No more

Loved it!

Hello, happy review day!

This is a very beautiful poem, your sights on souls really capture and intrigue the reader. I like how you talk about the idea that we are separate from these so called beautiful souls, that we are out of reach from them. By saying that our minds prompt us, you capture the reader and pull them into a spiral of ideas on wether to trust the thing that we thought makes us, us. If souls were these beautiful things inside us then what use are we of a mind? That then takes the reader on an adventure of thoughts as they begin to realise that the soul and the mind pull together to make the same thing.

When you say we can't turn our selves on and off again, I picture the idea of the soul leaving ourselves to ourselves when we truly need it. E.g. Those who succumb to the greed of money and power are the ones who's souls have truly given up on them. Leaving them an empty shell.

However, upon reading the comments, I come to realise that this was not the intentional meaning. Haha. Do you like my take on it?

This was a nice poem to read,
That's all from me,
Godly

This poem was VERY interesting but dark. I enjoyed it...a lot. The formatting was really good and your grammar looks about right too. I like how the first few stanzas were one worded. It just emphasizes your point and makes it stand out. Also, I don't really understand when you say

'We can't turn ourselves off and on again'

Could you clarify what that means for me? Thanks! Keep up the great writing!!

FireBird99

Hey there! Purple here to represent the Black Knights on this wonderful Review Day! Let's get down to business.
While I love your perspective on souls (and whether their meaning is important or if they have one at all), I think the second half of the poem addresses something different. First you state that unlike the norm, souls aren't always beautiful and may be ridden with despair. Then you say:
"We can't turn ourselves off and on again.

We must take good care."

What do you mean by turning ourselves on and off? Usually this is either synonymous with sleeping or repairing, but in the context of souls it wouldn't really make sense.

"Only the ancient ones know

How the origins, the regimes"

What origins would this be? When first I read this I couldn't help but think of ancient Egyptians, but that's probably not what you meant, haha.

So, like I said, I totally agree with your initial points about souls, I feel like you slip into an alternate subject in the 2nd half. It's totally fine if you chose to do that, but it's unclear in both your wording and your spacing (you could make a separation between stanzas if you chose to do that). I hope this helped and I can't wait to read more of your work!

Happy Review Day and good luck!

~Purple

Hello, Firepower13! I'm emeraldfox, representing Team EarthBenders this Review Day!

I liked this poem! It was kind of twisted, but I actually really enjoyed it. As an atheist, I liked the lines, "Interpret your paper however you like:/Life will move on without you." because it showed that you can read whatever religious texts you want, but as far as we know, you are nothing after you die. You had a good meter and rhymes in the piece. Your spelling, capitalization, and grammar were used correctly.

Some suggestions and corrections for you...
"Interpret your paper however you like:/Life will move on without you." Here, You should have a semicolon, not a colon because you are continuing the thought without a conjunction, but you are not making a list.
"Came about many millennia ago" should have a period at the end because the next line is a separate thought.
The "Me" doesn't make much sense. I wasn't sure why you put that because it didn't seem to feet with the rest of the poem. Or maybe I'm just not reading it the way you intended.

I really liked this poem. It was kind of twisted and hard-hitting, but that's what I liked about it. *Likes*

"YWS is blue,
Our team is green.
We're the best reviewers
You've ever seen."
-@pendr for Team Earthbenders

Hey, yo, Firepower13! Strangelove here on this fantastic Review Day and I have a review for you! Pardon me, as I'm a bit rusty.
This was a really dark poem. There isn't a lot of poems like this on here because we're all happy go lucky people. Thing is, to make a dark poem effective is if you deliver a message, is if you pack a punch that can knock out a reviewer.
You sure did that.
The message is interesting about existing and souls and all that. This isn't the first time I've seen this idea, as this is an old idea, but it's kind of a twist. You use the technique of chopping up your lines to make it seem more reflective. This actually reminded me of slam poetry, though I doubt it is. The use of language and structure applied is interesting. It's something I don't see quite often.
Though it's a good technique to use, it isn't the best. In the middle it gets muddled. It could of had this great build up that would of ended up in an explosion of deep poetry and self reflection on our souls but it didn't. That's the problems with slam poems. It isn't the best type of poetry. This hits me as I do think of it once in a while, so that's good.

Thanks for the change of scenery.

Good job,
keep writing,
stay groovy, my friend.

Hmm. Well since I believe in something I can't really agree with this poem. But it's certainly well written. I have one nitpick, though...

Souls are invisible

Intangible

Free

Yet our minds prompt us to believe

That they are golden

Beautiful

Me