas would create more emphasis. The first phase comprising of the things one wanted during the High school time. The next phase revealing the aspirations one had for their future and marriage. I like the third part very much.
It's like you have taken your emotions to another level.
This line was very emotional and hit me hard.
These four lines give a strong closure and sums up your poem. I never was so fortunate to be in a relationship and don't really know what are the hardships one has to face.
But I hope that you stay strong and take out all your suppressed emotions in the form of your writings. (I am sorry if it felt wrong to you that I linked it with personal life)
You got amazing skills. Loved your poem. It short, simple and beautiful!
Keep writing. <3
Thanks so much!!!! You can read what I told Tuckser, cause it goes for you too, THanks!!!
<3 Gigi
Hi! It is so heart breaking when you design your life with a person and those plans remain a dream forever.But you know what you have a golden heart to accept the reality and still wishing the best for him. Keep your heart intact forever. Better days always come.
Your poem is short, simple and emotional too. I wish you all the best. May time heal all your wounds. Keep writing because it will make you feel way lighter.
From:Bhavya
It is heartbreaking. Thanks for the advice, I do feel so much better knowing that I have so many people rooting for me. Thanks so much! <3
Welcome Gigi. So Happy to know that you feel better now.Yes! everyone is with you .
<3
<3
Wow! I could feel the gut-wrenching emotion! Some people are never forgotten along with our feelings for them.
Alfonso, thank you so much!
Hey there GigiNicole! Tuck dropping by with a quick review for you today.
First off, my condolences. Breakups absolutely suck, but you'll get through this. Poetry can be a great way to process emotions and work through all those negative feelings, so you're already heading in a positive direction!
Overall, the repetition in here helped to drive the point home. The end was particularly hard-hitting, especially the way you brought in that theme of "what was supposed to be". You also used some nice climax in the very end that gave it a sense of finality. It was definitely my favorite part of the poem and a really strong ending.
One way I think you could have improved this is by creating stanzas based on themes. Stanzas add a sense of flow and rhythm. It is also a helpful organizational technique so you can group various lines based on theme and then show some separation and difference. For example, you could reformat the first part of the poem like this:
While these aren't perfectly even, it shows a gap in the time. The first stanza is near-future plans, like going to prom together and graduating together. The next stanza is slightly more distant, within the next 20 years or so. The final stanza is much later in life, after 20 or 30 years. It shows some difference between these lines and accentuates the longevity of these plans.
Hopefully this feedback was helpful to you, and if you have any questions about it let me know!
~Tuckster
Tuckster!!!! Thanks so much for this review!
I think i'm going to go edit it now, because that is an incredible idea! I like your thought process on the stages of life. That does add emphasis. Thanks so much for the review!!!
That could be a great break up song.
<3 I hope you feel better.
Thanks Mini