Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
On November 26th, 2018 I got my second ever boyfriend. As of yesterday, we're no longer together. I was hoping that we'd last at least until my 15th birthday (which is February 19, btw, lol) but we didn't. He broke up with me through an Instagram post, which said “I’m officially breaking up with the best girlfriend possible.” That was hard...He didn't really have an explanation through the post, so I tried calling him. He texted me this. "Look, this is the hardest thing I've ever done. You're an amazing girl, just not the one for me. I must confess, I did it. I did it with another girl, and I'm so sorry. I can't do this, this as in us, knowing that I did. I feel the grief, and the shame, and I couldn't bear to see the hurt through your eyes. I know how much you hate apologies, and I can understand why you do. I’m the worst….and I’ve accepted that. But I couldn’t keep on going as if I didn’t so anything, especially now that….well…..I’m expecting a baby boy. G, I’m so sorry. You have every reason to be upset with me.”
It’s a lot to take in, I think we can all agree on that. But I think it’s a lesson well learned. Sometimes the Universe has it’s ways of telling you what’s good and what not. I’m disappointed, hurt, and completely discontent with what happened, but I can’t stay mad forever. I’m not the type of person to hold grudges, I at least try not to. Even in the hurt I’m in. The pain I’m in, I’m trying not to hate. I know she doesn’t have money to raise that baby. I also know that her parents won’t do it either. I have a baby cousin turning 1 this April, and he has several things he can’t fit anymore. This is where I think I’m going crazy: I took all his clothes and shoes stuffed them in 2 trash bags and gave them to her at school today. When I handed the bags to her, she looks confused. “Go ahead, open them” I said with the friendliest forced smile. When she did, she looked at me with what I think was joy in her eyes. I couldn’t really tell through the tears. That’s when I knew I had done the right thing. “You can stop by my house tonight and pick up the rest of the stuff.” I was trying not to cry myself. “There’s more?” she questioned me as if I was lying to her. “Yeah. A swing, a crib, a high chair, a walker, a…...” I was cut off by her embrace. I of course hugged her back. Then he showed up. Awkward…... I tried not to let his presence ruin the mood. I failed. I couldn’t bear to look at him. I cried. Right then and there. Luckily my best friend was right behind me the whole time. I felt his loving arms wrap around me as I cried into his sweatshirt, which he gave me afterwards.
I learned that it’s okay for me to not be okay, but that shouldn’t change how I treat people. Even though he did the absolute worst thing possible, it’s not the baby’s fault. I know how hard this is for her and I’ve seen the hurt that girls that are pregnant and alone go through. Believe it or not, I’m glad he broke up with me to be with her. They have a life together, and a child. I wish them many great blessings and hope to one day have the opportunity to love on the little man, and mom and too.